How long does pet loss grief last?

Pets are part of our lives and families and it is always heartbreaking when we lose them. I really feel for you all as I have had cats who lived to 16 and 18 respectively and it was such a sad time when we had to say goodbye. I know all the posts here so far have been about cats and dogs in the main, but I have a tortoise who has been with me for 58 years, since I was 5 years old. When I was about 7, I found another tortoise walking up the middle of our road and "adopted" it after my mum had made enquiries if anyone had lost a tortoise locally (we lived in Hackney!) This new tortoise had an eye infection, and my mum took it to the vet a couple of months later while I was at school. The vet was not familiar with "exotic" pets, although nearly everyone I knew had a tortoise at one time or another, and he just put it to sleep as he didn't know what else to do. I was absolutely devistated, and still remember how much I cried over little Timmy all these years later. Luckily, I still have my original tortoise and she has been introduced over the years to both my daughters and my grandchildren. I am hoping that she will outlive me as I would truly be heartbroken if anything happened to her. She is even mentioned in my will so that she will be looked after if I go first.........
Virtual hugs to all of you. You will never forget them, but you gave them all such love and happiness while they were with you and that was returned to you many times over. x x x

Our westie was put to sleep 24th August 2014, he was 13 and had lymphoma, we were given 6 months by the vet but we knew he didn't have that long and lost.him in 4 weeks. It was awful and we miss him every day 6 years later . We have a border terrier, he is 4 years old now, he will never replace our westie but we love him for himself. I agree, you never get over the loss of a much loved pet but you learn to live with it.

For ever!

Im so sorry. Its post like these and volunteering at Pet shelters that helped me. Petlosssupport.org and the rainbow bridge. I can honestly say that by doing all these things my pain lessoned considerably after a couple months and I was able to afopt again after 6 months. I swore I would never get another dog. But now my new fur baby who is 9 years old has captured my heart to a degree I never thought possible. I know he will leave me one day and Im not looking forward to it. But I truly believe they are happy on the other side. My dog that died came to me in a dream and showed me he was okay. Please open your heart again, I know its hard, but there are so many dogs waiting for the kind of love you have to give?

Three years on and I still miss my old girl. She was such a sweetheart, a big softie. She went through my divorce and then the death of my mum with me. I couldn't of coped without her, I was a mess. She got to nearly 17 years & her heart was giving up so I had to make the decision to let her go. I sobbed for weeks and would hardly go out. Some people would probably think it was ridiculous, but she was my family, it was just me and her. I finally rescued another little dog, but she must of been so badly treated it has taken her a long time to trust me. I felt even guilty that I had got another dog, that I was replacing her, but I have given another rescue dog a chance at a happy life.

I too now have a middle aged rescue cat.

It’s horrible for months, and you never forget them because they are part of your family, but unfortunately they don’t have the same life span as we do, so we do know that one day we will be grieving for them from the day they arrive in our lives. It’s worth it though, for the fun and love they bring. I feel so sad for those posting who say they can’t have another animal in their lives,because there’s no substitute. My parents are in their nineties and took on a rescue cat, she brings so much to their lives - and we will make sure she’s looked after if necessary, I don’t think it’s ever too late.

I lost my beloved Poodie 18 months ago. I now remember her fondly and she has a memorial stone in my Zen garden.
The pain never completely goes away but I know she’s creating havoc at the Rainbow Bridge as she waits for me to collect her.

For me: the older I get the harder it is to loose a pet.

I realise this isn't a cheering answer, but it does take time to get over the hole in your life left by the passing of a pet.

How long, depends on such a lot of external factors, such as whether you have lost anyone else at about the same time.

Nearly two years after loosing a cat, I still miss him, so does his brother, but I am no longer at the weepy stage. I think that lasted a fortnight, followed by tears in my eyes when I thought of him for at least six months.

Just lost our beloved cat, Crinkle - totally unexpected and a dreadful shock. It's less than 24 hours and I know things will get better but DH and I keep breaking down.

She was so much a part of our story; DH already had her when we met, and one of the things we often used to tell people was that early on he said to me "What if you don't like my cat?" swiftly followed by "What if my cat doesn't like YOU?". Happily said cat and I loved each other very much.

And I guess that's a main part of the problems we all face when we lose a dearly-loved pet. What do we do with all the love that we used to give them?

Heartbroken isn't strong enough for how we are feeling.

I don't think you get over anyone you love dying, you get used to them not being there, but missing them doesn't stop. I miss my Mum who died in 1989. I've had quite a few dogs over the years but just like people some dogs fit with your personality better than others. I have loved all my dogs but the special ones I would I liked the, felt completely in tune with them and became very close to them. I think any animal who is loved stops being a dog, a cat or whatever and they become a person and a family member. You would grieve for anyone you loved and sadly there is no limit on grief. I still mourn the loss of a beloved dog who died in 2006 and now I am mourning another dog who died in May leaving me heartbroken again. Sending hugs to everyone who is hurting x

Oh MommaP I know just how you feel. We had our beautiful yellow lab put to sleep last November. She was nearly 14 and had incurable cancerous tumours. It’s like losing a friend. I too was a blubbering mess when I collected her ashes. Lockdown has made it worse with self isolating - no friendly dog coming to say hello in the morning, wanting to play, following you to see what you are up to etc.
Gosh I am in tears now I miss her so much. Just remember what a lovely dog you were privileged to have. When we get life more back to normal you will probably find yourself more able to cope with the awful loss and fond memories will hopefully predominate. It is so sad they cannot be with us for longer.

It`s something you get through not over.
Every pet iv`e had i still remember with affection and yes my heart hurts at the same time.
It is a good idea to fill the empty gap in respect to your loss.

The grief last for ever but you learn to pay less attention to it. I agree; get another sweet dog to love. I understand specialist rescues are still providing. My daughter in law has just got a lurcher from a specialist rescue and will soon be getting whippet from the same people.

I still cry over much-loved pets who have long gone, often before their time, even though I have had a wonderful affectionate little cat for 6 years now. She and I grieved together when her brother was run over.

As others have said, you just learn to live with it.

I think it always hurts, I lost my beloved Jack Russell cross a few years ago and I still have dreams that hurt every now and then but we adopted not long after as the house felt too empty. It's what he would have wanted us to do so I've never felt bad about it. It does fill the whole and I love Alfie with all my heart. It'll break me when his time is up.

It never truly goes away it just gets easier.

So sorry for your loss.

It does get easier with time, but you always carry them in your heart, and never stop missing them.

That they had the most spoiled, loved, and indulgent long life gives me some comfort.

I too had to have my 5 year old gsp PTS on 20th dec 2019. She was under sedation after xrays showed lymphoma all over her lungs. My sorrow is that I didn’t have chance to say goodbye. In fact I’m sobbing my heart out now! She was human in more ways than one! When does this grief stop. I’ve been through this before with a 12 year old pointer but never felt as bad as this! Sorry for your loss I truly feel for you! ?

I know exactly how you are feeling and it is heartbreaking, you know what I did... I adopted a rescue dog. It was the best thing I could have done. It didn't mean I forgot about my lovely Coco but it meant I was giving a much needed home to another, he it turns out is wonderful, a lovely and loving staffy and we adore each other.
Coco still lives in my heart ❤️.

To me...losing an animal is akin to loosing anyone else that matters to you. You NEVER forget....time just makes it easier to remember.

A year ago on 12th January I lost my wonderful mum. In April I lost my lifelong friend and in May I lost my beautiful cat, Duke. The pain I felt for all was indescribable! Anyone who said...but surely a cat? was shouted down! I loved them all!

Also lost dogs in past and couldn't face getting another for years as couldn't stand the pain. Even my dad, when he lost his amazing Golden Retriever, stood there saying "I am crying more for him than my parents, I don't know why?" ALL dog owners will know why!

Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. When the time is right you will get another which will not 'replace' just enhance your life. WE ALL know what you are feeling. Love and hugs x

So sorry for your loss, MommaP. It took me a long time to get over the death of our last Staffie, Butch, 2 1/2 years ago. WE decided to get another rescue dog recently and collected the lovely Skye from rescue remedies in Gatwick just before Christmas. We already love Skye a great deal but it has brought back sad memories of losing Butch, not helped by finding his spotted collar in the attic and Facebook throwing up the pictures we took 7 years ago when he arrived - he was a very handsome chap.
So, I'm another one who never totally gets over it. When I dwell on Butch I also think about the other dogs we have owned, I'm not religious but it would be so good if they were all there waiting at Rainbow Bridge to join me ....

Have had several pets that I've loved and lost. But, for my special "soul cat" Winston I will miss him for the rest of my life.

MommaP - embrace the memory of your precious Angel- I cried more over the passing of my precious Golden than I did a close family member- your emotion is completely understandable and a symbol if how precious your Angel was to you- let them fly in peace ???

hi i have loved and lost so many cats and dogs. I can only go on with life when i get another one. They are all different but we love them. I am sure they give me more than my family does.

Our dear little 10 year old rescue tabby cat Frankie had a stroke before Christmas - all very sudden and so in the same situation, he had to be put to sleep. It all happened so unexpectedly and feel so sad and emotional - I completely understand and empathise with you.
I have just made up a book of photos of him, from a little kitten onwards and it has been a lovely way to look through the pages and remember all the happy times with him!