will we have to choose - this is just awful :(

Hi
What about you and your partner going at separate times? One stay home with pets...one go ? Then the other goes later???

I don't think you've said how old your GC are biba; apologies if I've missed that. They'll understand I'm sure if you explain the situation.

There will be other Christmas' and better times for us all I hope, so I agree with others who suggest to 'write this one off' and hope for things to improve next year.

I think you shoukd stay and not travel. As said earlier children becoming used to this strange situation and will quite enjoy zoom and facetiming over the Christmas holiday. Lots oftheir ftiends will be doing the same thing. Better to stay safe and not risk contacts when travelling. What a reunion you’ll have when this is all over.

Kids have different priorities when young too- first time i spoke to my (then youngest)GD on phone, after being in lockdown about 3 wks (april) she said she "wished she could come see me" so she could see my cat! So im sure your GC will be much comforted & happier to know you feel you will be better staying home to care for the animals you all share& love so much.And that you will look forward to seeing them when its much safer(&easier) to do so.

Biba, sometimes talking about an issue like this can help you sort your thoughts and maybe find some ideas you hadn’t considered, so I don’t think it’s a waste of time to post.

It seems as though in this case, it’s pretty impossible to find an answer, but at least you know you’ve looked at it from all angles so you’ve done your best.

A lot of us have been brought up short about our situations during the crisis and are having to deal with things we’d never imagined. I look at my mum, who is 93 next month, and I think this is such a miserable way to be spending your last years. She has been rendered housebound by the pandemic and her world has shrunk to a tiny space now. She doesn’t complain but it’s not what it ought to be.

Likewise, we have no idea when we’ll see our son and family in America again. I don’t give it too much headspace because it’s too overwhelming so I try to be content that we speak via messenger most days and FT whenever we can.

Of course you should have posted biba70 it always helps to have another view point and to get it off your chest. I understand your dilemma we are in much the same boat. Two of our dogs are elderly and one is incontinent so can't expect house sitters to deal with that and they are too old for kennels. We have other animals as well so tend to visit family separately, would that be an option for you.? We live in France.
Things may change again before December who knows. I think we all just have to accept Christmas will not be such a family affair this year and enjoy a quieter time. I hope things work out for you.

I mostly dont see my GC 'on the day' for christmas as they live over 70 miles away.this inc one who has a birthday on boxing day. Ive been for christmas (with 2 different sets of GC twice in 11 yrs) but they are no less happy to open a gift from me or to ring or facetime and yes they adore my old cat too.But would be just as happy to see that hes safe& well& cosy too through facetime than think of him as sad & alone..i doubt we can visit to even do a drop off of gifts as we usually do either before xmas, but will have to post them.But as i was so very ill last xmas& new yr im just grateful im here & can see them all when its much safer to do so.

It sounds like what you want is for us Gransnetters to give you 'permission' that its ok to stay home & not go? Which of course it is ok anyway.But a lot of us wont be going to see AC& GC this year.And its much safer not to do so.All the safe suggestions for zoom& facetime, skype etc should be well heeded.By time xmas comes around everyone could be locked down again anyway.And i think going abroad anywhere now is a downright unsafe thing to do.

Yes, I know, thanks.

Fact is, when we made the decision to move away, back to my roots- to help my elderly parents- the UK was just around the corner, so close, so easy- just a quick car, train or plane journey away. And the other day, it really hit me sideways - that it now feels as if we are a world apart. It just got to me, hard. I agree re Christmas, that is not the issue actually. The thought that this may go on well into next year- as well as all the effects of a very possible No Deal Brexit- suddently all collided together, big time.

Cold and rainy and can't go our for big walks to clear the head and the heart.

I am amazed that people think the Cinnamon Trust might be the answer. Shouldn't we be leaving them to help people with genuine need like illness, hospitalisation, etc, not for someone's holiday.

@Biba70 - I feel for you enormously.
My conclusion is that what you want is not possible in the current (and worsening) Circumstances.
You’d like to be able to do everything as normal - wouldn’t we all???
There are some interesting, ingenious, practical suggestions on here but all the effort, planning and organising may come to nothing as restrictions may worsen by Christmas.
Wouldn’t it be kinder to yourselves, your beloved pets and your family to make a decision to travel when it’s more practical and safe?
Christmas is just a day. Many people put so much significance on being together “at Christmas”. In normal times this doesn’t matter but these times are a completely different scenario.
I agree with others that family will understand and survive; pets cannot understand and may suffer.

I think, as suggested, you must just put on happy face and enjoy the time you have, and find a dog sitter. This whole isolation thing is typical of the chaos of this govt's response. I have just come out of self-isolation on return from the remote spot in the green zone in France where I spend most of the year. Travelled back in the car, own food and drink, no public transport. However, had I had a job in Paris or Brussels (both red zone) and commuted weekly from London, I could have got off the Eurostar on Friday evening, and joined my mates in the pub. More and more I think we are basically on our own with this virus, do what you know to be safe, and do not put others at risk. x

biba70

not seen the grandchildren since February. If we want to see them (and oh yes we do) we would have to self-isolate in the UK for 14 days - go and see them, return home and isolate again. That means our cat will be left here for about 4 weeks - well looked after by neighbour, but he hates us not being home at night. And then, what do we do with our 15 year old dog? When self isolating for 14 days in UK, we will not even be allowed to even take her round the block 3 times a day- so what do we do??? Our grandchildren would be massively devastated if we have to * can't even type the letters it is so awful. They are not allowed a pet because their dad doesn't want one- and our cat and dog they consider to be theirs to.

Just cannot bear to even think about it and not see them at all for Christmas

There is an organisation called the Cinnamon Trust who will help put with dogs, walking etc. People who volunteer with them have to provide refs. They are Nationwide. It sounds like the fact that your dog is 15 and has had trauma in the past, then staying with someone else, however kind, for such a long time would not be good for her. I hope you find a solution but I think, for me personally, I would stay at home this year. Also some councils offer help for people who need help with dog walking if they are having to isolate. Given your dog's anxious attachment to you though, I get the impression that you already know what you need to do but don't want to do it because it's so painful. It is such a dreadful time and I totally empathise with your situation.

Oh, I was just about to say that I think the dog should take preference this year.
You're her "parents", whilst your grandchildren will be with theirs.

I’m going to be very blunt here. Your dog is 15. She has up to two years left. Your grandchildren are going to be devastated sometime soon. It’s best to leave her in your flat with a dog sitter.

Oopsadaisy4, great post and I would have said the same but much more clumsily!
biba70, great to see someone on here that can accept a frank appraisal with an open mind. It does seem to me that your are turning yourself inside out worrying about the cat, the dog, the grandchildren et al. With regards to the grandchildren, they will have a momentary disappointment and then bounce on to the next bit of excitement in their life...like Christmas presents! Children, for the most part, do not tend to be devastated by relatively small things (you probably set more store by these visits than you do) and if they do, they probably need things like this to learn resilience.
Make plans to "visit" digitally at convenient times for your family, keeping it upbeat, make plans about what you will do to make life for you feel more of a treat and feel good about doing the best thing for the drive to get rid of the Corona Virus.

Sorry Granolot- I live abroad about 800 miles away. Hence ...

Ask on here to see who lives near to help your dog and YES visit your precious grandchildren....I will visit mine as soon as I can. Life is too short not xx

Is it possible the grandchildren could come for sleepover see the dog and cat ?

Oh biba70, it is horrible but there is a point where you have accept it is what it is. Sounds like travelling is just too tricky at present. So depending on their ages do other things with the gkids. We haven't seen ours for months either and 3 of our 4 children and their families are in local lockdowns. We read the littlest one his bedtime stores over video link a couple of times a week, have hilarious WhatsAp group conversations with the older ones and send them all little gifts from time to time - a book, a box sweets whatever - just something to say "thinking of you". We'd love to see them, but keeping the commutation open is most important.

Thank you Twopence- yes, I am sure this is what will happen.
I know, we are privileged- but I find it so sad. We made the decision to move knowing we could go back and forth for easily, by car, or train, or plane - no borders, no restrictions. and now, it feels like we could be on the other side of the moon.

And no, we could not go back to live at our small place in the UK. Dogs are not allowed by the Owners Assoc (a decision made AFTER we bought) - our dog is tolerated as we never stay more than 2 weeks and we are VERY discreet and carry her off the premises across the common areas. And our house here could not be left for a long period in winter as we get tons of snow- and we could not leave the cate for months either. Ah well - thanks to those who tried to understand- I should have kept stum.

Yes I have a dilemma. Have not seen 94 year old Mum since March. She lives in a holiday area in a one bedroom flat. I have nowhere to stay when the hotels are booked up.
Now the rates are increasing and wondering if a seven hour train journey is feasible. Plus I have an elderly cat on thyroid medication at home. It is very difficult especially as I Mum cannot use computers, only a phone, so I have not seen her digitally either. Very hard!

The way things are at the moment-and they seem to be on a downward trend we have decided not to go to see family at Christmas. The grandchildren will understand better than your dog - and they can see you via technology.
Apart from putting yourselves and others in danger, your dog may not have that much longer with you.
Stay safe.

I do house and pet sitting....have a look for someone locally, or have a look at a site called trusted house sitting.co.uk

I know it must be very hard all round but perhaps it would be best to resign yourselves to not being able to go away for Christmas and plan a lovely visit after things are hopefully more normal.
You will worry if you have to leave your dear dog, (cat less of a problem) and would probably not enjoy your visit as you should.
Sending best wishes and hoping you resolve this problem.