When the time comes, be brave and stay with your pet- they need you there

Sorry to hear you have been receiving nasty PMs Kali2. Dreadful behaviour. In all my years on GN.I received my first nasty pm from a particular poster a few days ago. Tiresome but I blocked her eventually.

I held our very old cat when the vet came to put her down. She held my eyes, and it was awful to see the light go out of them. This was years ago and I still miss her.

So many sad, moving, but beautiful stories of love.

Chewbacca, this was not meant to judge, just to share one vet's- and in my past experience, most vets' - experience that it does make a difference.

Josianne

I am not attacking you Kali2, I have never ever sent you an email. Just to be clear, I was doubting the 90% figure in your OP.
I have been with all my 6 dogs and 5 cats when they were pts. I am distraught that due to covid I couldn't with the last dog and 2 cats. I hope they still loved me.

I know you weren't- no worries. Good on you.

We've been with two of our dogs when they were put to sleep, and even took our other dog in to witness this as well. She died on the operating table a few years later and I was so sad that we couldn't be there for her at the end. She and I had a real bond. A lovely poem too Pammiel

babspanky Sorry for your loss. She was a pretty girl. I had a Stella too, PTS on my husband's 60th birthday

Our beautiful dog was really poorly and sadly died in my husbands arms - we wouldn’t have had it any other way - had we have had to go to the vets we would have been with him every step of the way

We had to get our beloved black Lab PTS last June, during lockdown, at the age of 13-and-a-half. I was distraught at the thought that we might not be able to be with him because of COVID (owners weren't allowed into vet surgeries at the time), but our vet, who we've been with for years, gave him the sedative injection in the back of our car, so he fell asleep with us holding him, then once he was totally asleep, the vet and vet nurse took him into the surgery for the final injection. It was the best compromise under the circumstances and was done with much dignity and respect.

I held my beautiful Pixie when she was euthanised at the age of 20.5 years old. Her breathing had got difficult and I knew that it was cruel for me to try and keep her going any longer. She had had diabetes for the last 9 years of her life. I used to inject her twice per day and feed her all the best food that she liked. It was hard the last week to get her to eat much but I put pet yogurt on my hand and watched as she careful licked it off. I couldn’t do anymore. I cried for days afterwards and often find myself in tears just thinking about her - that was 2 years old. I miss her so much. They leave their footprints on our hearts and they will be there forever.

She certainly would never have gone without me holding her close as she had given me all those years love - I was with her at the end. ? x

The last two dogs I lost were put to sleep at home in their favourite place, with my arms around them. I actually think (despite so many owners avoiding it), being together for that peaceful death is not only better for the animal, but also for the owner.

Friends of hours flew back early from their holiday abroad to be with their dying pet dog. The vet kept it alive until they got home, it was touch and go whether they would make it. The person who had been dog sitting was in pieces as it was so unexpected.

Many moons ago I used to work evenings and weekends in a veterinary practice, on behalf of the RSPCA. I remember that the vast majority carried their beloved pet into the surgery, stayed with them until the end and then took their pet home. We were completely used to, and totally empathised, with their grief because we knew that it's never an easy decision to make.
I can only recall a couple of pet owners who decided against staying with their pet and that was because, in both cases, they were too utterly distraught to do so. We didn't judge them for being uncaring or callous because we'd seen them come into the surgery week after week, month after month, paying far more than they could comfortably afford trying to get their pet well again.

Please don't judge those who, for whatever reason, weren't able to stay with their pet; it doesn't mean that they didn't love them just as much as you love yours.

Sorry I am in tears just reading this. I will never forget this post.

Some years ago my husband and I had to take our dearly loved Red Setter to be PTS. Husband was devastated because they'd been inseparable. I'd help it together until they shaved her paw, and my husband kissed her and said "goodbye old friend". When it was over we both sat in the car and sobbed. I couldn't even imagine just leaving one of our beloved pets at the vets without our love and support at the end of their lives.

I wish I hadn't read this. Our first cat, 18 years old, was put down in 2019, we were there. It was so quick and easy that when her sister had to be put down this year I thought I could imagine how it would go and she would be fine. Because of Covid we weren't allowed to be with her. So now I feel awful.

Definitely they should go at home where they are relaxed and with those they love and love them. We always do that, and it is possibly on the cards we shall have to make that difficult decision again by next year. I cannot understand anyone leaving a loved animal at the time they need you the most. We have had to make this decision so many times over the years, it’s heartbreaking for you but you must put your feelings aside and think of your dear pet.

I just lost my old lady, Stella on Saturday morning. She was at least 20 possibly 22-23. She hadn't been great all week and I knew the time was coming . Overnight on Friday she became very lethargic and wobbly on her feet, I stayed with her in the living room , dozing in the chair and talking to her till 6am then I went to bed till 8am and when I got up and said hello to her she wasn't very responsive at all. I picked her up and wrapped her in a fleece and cuddled her in my arms. I called my friend to take us to the vet but when she didn't arrive very quickly I called my neighbour (who Stella loved and she loved Stella too) We were just discussing going to the vet when Stelli started to spasm a little and finally gave a sigh and passed away. I knew the vet wouldn't have been able to help her but didn't want her to suffer but I am kind of glad that I didn't have to cart her off to the vet and disturb her and that she passed away in my arms.
I'm missing her but I hope the last years of her life were happy, I think they were. I got her in January 2019 and I was told then she was between 18 and 20. My only regret is that I didn't know her longer. It's so important to be there if you can.

My first ginger cat was pts with my DF there as I was only 12. Another ginger was run over so couldnt be with him either. Have always been with all my Furries & my dogs too when we had too let them go! Many tears for all of them & could not let them go without holding them. 9 cats, 4 dogs with them all at their end! Except the first two! Cannot understand anyone letting their pets go alone, very sad!

I am not attacking you Kali2, I have never ever sent you an email. Just to be clear, I was doubting the 90% figure in your OP.
I have been with all my 6 dogs and 5 cats when they were pts. I am distraught that due to covid I couldn't with the last dog and 2 cats. I hope they still loved me.

her, OR by pm.

Emma, whom we adopted aged 12 and had to pts a few months back, aged 15.5- was always very comfortable with going to vets. Due to Covid, the vet could not cross the border so we had to go there, and she was fine and the new vet (young Canadian woman) was wonderful and did it in 2 goes, first calming drug, then final. She was so so lovely and all the staff there too.

As we adopt older cats and dogs, or they adopt us, like Minou 3 legs now 5 years ago... we have been through the process 4 times since we moved here, Gadsby, Pudding, Slinky, Emma - Minou is going strong, about 6 years old, we will never know.

Witzend, yes, it is such a difficult decision to make- and sometimes we just wait a little too long as we can't bear the coming pain. And we learn, and realise that the kindest thing we can do, is to know 'when the time has come'- But it is indeed so hard.

Germanshepherdsmum

It seems that none of us on here need the advice given in this very upsetting thread. However if it’s made just one person who has passed by without comment do the right thing by their pet perhaps the sadness the thread has caused has been worthwhile.

Thank you Germanshepherdsmum - as said, I posted as I was so moved by this when posted by one of my DDs- whose dog we had to adopt due to circumstances, and she posted as she is so grateful we were there with him to the very end. It moved me, so I posted. Because as you say ...

It is heartwarming to see so many on GN saying how they stayed with their pet, and would not have ever considered leaving them to be pts. It's wonderful.

And of course it was not meant to tell people what to do... but to make people aware that even a very sick, very old dog, knows if you are not, and the vet in the OP sensed that, so often.

Sadly, there is a couple of people on GN who will attack me, and make really nasty comments, here on by pm. It's their problem, not mine, but it is such a shame.

Our last poor old dog (we’ve never had another) was PTS on the first anniversary of 9/11. The news was full of nothing else, but all I could think, was that the vet was coming at 3 pm.

Poor old dog was lying on the front lawn in the sun - and wagged her poor old tail when she saw the vet arriving. ?
I felt awful, but maybe she knew the vet was going to make her ‘better’. TBH we’d left it too long anyway - it’s such a dreadfully hard, horrible decision to have to make.

It’s always me who takes the dog to the vet my dh gets very emotional. Our Jack Russell was two years ago it broke my heart he was such a character and has not been replaced. We now have just one dog after twenty five years of always having two.