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Cat now living elsewhere

(66 Posts)
Gill33 Wed 13-Jan-21 15:59:38

I wrote on here a few weeks ago about my daughter’s cat disappearing for days or even weeks at a time. Her cat had kittens so for a while she stayed home with them but when they grew a little older they disappeared as well! I managed to find out where she had been going as one of the people whose door I knocked on in my search rang my daughter to say they were on a neighbour’s conservatory roof. I had already been to this house and told by the occupant that he hadn’t seen them.
We went round to see the man who reported seeing them on this roof and lo and behold they were my daughter’s cat with 3 kittens. We managed to get them down with the occupants help.
My daughter decided not to let the kittens out with the mum as she didn’t want them going with her again.
The discussion my daughter had with this man was rather strange. He claimed she just came round as they kept their doors and windows open. My daughter asked if he fed her when he said no but his son may have done. Whenever the cat returned home she was always well fed.
He occasionally text her to say she was there and then when my daughter picked her up he said ‘ By the way she doesn’t like being picked up like that.’ My daughters thoughts were ‘Well she is my cat!’
Over time the cat very rarely came by home and when she did she tried to attack the kittens ( my daughter was keeping two). She also seemed to sneer at the daughter before going off again.
We haven’t seen her for a few weeks now as she obviously doesn’t want to live with my daughter . However she came into the garden the other day and totally ignored us when we tried to call her. We noticed that she was now very overweight.
We feel now she’s not my daughter’s cat any more as she’s chosen to live elsewhere but it’s sad to see her so big now.

kircubbin2000 Wed 13-Jan-21 16:10:42

My vets cat did this because she hated her brother. I was in the waiting room one day and remarked what a lovely cat the next patient had. It was the vets cat who had decided to live with her.

Auntieflo Wed 13-Jan-21 16:11:48

Had you thought that the cat may be pregnant again?

GagaJo Wed 13-Jan-21 16:14:36

I had a cat that did this. I had 4 cats and he obviously didn't want to share, even though he was the youngest, newest addition. He was about 4 when he moved. Once a month or so he would come back to visit, but never wanted to stay. If I shut him in he would get very agitated and would escape at the first opportunity. Once time he came back, he had been to the vets and had a surgical wound that was shaved and stitched. So he had a nice new family.

Delila Wed 13-Jan-21 16:15:01

Could she be pregnant again?

We had two separate cats who left home, one after I’d given birth to my first child. This cat had been extremely close to me throughout my pregnancy. She returned occasionally & briefly, and we tried to persuade her to stay, but she didn’t seem able to accept a baby in the house. We knew where she had moved to and that she was well cared for.

The second cat, years later, moved out when we got a dog. Dog and cat had a calm relationship, but our cat wouldn’t stay. We tried and tried to find him after he left but eventually gave up.

Two years later he reappeared. Walked into the house, checked everything, was really affectionate, then left for good. We still had the dog.

We’ve had other cats and dogs and children over the years, and all have lived in harmony.

Whitewavemark2 Wed 13-Jan-21 16:29:01

We had a pure white cat years ago “snowy toes” who after we moved from Devon to Sussex moved out and across the road to an elderly lady. He grew enormous living off the fat of the land, no wonder he moved out as clearly cat food wasn’t good enough in our house.

But the lady adored him and we were reconciled to his rejection of us.

EllanVannin Wed 13-Jan-21 16:43:39

The oldest cat I have had wandered from the next road where he belonged and its owner put him on the " missing " list online. On seeing the picture I rang the owner and told her that the cat kept coming here. Although the woman told me not to feed it she made no attempt to collect him and take him and there it ended about 6/7 years ago and he's still here.

One thing though, the cat had a red collar ( no name ) which I'd left on him because he wasn't mine but a few months later he'd had the collar removed when he came in after his usual walkabout. I believed there were a few cats living at the house so maybe he felt pushed out.

Gill33 Wed 13-Jan-21 17:04:16

She’s definitely not pregnant as my daughter managed to get her spayed after the kittens were born ! It just seems a bit sad she’s so overweight but there’s nothing we can do about it.

cornishpatsy Wed 13-Jan-21 17:55:38

I am a cat person and like the way that they decide where to live however it is sad when they choose somewhere else.

MiniMoon Wed 13-Jan-21 19:29:25

A cat turned up at my DD's back door. My DD did not encourage her, but the DGC did! She looked hungry so they gave her some kitchen scraps. She became a regular visitor, and has now moved in.
DD did find out who the cat belongs to, and spoke to the owner who was disappointed that her cat had moved out and was living elsewhere, but she also understood that things had changed in her household, her last child has left for university. Perhaps the cat needed the company od children.
DD told the cat's owner that she is welcome to visit her whenever she would like to.

GagaJo Thu 14-Jan-21 07:49:11

Not my cat (and not my house either) but funny.

Whitewavemark2 Thu 14-Jan-21 07:57:19

That’s one thing with dogs, they stick with you through thick and thin.

Santana Thu 14-Jan-21 08:18:19

Cats are free spirits, so you never really own them, they just decide to stay.
We used to get a 'stealth' cat that sneaked in through the cat flap, and we only heard him when his collar hit the food bowl.
As one of our cats was dopey, we couldn't change to a magnetic flap because he was afraid of the click it made.
Eventually we discovered that 'Squeak' was in fact a rather grand Gabriel who used to be a stray and was used to sneaking in to steal food. Young mum was distraught as he was much loved and well looked after. We never solved it, they moved away, and that was that!

Jackiesue Thu 14-Jan-21 09:34:25

The cat should be spayed. Perhaps her new owners will realise this.

Bossyrossy Thu 14-Jan-21 09:40:11

A dog would never do this. They are faithful even in death, as in the case of Grey Friars Bobby.

GreyKnitter Thu 14-Jan-21 09:42:23

I think cats are very much independent and do just as they please!!! We have 2 half Bengal cats, now nearly a year old which we adopted at 7 months when their previous owner found them too much to handle! They are brother and sister, now both spayed and very different characters. The male is very loving and gentle while his sister is much more fiesty and def in possession of cattitude! Now they go out, they both need to keep coming back every half an hour or so just to check we’re still here I think and to see if there is anything else to eat - they are well fed honestly. I’m sure that if any of the neighbours fed them they would love them too and possibly move out!

Mohum Thu 14-Jan-21 09:47:37

We adopted a "stray". Several weeks later the owner turned up. It transpired that they had got a new scary dog. They let us keep the cat who would have only come back to us anyway. She lived to a ripe old age. Nowadays, microchips are more common so we could have found where she came from.

micky987 Thu 14-Jan-21 10:02:38

About 15years ago there was a stray cat who lived in our outbuildings. She’d never come near us even though we tried for a few years. One day I looked out of the window and she was walking up to our back door with a kitten’s scruff in her teeth. She dropped it at the back door and trotted back to the outbuildings. A minute later, same thing with another kitten until there were 4 kittens at the back door. I didn’t know if she was showing us what a clever proud mum she was or that she needed help to feed them but she let us stroke them. After a few weeks of this they all hung around the house but over a short time period 3 of them disappeared but one stayed. We kept ‘Belch’ as a house cat. Some years later when my DD moved out she claimed Belch as hers and took her with her and they both settled in nicely. But Belch started disappearing for a few days at a time. When DD drove past an Indian neighbour’s house she saw Belch on their doorstep and stopped to talk to the lady living there. Apparently Belch loved Indian food which she said she regularly gave her and Belch eventually moved in with them! Obviously tasty Indian food is far more superior than the standard Gourmet she was getting at DD’s. 😂🤣😂

Leah50 Thu 14-Jan-21 10:06:31

We had a rescue cat for years who disappeared early every evening coming home late at night. She ignored the food I put down as she got thoroughly spoiled at the local pub.

kazziecookie Thu 14-Jan-21 10:23:17

We have a neighbourhood cat that has shared herself around several houses in our close for years. She is not chipped and nobody knows where she originated from. She tends to sleep in our next doors house but is often in ours during the day.
In our neighbourhood online forum someone was saying her cat kept going missing (now home) and she was going to find out who was stealing it and report them to the police.
I can understand her being upset when her cat doesn’t come home but I would think stealing seems a bit harsh as cats seem to choose where they go. (Not the cat in our road)

Phloembundle Thu 14-Jan-21 10:27:05

A beautiful, old long haired tabby lives next door but one. His owner is out from the crack of dawn till late. He goes from house to house for affection. He doesn't care if you don't feed him, he just wants some love. He would move in with me if I let him. Mother cats often reject kittens when they are grown to prevent inbreeding and get her ready for her next brood.

GagaJo Thu 14-Jan-21 10:32:24


She’s definitely not pregnant as my daughter managed to get her spayed after the kittens were born ! It just seems a bit sad she’s so overweight but there’s nothing we can do about it.


ajswan Thu 14-Jan-21 10:33:22


I am a cat person and like the way that they decide where to live however it is sad when they choose somewhere else.

I had a stunning Bengal and he kept going to a neighbours house. When I was in Spain my DIL phoned to say someone had put a note through my door to say that the cat had a swelling on his cheek. I phoned my vet and said I would settle the bill when I got home so my DIL took him to the Vet. I put a note on the cats collar saying do not feed me. Most of the time my cat stayed home, on another occasion I went round this neighbours home to collect him. Then when he was quite elderly he went missing again I went to the house again and the man carried him to the front door after this the cat was quite ill and after a stay at the Vets he had to be put down the Vet thought that he had eaten rat poison. I will never forgive this couple who had my cat in their house and were feeding him. I would have noticed he was ill much sooner and got him treated. To everyone DO NOT FEED A CAT THAT Does not belong to you unless it clearly is a stray. If you want a cat, get one of your own. I notice the first couple did not take him to the Vet when he had a swelling on his cheek. Also how would you know the cats dietary needs, people who feed other people’s cats could be feeding them something that is not good for them and what if the cat was on medication.

jaylucy Thu 14-Jan-21 10:37:18

I must ask - is your cat chipped ? If it is, at least you can prove ownership.
Cats can be quite fickle creatures and are renowned for going anywhere they are likely to get fed!
I would guess that as her litter is grown, she feels that she has done her job and it's ok to wander at will once more. Sometimes the fact that you are keeping some of her young will make her feel unwanted.
As others have said, she may well already be pregnant again so has found a new space for peace and quiet away from the kittens.
I think that you DD may have to accept that she now only has 2 cats that she will hopefully chip and neuter as soon as she can . The mum cat may well continue to wander between the two houses or may just stay put. I think it's too late to do the litter tray outside trick to bring her home though.

HannahLoisLuke Thu 14-Jan-21 10:39:14

Where I live there is a very old feral cat who lives at various homes, currently with a lovely couple of older people. Neighbour's tell me that he used to have a home but has been living the hobbit life for the last thirteen years.A friend's cat would often disappear for a few weeks at a time but always returned home, until one day he didn't come back. After a couple of years they got another cat and assumed the first one had decided to live elsewhere. Nine years later he strolled back into their kitchen, sniffed the cat bowl and demanded food. The newish cat was not impressed. After that he came and went as he chose.
I'm afraid I'm not a great fan if cats these days, even though I've had them over the years. No loyalty, they just use us and we put up with it.