When the time comes, be brave and stay with your pet- they need you there

This post has had me in tears as the time is getting close to saying goodbye to my doggy best friend. I have held 4 of my previous pets in my arms as they've left this life.
I couldn't imagine not being with them and holding them in my arms. x

I always stay with my animals (cats, dogs, horses) when they're euthanased.
My last beloved cat had kidney failure: as I held her, stroking her neck, I felt her heart stop. I can feel it now.
It's the last time I will have my hand near any major artery when I am with a companion animal who is making their journey towards eternal peace.

I have been with each of my pets as they were put to sleep. I couldn’t have left them alone. But it’s utterly heartbreaking and I dread doing it again (which sadly may be sooner rather than later )
I have always found the vets (all different) to be compassionate and caring.
What a lovely idea to light a candle and ask for respect. ?

Thanks Pammie1 for the beautiful poem. Having just recently had to have my beautiful 12year old darling dog put to sleep, reading it has given me great comfort. I stayed with her, whispering to her and cuddling her until her last breath. It was devastating.
She gave us so much love and pleasure over those years. I’m so glad we had her.

Germanshepherdsmum

I’m so sorry Cafe, I didn’t know and can’t imagine having to go through such a terrible experience. I apologise sincerely if my words caused extra hurt.?

No, that's okay, I just wanted to help people understand that it's not necessarily an uncaring owner who isn't present for the death of an animal.

This whole thread brought tears to my eyes. I cry when I have a rabbit put to sleep, I can't even begin to imagine saying goodbye to one of my dogs. Fortunately rabbits don't care one bit if I am there or not and my vet doesn't offer. I do like the idea of the home visiting vets that euthanise in your own home though. That seems like an ideal way for the pet.

I always stay till the very last breath. I cry all the way through it but couldn’t leave any pet or person to die on their own if I can help it.
I was a nurse and was present when quite a few patients passed.
I also sat holding my husbands hand till he died at only 57 . It has been 14 years since he went but I can remember it clearly .

I have stayed with all my pets when they died. Two are buried in our previous garden, And just 1 month ago my darling 18 year old Birman had to be put down. Although I was holding her close and we were looking each other, the vet said pro me, they don't close their eyes.So I was the last person she saw. We have buried her in our garden and I have planted a shrub which flowers in September, when she was born and October when she died. I have also planted spring bulbs around her as well. And my granddaughter has painted stones for her with her name, hearts and kisses which are by her side. Was sorry to hear your story crazyH but my vet sent a lovely card to us as she has been our vet for over 25 years and knew how much we have cared for our animals. We have 3 more "old " cats. Another who is 18 [her brother] and her son and daughter who are 15 years old.

My vet also lights a large candle in the waiting room when a pet is going to be put down. There is a note saying when the candle is lit can everyone show respect and be quiet. She also has a room which you can go into afterwards to just have a few minutes to regain yourself. Lovely idea.

I’m so sorry Cafe, I didn’t know and can’t imagine having to go through such a terrible experience. I apologise sincerely if my words caused extra hurt.?

Germanshepherdsmum

I just feel there is no ‘can’t’ in this situation hetty. They would be there for us and it is our final duty to them.

Have you ever held your dying or dead child in your arms? If you have, I hope you'd understand why some of us can't be sure we can deal with holding onto our pet while they die. I really do hope I can but I can't guarantee it. It may not serve them best to be held by an owner having flashbacks and a panic attack while they pass either.

Always been with my cats when the time comes apart from over many years one died in my lap and 2 unfortunately got knocked over and killed

Where I was brought up, in a remote part of the Highlands of Scotland, it wasn't customary to get the vet to euthanise terminally ill and aged pets, but to put them down oneself via a surreptitious shot through the back of the head with the family rifle or shotgun. Whilst it may offend modern sensibilities, it was an instantaneous and totally stress-free experience for the animal - if not for my father, who loved our dogs dearly, and for me when (in father's absence) I had to put a pet rabbit with myxomatosis out of its misery.

Over the past 35yrs, I've held every single pet that I've had to have put to sleep in my arms whilst the deed was done.
Their worlds revolved around me, I fed them, walked and played with them, chastised them when they were naughty but more than anything, I loved them.
I know only too well how hard it is to watch their eyes close and see their breathing slow and stop but they're or family members regardless of what some might think.
Would you walk away and leave your child to die with only strangers for company? I certainly wouldn't!
I remember each and every one of my furry and feathered babies (and I've had a lot more than most), it hurts like hell but at least I know that each and every one of them had the comfort of knowing that I was there talking to them, soothing them as they had their pain taken away forever.
Even writing this now, I'm thinking about/remembering the very first one I had to go through this with and I can't see the screen for all my tears.
I'm just grateful for the fact that in situations of great pain, suffering, etc, we are able to permanently take these awful things away from our pets, it's seeing our human relatives suffering from the same issues and knowing there's nothing we can do to take away their pain and suffering that really bothers me. I watched my grandfather suffer a new stroke every day for the last 6-7 weeks of his life and wished every day that the next one would be so severe that it would take his life and end his suffering, all because there was nothing anyone could do to help him and the whole family knew that he would never want to exist like that.
It's not right that we can help our pets but not our human families.

Germanshepherdsmum, we're all different, though. I have a friend who simply can't cope with much stress. In her case, I think she'd upset the animal more by her presence. Whether we're there in those final couple of minutes, after the jab, is assigned too much importance.

I lost my beloved rescue collie last year, we adored each other and I dreaded the coming of this day. She was put to sleep in the back of my car, a place she loved to be and I can still see her eyes pleading with me to let her go, she knew it was time after suddenly becoming ill and I stayed and looked into those loving eyes as we parted, it was very peaceful and I done right by her..

I just feel there is no ‘can’t’ in this situation hetty. They would be there for us and it is our final duty to them.

This concept is very upsetting for those who can't (or couldn't) stay with their pets at the end. It's basically calling them cowards. That's just cruel!

I stayed with mine - but I know that I'm calm in a crisis (I'll have my meltdown and sobbing session later).

People who can't face it are maybe wise to wait outside, don't you think? Animals have a sixth sense and often know how we're feeling.

What's far more important, surely, is how we love and care for them every single day that we're with them.

They don't know that they're dying. They have an overdose of anaesthetic, fall asleep, lose consciousness - and then their hearts stop beating.

I didn’t do the best job when our family was gathered around to say goodbye to our beloved dog . I’d arranged that the vet would come to us but he struggled to shave a spot for the injection and I let out a sob ,I know my beautiful girl was worried about me as she died and I’ll never forget that ….. I let her down and we were all devastated .
I’m steeling myself for the next time but I’m concerned that I will be the same .
Grief is the price of the undying love our pets bestow on us , it’s so hard when they leave.

I’m afraid I bottled out when our cat Bluey died. OH was overseas and my three Primary School age children were very distraught when I told them what was going to happen. They had known Bluey all their lives - we had her before my eldest was born. So, the Vet who was a good friend, took Bluey from me while I went home and waited. He wrapped her in a towel and brought her to the house. When two of our other cats had to be put to sleep, my younger son came with me. In fact for one of them he came back specially from London. Incidentally, when we were at the vets recently collecting some medication, I asked what happens if someone wants to stay with their pet while they are being put to sleep (the current system for any trip to the Vet is to wait in the car, ring them and they will come out to the car and collect the pet) and was told that they would go outside in their small garden…

I am very much in agreement with Chewbacca that 90% stay with their animals- I have with all of my cats. The worst was January of this year when I had to give a 10 minute talk to the vet identifying reasons to put Tara to sleep. It was obvious she was very ill because she had slid off the table and was lying stretched out on the floor. I did not shed a tear in the room because I did not want Tara feeling the vibes. Our animals loved us, it is only fair to be there at the end to give them some comfort.

I lay on the floor cuddling our last rescue dog and as the vet injected. I her last moments her she lifted her head up and licked my nose, gave a little wag of her twil and then died peacefully in my arms. It helped that she adored the vets wnd he and the head nurse who had seen her through her last illness came in on their day off to see her through her last hurdle. I will always be grateful to them for that and bereft though I was I am glad I had the courage to be with her.

Where does OP dig these things up from anyway?

Hetty58

Kali2, who exactly are Tricia Mo’orea and Jesse Dietrich? Why is the vet's name not even mentioned?

I simply don't believe the 90% thing, does anyone else? O don't know anyone who hust leaves a dying pet with the vet (except when Covid rules applied)

To me, it looks like the usual sick, fake, sentimental claptrap (not to mention misinformation) found everywhere on Twitter, to gain attention and masses of retweets (sorry).

I could not agree more!
There is indeed a sick, sentimental tone to this, which I found both offensive and patronising.
My heart broke when Hattie had to be PTS last March as she was incurably ill but mostly because having taken her to the vet hospital in Hertfordshire, because of Covid restrictions, I was not allowed to go back and be with her at the end.
Yes I felt that I had failed her at the end and did not need my nose rubbed in it in this sanctimonious way.
So for me it is not a lovely thread, as I think someone said upthread, but manipulative and cheap.

simply don't believe the 90% thing, does anyone else? Having worked in a veterinary practice myself the answer would have to be nope, I do not. I'd believe that 90% of pet owners stayed with their pets and 10% did not (for a whole raft of reasons). Maybe the OP got confused with the stats?

Hetty - I've never been invited to stay with my smaller pets when they are put to sleep (rabbits, but they don't care like a dog or cat might).

I want to be there when my dogs are eventually put to sleep but don't know how I will cope. I have PTSD, I can't even attend funerals. I didn't go to the funeral of my best friend's husband when I tried because I had a meltdown and couldn't leave the house. Fortunately, she understood.

Maybe a home visiting vet to do the job will make it easier. Hopefully a good few years before I have to face this decision though.