Why does my cat not like me?

I used to have a large female cat who had a favourite armchair. If she came in while you were sitting on it she used to run up the back of the chair and bash you on the head with her claws out. If you didn't move she would wriggle onto the chair behind you, lie on her side and push you with all four of her paws. We soon learned to get up before the head bash took place.

ArthurMann

My cat loves my wife, but not me. I feed her, try to engage and play with her, but I am just getting nothing back. It does upset me a bit because my wife is so connected to he,r and I'm not. If anyone knows why, that would be interesting to know.

I suspect the cat does not love you because she knows perfectly well you do not love her.

You are just a very humble servant , so should be invisible. Don't keep drawing attention to yourself.

Cats do what they want, when they want. It's quite funny really and why a lot of us love them for it.

Very well put Desdemona. I couldn't agree more.

Cats are fickle beings.

I have a female cat, 6 years old. I live with my 2 daughters and I do most of the feeding etc, but she ignores me and saves her affection for them.

They went away for a few nights recently and she followed me around like a little dog, slept on my bed - and when I came in from work one day she looked at me with a look of excitement and love I have never seen from any living thing (ex husbands included!)

Not sure what point I am trying to make - cats do what they want, when they want. It's quite funny really and why a lot of us love them for it.

I rescued a cat 18 mo the ago, and he rarely comes near me ,unless it's to ask for food. Any other time I try to smooth him he runs away.and ignores me

Mine has turned into a bit of a bully to me. As soon as he comes on he tries to bite me. Then when I feed him he waits for seconds and if I don't give them he follows me and nips me.Im allowed to pet his ears but any further he reacts.

It maybe that you are unpredictable. When you put your hand out towards her keep your fingers completely still. Let her come to you and rub her face on your hand.,My husband was brought up with dogs who are more robust. He used to put his hand out to her, she’d start to come over, but then he got impatient and moved his fingers to encourage her. She used to back away then. Put a couple of treets on the floor near to your chair to encourage her.DONT vein a rush.

I rescued a very nervous ginger cat. He was in very poor condition when he arrived, very thin with a nasty abscess on his tail.

He used to flatten himself if you put your hand anywhere near his head and he spent two years hiding in a cardboard box in the spare bedroom when he was not outside.

After two years I acquired a tortoiseshell kitten and ginger fell in love with her at first sight. The two became inseparable and ginger became much more sociable. He loved to have his tummy tickled but never got over not wanting his head touched. I often wondered what previous trauma he must have suffered.

I think MadamP has the best suggestion.

I've got a bipolar cat. She's either all over me or hiding under the bed and hissing every time I try and stroke her.

One day she'll surprise you and jump up on your lap purring.

I received a cat on my 5th birthday. He loved me and mum but didn't like my dad or brothers. He lived until he was 17. The day before he died he went and sat on my dad's knee.
And tried to cuddle my younger brother. (Eldest had moved out by then)

Every birthday I received a bird or mouse.

We rescued 2 kittens dropped at the farm gate in a sack, brought them indoors and gradually tamed them. One is super friendly and demands strokes and cuddles but the other will not be touched.
She sleeps on the bed at nights, eats her food, curls in front of the fire - but will not be touched..
We did manage to catch her and take her to be speyed but since then she's had no injections or vet attention. Flea or worming treatments are prescribed for her tame sister and doubled up to include her.
All the slow blinks in the world are ignored, even food is ignored until we've walked away from the bowl. I worry about what we'll do when they reach old age and need medical attention - how will we get her to the vet's?

Bennydian

People who dont like cats tend to narrow their eyues when seeing the cat. The cat sees this as a greeting.
Try narrowing your eyes and slow blinking and walking away.
I would be interested to hear if it works for you.

Yep...I'd heard that one re the slow blinking and the neighbours-cat-that-loved-me used to do quite a lot of slow blinking at me and I slow blinked back.

WelshPoppy

You have to realise that it's not your cat, you're it's human slave.

I was just going to say something similar!

People who dont like cats tend to narrow their eyues when seeing the cat. The cat sees this as a greeting.
Try narrowing your eyes and slow blinking and walking away.
I would be interested to hear if it works for you.

NannyJan53

My brother and SIL had a cat many years ago. It wouldn't let anyone fuss it or get near it!

When SIL went to Hospital to give birth, my children and I went to the house first so we could go with brother to visit the new born.

The cat was all over us, wanting to be fussed etc. It is as if she knew something different had happened and competition was coming?

I had a cat before my marriae. She became 'our ' cat and was affectionate towards us both. Then my husband fell in love with a kitten which a friend's cat had birthed. We decided to bring him home. I carried him into the house and my original cat was not happy. She hissed and spat at me and refused to come near me for months. The new kitten spent his evenings curled up round my neck while the older cat spent her time on my husband's lap.
Soon after I became pregnant with my 1st child. One day, out of the blue, our older cat leapt up on my lap for the first time in months. While she was there I felt my daughter move for the first time. I'm convinced that the cat knew something was changing again and she decided it was time to forgive me! During the time I was being rejected, the two cats became firm friends, and regularly slept curled up together. Cats definaitely have their own agendas and will clearly express their feelings, but they can change their minds!

Magenta8

*Danma*, Colls and SaxonGrace noooooo!

It is difficult to explain to people who prefer dogs but a cat's warped personality is part of its charm.

a cat's warped personality
😂

One to remember!

I played with my daughter's female cat with a teaser wand (stick with hanging ribbon on the end) for ages this afternoon. Cat still won't let me pick her up. She doesn't let anyone pick her up except DD, not daughter's partner, no-one.

A new neighbor came to visit. My cat immediately sat on her knee and acted as if she was infatuated with neighbor. The neighbor did not like cats! This proves what many said above. They cannot tolerate being ignored!

pably15

Madmeg

Must add that younger DD has had the current cat for about 13 years, living in three different houses. In the first two homes the cat was permanently nervous, peeing in odd places and quite a worry. Then they moved to their current home and the cat has been as happy as Larry! They have no idea why.

maybe the owners of the first 2 houses had other animals and the cat would smell the scent.

Another take on this is that, I gather, cats are more sensitive than many to negative energies in a house (try asking a dowser if there are negative energy lines going through your house). Apparently they like them I gather.

We have 9 cats. 6 male & 3 female.
Females are moody & territorial, don't mix with each other or males.

Males are usually more affectionate, ours are. 6 of them sit on my partner or surround him.
1 of the females follows me everywhere.

Cats choose their person, it's not personal. My partner had never lived with cats but all the males adore him.

Remember that we own dogs and cats own us! All the cats I have ever had have always done their own thing, and have had rescue cats, and a cat that needed a home after being in a cattery, and a feral cat All sorts of cats, but the rule remains. So if you can find it I would read an old book called the Silent Miaow, by Paul Gallico who wrote the Snow Goose. A good read to get into some of the cat attitudes. Then you will find that no cat likes being laughed at , or being seen making a mistake. One cat I had made a misjudgement on a leap and fell to the floor. She wasnt hurt, but somewhat furious about humans seeing her. She sat with her back to us swishing her tail and ears back for quite some time! So they seem aware of your trying too hard and are quite contrary animals. So one you might try is buying a catnip mouse, which most cats love and its like an addiction to them. If you are the catnip mouse holder you will get their attention. Then dont approach them head on but sit sideways to them and try twirling some wool or strip of thin material for them to catch and play with. Alternatively , as they can be contrary, do not look directly at them, take a seat and basically ignore them. That usually means they decide to come and visit. Enjoy your slavery to a cat. I have always found it worth while

Remember Dogs have owners, who should act as Top Dog.
Cats on the other hand have staff.
Perhaps the cats don’t approve of some of the employees enrolled by H R.

Try looking on YouTube, lots of tips on bonding and what cats really like and what puts them off.

Our tom cat is more connected to my husband and more loving. We both feed hin and give him attention but he prefers my husband.

Since I've been convalescing following operation he has sat/slept next to me/on me while I'm on the sofa. He still prefers my husband though.

I once read that cats are always drawn to people that don’t like cats because they don’t look at them. So if you hate cats and visit a house with a cat it will choose to go and sit on your lap.