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NOW CLOSED Calling all UK grandparents: please take a survey for GNHQ - you could win a £50 voucher

(30 Posts)
KatGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 19-Sep-13 08:57:09

As you may know - we have a new book coming out in October on how to survive grandparenting in the 21st century. To mark its release we're looking in to the main areas of difference between how you brought up your own children and how they in turn are bringing up theirs.

Are there any similarities or differences that have surprised you? Do you think being a 21st century grandparent is full unexpected challenges?

We'd love to hear your views, please do take a few minutes to complete this survey, and all respondents who submit their email address will be added into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher.

The survey is open to all UK gransnetters who have at least one child and at least one grandchild.

Here's the link again: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GNsurveySept13

Thanks again and good luck with the prize draw

GNHQ

AnnGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 09-Oct-13 12:33:15

Thanks for all the responses: Jayso wins the £50 Amazon voucher. Well done!

NfkDumpling Thu 03-Oct-13 16:41:18

Agree Mamie I took baby led weaning to mean baby yelling and still hungry so gave her runny baby rice to shut her up!
I did have a baby sling for number 3 who refused to be put down - but it was passed from a friend who'd got it from the USA.
As for playing outside unsupervised. Assume it meant when they could walk unaided. They did - sort of. I wasn't actually with them and they thought they were unsupervised but I kept an eye on them most of the time.
Also agree outside didn't mean the bottom of the garden - however tempting!

Mamie Thu 26-Sep-13 13:05:11

Have completed it. Things that might be confusing:
Baby led weaning in the seventies probably meant following health visitors advice to introduce solids very early. Baby lapped it up, so parent continued to do it. Not sure that is what you meant.
Couldn't find a way of saying DD and DiL weaned at 4-5 months.
Not sure baby slings existed (i never saw one) so couldn't be for or against.
DD didn't have reins for GDs but had wrist strap.
Agree playing outside unsupervised question hard to answer as "young" too vague.
Agree outside did not mean at the bottom of the garden.

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 26-Sep-13 10:08:40

Hello! This is open to UK gransnetters as some of the statements in the first few questions relate to things which are particularly relevant to the UK - socially, politically and - weather based! wink However, if you brought up your children in the UK you're welcome to do it - just tick the box for where you lived before. The prize will be an email code for Amazon so should be ok wherever you live.

Brahaspatinda Wed 25-Sep-13 17:57:54

Like the 'offers' on Gransnet, I don't get to play properly because I don't live it the UK (despite questions in the surveys about proximity!). Must try harder, Gransnet.

Mamie Wed 25-Sep-13 16:33:59

I think it is probably something to do with the prize money, nonasusie. As I am backwards and forwards to the UK all the time being a Granny, I would have no trouble spending it, but I suspect non-residence in the UK makes it difficult. Would be nice to know why though, GNHQ?

nonnasusie Wed 25-Sep-13 13:21:42

Why is the survey only for UK gransnetters? I lived in the UK until 5 years ago therefore my children were brought up there and still live there as do my GC!!

petallus Tue 24-Sep-13 22:14:17

Don't like answer options. For instance i tried to stick to a four hourly feeding schedule but I didn't approve of it. I was a young naive mother who was afraid to go against what the health visitor told me it was essential to do.

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 24-Sep-13 19:25:36

Sorry for the delay in coming back to you on this blush - and thanks for all the useful feedback.

Thanks also to those who have completed the survey: we still do need more responses so please do complete it if you're yet to do so.

We've taken on board the comments re the questions and will try and be a bit clearer next time.

For now, we like you to pick the top 2-3 joys/ frustrations as otherwise it's very tempting for folks to tick all options and we then don't get to the 'real' response. We're looking for your biggest sources of joy and frustration.
If your responses would vary by child/grandchild please do either answer as broadly as you can or think about one child/grandchild when answering.
On other questions it is just your broad opinion we are after.

Lastly, of course we welcome any other feedback/comments on the subjects raised in the survey, so don't be shy. As if... grin

Lona Tue 24-Sep-13 17:42:32

I've done it but I agree it was badly worded.

Mamie Sun 22-Sep-13 13:53:13

I think what is also bothering me is that I am not sure what the questions have got to do with bringing up children. They seem to be focussed on a few narrow practices in the first few months of caring for a baby. Can we honestly look at the population and work out the impact of doing or not doing certain things in the first six months?
Actually I think one source of stress that our children's generation has is the emphasis on competitive parenting and the fear that if you get something "wrong" then your child will be scarred for life.

Mamie Sun 22-Sep-13 11:54:12

I haven't filled it in because I am not in the UK (not sure why I am not allowed to though). I had a look through and it just reads a bit as if the questions are all about things that many parents (and especially experts on parenting) today would regard as "bad".
"Silly old Mother, what daft things to do..."
I would really like to see some robust evidence of the long-term effect of child-rearing practices. For example, health visitors were still insisting on the very early introduction of solids when I had my two. What is it that should have gone wrong by now? (They are in their early forties).

Oldgreymare Sun 22-Sep-13 09:56:25

Can't do the survey, won't let me! It's that dratted red exclamation mark again!!!!!

FlicketyB Sat 21-Sep-13 21:32:32

DH was not in the army but his work took him away from home a lot, usually at a day or less notice and from indefinite periods, anything from 3 days to 3 weeks, mainly UK/Europe but sometimes further afield.

Like you Pippa, no nearby grandparents. I just got on with it, but then I was a war baby and my mother had to manage on her own for nearly 5 years with 2 small children. In her case not helped by having my grandmother living with us as her house ad been destroyed in the blitz. I suspect one of the reasons my mother never got involved with her grandchildren unless asked was because having suffered her mother constantly watching her and providing an endless stream of advice but not help, she was determine not to tread that road herself.

Pippa000 Sat 21-Sep-13 15:40:34

Agree that some questions were difficult to answer, but have done the best I could. When my children were little (from the first being 6 weeks old) hubby was away in N Ireland in the Army, every 9-12 months for on average a 6 month tour of duty until they were 9 or 10 years old so most of the parenting was down to me on my own, with a second child arriving when the first was 18 months old. With no grandparents to help or advise I muddled through. I now find it beyond strange that both parents are needed to manage two children, and they will not leave them to 'do their own thing' but have to constantly interact, and play with them.

FlicketyB Thu 19-Sep-13 18:59:29

I didn't do this survey because as soon as I saw the headings I could see the problems.
1) You have confused doing something with being in favour of it and not doing it because you were against it. I did a number of things because that was recommended practice not because I was in favour of it.
2) No consideration that we may have done different things with different children. One of my children I swaddled because they were happier if I did it, one I never swaddled because it made them unhappy if I did it. The same comments apply to the section on our children as parents
3)Playing out, at what age? You do not state. Under what conditions? That will also influence such a decision.
4) You also assume that we have a preference between being parent or grandparent

ItsOnlyNan Thu 19-Sep-13 17:55:51

Was talking about this only yesterday. I think we had it much easier. I can remember walking out of a job in the morning and getting another one before the end of the day.

Our children could play in the street all after school and in the school holidays.

School child care in the holidays was lunch and drink money and payment towards any outings - we didn't have to pay for the use of the school, the child-carers wages or insurance.

After-school clubs were free.

janthea Thu 19-Sep-13 15:24:08

I've just completed and also felt I could have added further comments.

Anne58 Thu 19-Sep-13 14:14:06

I think some of the questions and possible responses could have been worded better!

Yes, I used to put DS's outside in the pram to sleep (in good weather) but it was NOT at the bottom of the garden, rather it was just outside the kitchen door.

With co-sleeping, it was something that happened occasionally, so I'm neither for not against. DS1 was born with bi-lateral talipes, so although it was recommended at that time that babies slept on their stomachs, he had a note on his crib in the hospital saying "Please do not put me on my tummy" as that position did not help to get his splinted legs and feet in the best position.

I do get frustrated with the way some surveys or questionnaires are worded. I spent over 6 years designing them for clients to ensure that the data they produced could be considered valid and robust!

Grannyeggs Thu 19-Sep-13 14:14:02

I've done it but like NannyBarbara , find choices a bit restricting.

michelleblane Thu 19-Sep-13 14:07:32

I have three children with 2, 2 and 4 children of their own. The each have quite different approaches to bringing up their children, so it was quite difficult answering the questions.

glassortwo Thu 19-Sep-13 13:50:14

kitty I came across similar problems, I couldn't tick on certain boxes but that didn't mean I agreed or disagreed, there isn't enough scope to actually answer some of the questions fully in my opinion, all a bit vague.

kittylester Thu 19-Sep-13 13:26:12

And, when I went back, that question had disappeared - or was I imagining it?

Also, I didn't like the question about preferring to be a parent or a grandparent. Despite having grandchildren, I am still a parent!

kittylester Thu 19-Sep-13 13:10:08

I've just looked at the survey and got stuck on question 1. I didn't breastfeed because I couldn't manage it but that doesn't mean I was against it. confused

I'll go back and see how I manage with the other questions.

NannyBarbara Thu 19-Sep-13 12:19:38

I've completed the survey but was frustrated that some of the responses were restricted to 2-3 answers - I needed to be able to tick more boxes!!