Pet grief

Hopes

I had to put my dog to sleep 3 weeks ago and I am completely lost without him. I don't want to be at home anymore because the house is so empty without him. My friends do not seem to care. One of them told me to get busy with my work or to join a gym! I don't know how to move forward. Any thoughts anyone?

Three weeks is no time, be kind to yourself. This grief can not be understood only by fellow dog lovers who have been through it probably multiple times. Accept it and day by day things will ease. Do try and find some different routines to follow, so much easier to say than do however all you can do is try.

No, I don't think you need to join a gym or get busy with work. The grief I have had when losing a beloved furry friend has lasted decades. The only thing that someone told me that made me feel better is telling me what a wonderful life I gave them. So true that dogs live such short lives compared to us, humans. So true that they fill a huge void in our human lives. So nice the joy they bring us and the joy we bring them. Celebrate in knowing the love you shared. I am so sorry for your sadness. I do understand. It's okay and yes, it is normal.

Pets become family. Those without pets or that connection simply don’t understand.

Only time can help grief, it never leaves you but it does lessen the pain and eventually you learn to live with it.

So sorry for your loss 🩷🥀 🐾🐾

So sorry you no longer have your companion. Three weeks is not long but you will heal ....... in time. Give yourself that time. Thinking of you.

I'm very sorry about your dog .
It is so painful.
I'm afraid that if someone hasn't had a beloved pet then they aren't sympathetic .
I can't even bear to look at photos of the dogs that I've lost .
People can be so callous .
Someone at church told me that I'd had enough time to get over the death of my father a short time after he passed .

I totally understand how you feel. I still have my little miniature schnauzer"s coat (which she hated with a passion) hanging in the hall. She died five years ago and we now have another little schnauzer. Totally different but just as loving.
Be kind to yourself, sending you a big, dog lover hug.

So very sorry for the loss of your precious pet. It is so very hard. I lost my beloved girl (Daisy) 2 years ago next month and I still grieve for her. However 10 months ago I adopted another rescue girl (Maisy) (I didn't name either) She is a great joy and I adore her, she helps fill the house with life and love. I rescued her and she rescued me. I have had 5 rescue dogs over many years and each one has brought so much life and joy with them.

It is so hard Hopes I know and understand your feelings. People who don't have pets often underestimate how much they are part of our lives. Take time to come to terms with your loss, sadly there is no quick fix. Queen Elizabeth was spot on when she said grief is the price we pay for love.

I’m just so sorry for the loss of your pet Hopes, I’ve been through it several times and it never gets any easier. I keep all our dogs’ and cats’ collars in a lovely wooden box. Our last cat died two years ago and it’s taken all that time for DH to agreed to having another one. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself and maybe, for a while, just see the friends who you think will understand.

My heart goes out to you. We have deeply grieved when each of our d8gs have died. Our last rescue was 16 and as my husband couldn't be there a close friend who isn't keen in dogs came to be with me. In the 35 years she had known me despite me going through some very hard times she had never seen me cry. She was shocked when she saw me break down and sob, I still think of her.
It took us years to get over her but 8 years back we saw a rescue
who we felt really needed us. She has brought joy back into our lives and as my health isn't good she gives me the impetus to get up and take a walk.
It is difficult for none dog owners to understand the pain.x

I would never underestimate the loss of a beloved pet, they leave a void in the life of the owner, more so as we get older I think.

I remember reading the words of Ben Fogle regarding owning a dog, "they only break your heart once" that brought tears to my eyes. I'm sorry for your loss, I don't think your friends have much in the way of animal empathy. Maybe another pet when you feel ready for that

I’m so sorry for you losing a pet it’s such an awful grief. I lost my cat over 2 years ago and still miss her a lot. I have several photos of her on my bedroom window sill which I find very comforting . I also carry her collars around in my handbag and like knowing I have them with me.

Your friends are rubbish and unfeeling . Do whatever helps you. I did get two sibling cats a few months afterwards but they in no way replace my beautiful Amie.

My heart goes out to you

No wise words Hopes, just I do understand. Each pet is unique and irreplaceable. I do know in time it will get easier and there's so many lovely dogs out there looking for a kind home, each unique in their own way.

So sorry- three weeks after loosing a pet I am still weepy and experiencing the empty house feeling, but I know from experience that grief receeds.

It takes me a year after loosing a cat before I start going broody at the sight of a kitten and know I am ready for the next cat in my life.

We are all different, so I can't say how long it will be before you want another dog.

Do you have friends with dogs? It might help a bit to be with another dog now and again.

Any clubs where friendly dogs are brought to visit those who love them, but cannot have one?

Might volunteering in an animal shelter or helping out at a boarding-kennel be a possibility?

Or going for a walk in the park and chatting to other dog owers and their dogs?

I think losing a pet is a very particular kind of grief which a lot of people may dismiss due to a lack of expereince in this regard.

However, I know people who have lost pets and have been remarkably unsentimental about it, in some ways less that I was having known their pets for years.

I think your OP's friends are crass and dimissive, also inappropriate suggesting you join a gym etc!

Being in your home seems to be difficult for you with your pet no longer there. I can understand that feeling but ask yourself what you can do to retain a little of your pet's presence? Maybe a photograph corner? A little box for stuff that reminds you of him? That way you can 'keep' a little token of them. I kept my cat's name tag for years, for example, in my dresser and would take it out sometimes and remember how special she was to us all.
I think it is important to have this kind of focus, and cry as much as you want over the loss. Only by dealing with the grief will you begin to heal.

I have the utmost sympathy and am so sorry for your loss.

In my opinion, the loss of a pet can equal the loss of a human (even exceed it.) Animals are non-judgemental and loving.

Take care of yourself, think lovingly of your dog and how you enhanced each others lives. Maybe in the future you could get another dog, not to replace the dog you had but to have another great doggy relationship.

When my pet passed on I had a star named after her (maybe a bit extreme!!) Sometimes I look up and the night sky and think of happy times - quite a few years on.

So sorry for the loss of your dear dog Hopes. I loved my granddog very much and couldn’t believe how much I missed him when he died suddenly a few years ago.

It's very hard, especially if you had to make that decision, which would have been for the best fr him, Hope.

They do leave a big hole and it's understandable you still feel lost. It's early days yet, take your time.

💐

Time unfortunately is the only healer. An empty house and a friend to welcome you home are difficult. How can your friends be so uncaring. They obviously have never been in that position. 3 weeks is nothing. With me, it took months.

I'm sure your friends care about you, but if they've never lost a dog it is difficult to understand just how lost it makes you feel. And people don't know what to say about bereavements generally, what can you say? Other than how sorry you are.

Our dogs are always there, they are the one constant, & they are so loyal and loving. Everyone copes differently but I'm sure there are many on here who understand the heartache.

It will pass eventually, don't beat yourself up still being devastated after three weeks, it's only natural.

Hopes, I’m so sorry to read about your poor boy. He obviously meant the world to you and your friends comments was rather crass and unfeeling.
Hold the memories close and know that you gave him a wonderful home. 💐

So sorry, Hopes.
How old was he?
Was he very frail?
It's a very difficult decision to make.
But he was much loved by you.