Euthanasia of elderly dog

Margomar can you book an appointment with the same vet you spoke to before?
I think I'd try to do that.
💐

I was a vet nurse and this dilemma came up all the time. Considering the agonies it causes pet owners I wonder how we will cope with legalised euthanasia of our old parents?
There is no easy way to tell when it’s time to say goodbye but you must put your old dog first, not hang on too long because you can’t face it.
And when you do, have the courage to stay with him, preferably at home.
It’s not quantity of life which matters to animals, it’s quality.

watermeadow, I’m sure the majority of us know when the time has come for our pets, as we will if ever in the awful place where in discussion with loved ones and medics we decide whether life should be maintained despite the absence of any quality. I’ve been there with my mum and my husband. It’s very similar, you put the person first. Not anything else

I’ve never felt any guilt about any of my pets that were euthanised at home, only the ones that were pts at the surgery. So I think pre planning is important for both us and our pets ( I do understand that it isn’t always possible). And it’s important to take away the thought that incontinence etc is making keeping the pet alive tiring and upsetting; put that totally on one side and just look at the dog or cats quality of life.

It is the hardest decision to make but we mustn't think of ourselves but the dog. It is such a privilege to have a loyal companion but with that privilege comes the burden of having to make the right decisions for them. Animals are adept at covering their pain up as they would have to do if they were wild. I've made the decision 4 times and I never got any easier. Each decision was awful but felt I had to make the decision sooner rather than later so none of them suffered. I was heartbroken each time but it is the price we have to pay.
It might sound harsh but I actually feel he is thinking of his own feelings rather than the welfare of his beloved dog.
My heart goes out to you as you are in the middle of this. You might have to just stand your ground and say if he wants the dog to carry on he must do all he cleaning up. Thinking of you in this difficult situation.

I've had to have horses, dogs and cats pts. It's never been easy except with two horses who were in so much pain and distress tbh I would have done it myself. I've always told myself it's the price we pay for the privilege of having animals in our life and my last act of care for them. I think most owners know when it's time which is why vets are reluctant to give an opinion. Sending a hug I absolutely know how sad it is to say goodbye to an old friend.

My dd is and has been devoted to all the dogs.she has had over the years. She told me that she had discussed the subject with her friend who was also a dog lover. My dd said when we have a puppy we intend to give them the best life we can. It’s also our responsibility to give them the best death as well.

It is such a tough decision to make.
Perhaps a vet visit together? I also found this useful in putting the heart and head in the right place. Big hugs xhttps://www.lapoflove.com/quality-of-life-assessment

my heart goes out to you. The ultimate end of life decision does not come easy but most vets would suggest that the animal will give out signals .
would your other half agree with a trip to the vets to assess the quality of life ?

I think your husband is being unreasonable. Of course it's a horrible sad situation to be in, but as the dog is incontinent I don't think things should be allowed to continue on in that way. It's not fair for you to have to keep cleaning up after him either. The poor creature has kidney and respiratory problems and who knows if he is in pain. I think he should be euthanised very soon.

It's a sad time but I agree with those who are saying a day too soon is better than a day too late. I've had two very special dogs PTS, the first at 17 was also incontinent at times and couldn't climb stairs to sleep in my room. My mother had him for a while as she lived in a bungalow but we felt the time had come and gave him a big unhealthy dinner that he loved and then to the vet. It was calm and painless. The next was a rescue dog I only had for six years and I left it too long, which I still regret, I think he was in pain. Even if the dog is not obviously suffering yet it may be time as they can't tell us how they feel and if you stay calm it isn't traumatic for them, especially if you can get a home visit.

Do what is needed..If the dogs life is misserable..Its not fair..And it wont get better..we did it he was 17....yes it was awful.I now have a 4 month old bundle of energy..He has helped the pain...Not a replacement.But a tiny bundle of love and affection.xx..

Very difficult.
I would try to honestly assess how the difficultes you are experiencing are influencing your thoughts.
If there was no inconvenience / difficulty, would your feelings change?

Be very careful to get that right because your lovely dog deserves to live out his life to the full and not to suffer.
Your husband will not want his dog to suffer so will see when it is time. Is he in denial? consider that he is not.

You just need to be sure that the practical difficulties you have are not influencing your thoughts. You have to be certain because your husband will struggle if you push too hard while he feels the dog is not at that stage yet.

Watermeadow,
"And when you do, have the courage to stay with him, preferably at home."

Yes! Yes!

The hardest and most loving thing we ever do for our pets

Difficult situation.......

I know my mother set me up one time to get the message over to my father re the dog. She decreed all four of us were going out for a walk and was, so I can see now, relying on me to notice that the dog started off walking in the usual way (waggy tail/looking around with interest/etc) and then got slower and slower and iller and iller as I watched and I could see she was struggling noticeably and trying to walk enthusiastically (as she always had to my knowledge).

Cue for I did notice - and it was then up to me to say to him that his dog was clearly trying to continue as normal....but was feeling too ill and not enjoying herself any longer. So he did take her to the vet at that point - but couldnt bring himself to take her into the surgery and the neighbour he'd taken with him had to do so and report back to him.

Not an easy situation all round...

Someone reported me to the RSPCA years ago for my elderly collie with kidney failure and a head tilt due to a stroke. They came and said the dog was in the best condition they had seen a dog that weeks god knows what the others were like. She was on a low protein diet with 6 small meals a day boiled chicken and rice. As she walked she wet herself. The RSPCA advised me to put her down as the end would be very bad, ie headaches and fits. I was hoping she would just go to sleep and not wake up but he said no that's not what happens. Best wishes and hugs xx x

Had dogs over many years and just couldn't watch them suffer no matter how much I knew I would miss them. Animals in general will carry on until they basically can't get up even though they are suffering. Involve your vet, try to go with DH and dog and get an overview of what your dog will be experiencing due to all his ailments. Your DH is perhaps not really taking on board how much discomfort the dog is living with. Afraid I'd be upfront with DH asking if he'd like to live with same problems and losing control of bodily functions.

Just remember the vet looses a customer when you euthanase your dog.

crazyH I just don’t know what has happened to the vets of today, I have no respect for many of them. ££££££ that’s is all they are concerned with.

My DD had her elderly Shih Tzu euthanised this morning - liver failure - so very sad day for us all today.

You are between the devil and the deep blue sea, here.

You have all my sympathy.

The decision to have a much loved pet put to sleep is hard.

Horribly hard, and for you it is complicated badly by the fact that your husband does not feel the time has come.

(Mine always left the decision to me, and funked that last visit to the vet too, although he did, as long as he was able, dig graves for the cats. I thought it was hard having to make the arrangements and weep all over the vet's consulting room alone, but I realise now that I could have been in an even worse place).

I suggest you phone the vet and say that the medication is doing no good, and that you feel that the time has come, but your husband still thinks the dog has some quality of life and "that we are not there yet". The vet might be able to suggest different treatment. (Some hope!)

The dog enjoys his walks - is this so, or does he go to please Master? Does the dog enjoy his food, or pick at it? If the answer to these questions is negative, the vet might well concur in your judgement, but would he then be willing to assess the dog and discuss things with your husband?

Only you know if your husband will be relieved if you put your foot down and tell him the dread time has come, or will upbraid you (afterwards) for murdering his dog.

Could you fake an attack of sciatica or "a bad back" so convincingly that any "accidents" are left until DH is home and deals with them? That might change his mind, said she nastily.

I couldn't agree more that you might find your vet's advice useful in these circumstances.
Our marvellous vet was compassionate but professional and decisive when the time came.
Good Luck.
My heart goes out to you.

With over 60 years of dog owning I am familiar with the agonising decision of having a dog euthanised. But, in consultation with your vet, you know when that is the right decision and the kindest one. I chose to have the vet come to the house so that the dog could be in her own environment (usually on her own bed) rather than in the stressful surroundings of the vet's surgery.

When my Rotty had to be put to sleep the vet cried with us, and after another sweet dog of ours years later got to the end I was hysterically crying. The vets gave me huge hugs and sympathy . Compassion goes a long way . The joy of having a dog inevitably leads to the heartache of losing them.