Coping with a stray

We took on a cat like that Greenfinch
She had never had a home. At first she just growled and spat when we came near her, so we just put food down in the garage (the only place she would go) after a few weeks she gradually moved into our house. She would want fuss but then turn round and bite and scratch us. We had Rosie for over 10 years and we all miss her so much! Over the years she became a big part of family - I think a woman must have treated her badly because she loved men. But right up until the end of her life she did the ‘please stroke me, that’s lovely - hiss, scratch meow’ it was just part of who she was. But we did warn children off her ! She used to follow my husband round like a dog. Keep going with her, no advice really other than let her do things on her terms. I’m sure it will be worth it, and she’ll love you to bits (only secretly though! 😂)

Sorry, he’s a him not a her!

My only advice is that it takes a long time and semi feral cats never completely adjust and loose their wild instincts. Having said that they usually become very loving (on their own terms) and very lovable if handled with care, and in extreme cases, motor cycling gauntlets.

I've had ferral cats before .
I'd put food and drink out for them and made a comfortable place for them to sleep in outside .
One of my cats only liked women and used to attack men drawing blood .
I had a dog like that too .
It takes them a very long time to trust humans .
Is this cat still intact or has it been neutered ?

An un - neutered male can be very aggressive and so can a late neutered Tom .
I used to pet mine wearing a thick quilted apron and oven gloves and still got clawed .
I think that ferral cats can't deal with the pleasure of being stroked .

My uncle adopted a cat that had been living at the garden centre where he worked. It would come and settle on your lap and purr but hated to be touched - it was really difficult to avoid stroking it when it was on your lap!

I'd suggest if your stray is looking to be stroked, only give him one or two strokes and stop before he gets excited. Watch for the warning signs and get to know them. Otherwise just let him set the pace.

Move out of range when the claws come out and say No, kindly but firmly.

Most cats, whether feral or not, never quite get the fact that humans have much thinner skin than they have, and what the cat means as an affectionate gesture actually hurts us. (If it is an affectionate gesture, that is, it might mean, "That's enough for now of the soppy stuff!")

Thank you very much to everyone who has replied.There is so much good advice here and plenty of ideas which I will follow up. Our little chap is an un neutered male and we think he is very young. We can’t have him inside as we have a very elderly,nervous rescue cat so we have opened up the summerhouse and I was lucky enough to obtain a warm KatDen via Freecycle.He seems to prefer me and gets round my legs all the time wanting a fuss but then becoming quite aggressive. Hopefully things will improve in the future.

What is happening is that you are overstimulating him. Limit the amount of hands on you give him. It is better to give less.

I learned that lesson with my little stray, she got so overstimulated that she would sink her teeth into me😮. So I learned very quickly to watch her mood. Now we have it more or less cracked , but very occasionally I overstep the mark and she gives me a quick bat with her paw!

Even if you don't bring him in he needs neutered and vet checked. You can borrow a trap if you can't lift him.

Agree with Kircubbin - could you get him neutered and a check up with your vet? If not neutered he might go on the razzmatazz and impregnate stray females. However it may help to calm him. I wish we had another cat but DH was very upset when she was PTS due to old age and a stroke.

Thanks again for the advice. I will follow it up.

Whitewavemark2

What is happening is that you are overstimulating him. Limit the amount of hands on you give him. It is better to give less.

I learned that lesson with my little stray, she got so overstimulated that she would sink her teeth into me😮. So I learned very quickly to watch her mood. Now we have it more or less cracked , but very occasionally I overstep the mark and she gives me a quick bat with her paw!

Absolutely right! I learned this lesson too.

We once had a female cat who was a complete little tart with men. If any male arrived in the house she would immediately make her way over to him in a very 'Hello boys' way! She put up with me but loathed my daughter. DH and DS were adored by her.
Such a character. I still miss her.

I am resisting the temptation to go out into the garden as I know he will run straight up to me and I want to follow the advice and be less hands-on. The strange thing is I am not really a cat person and DH has always looked after and made a fuss of ours. I wish I was not so popular!

This is a common behaviour in cats, hence the word ‘catty’. I’ve known several cats, in loving homes from early kittenhood, who turn and lash out when stroked. They usually mellow with age.

My Mr Cooper had been feral (truly feral, not a stray). It was years before he sat on my lap. He once bit me so badly that I had to have a Tetanus jab and a week's worth of antibiotics, but he became the most gentle, lovely cat I'd ever had.

My current cat was a stray until I took him in, a year ago. He loves being stroked - but only for as long as he feels like it. He occasionally digs his claw into my hand if I dare to stroke him for longer than he wants, but I try to read his signals - ears back, a certain expression in his eyes. Also, stray/feral cats often have broken or decaying teeth, which, obviously, causes them pain.

Oh yes, that wild gleam in the eyes and the ears going back😲
Even a soppy cat we once had did that, he’d roll on his back to have his tummy stroked, seem to enjoy it and purr until bam!

Our little stray keeps peeping in through the window at night but hasn’t got used to his KatDen yet though he has been known to sit in front of it.

Most cats dislike being touched on their bellies - the area can be sensitive to them. When a cat rolls onto it's back, it's a sign that it is relaxed and trusts you (unlike dogs who enjoy the rubs). There is always the odd exception - my brother once had a cat that liked to be vacuumed.

That’s good. This cat rolls on his back all the time whereas our rather overweight rescue cat never does.