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Over 50 internet dating

(101 Posts)
naafi Wed 25-May-11 12:30:10

If you're over 50 and internet dating, do you find that there are no menfolk your age are interested? They're only looking for women up to mid 40's.

It's only guys who are - well - 10 years+ older than you who show up on the radar.

PoppaRob Wed 25-May-11 14:08:48

Actually I always searched on women my age minus 5 years to my age plus 3 years. If their idea of great music is Elvis or Leif Garrett chances are we're not compatible. I was on Plenty of Fish and Oasis for a few years and gave up... I kept seeing the same faces and I'm sure they felt the same way... the puddle had pretty much dried up. hmm

Exwirecutter Wed 25-May-11 14:14:01

As an over 70's guy I tried internet dating and got some very strange replies from very emotional and possibly unstable ladies so pulled the plug rapid . Perhaps I was just unlucky , may give it another try .

PoppaRob Wed 25-May-11 15:42:57

Hi Exwirecutter... there are some very twisted and disfunctional units in the world of internate dating. A lot have put their lives on hold to while they concentrated on raising their kids, and more power to them, and now that the kids have grown up they want to find some love - but step one is to be loveable. I think sometimes we have an exaggerated sense of our appeal and come with many problems.

Exwirecutter Thu 26-May-11 10:28:58

Mmmm... very profound .

em Sat 25-Jun-11 21:31:36

How interesting that naafi ( female) started this thread but it has proved of more interest to the men among us. How about your experiences, ladies?

HappyGran Sun 26-Jun-11 17:51:30

I hadn't seen this thread, and last night posted on 'Chat' asking for advice about joining a dating site. I would be interested to hear of anyone's experience of being on one.

maturefloosy Mon 25-Jul-11 21:52:32

I have been on and off two sites for ages -- met some lovely people but nothing that involved any chemistry! - Met a couple of complete wierdo's and had lots of visits to my profile from completely unsuitable men who have not read up on what I am looking for - - and it isn't them! - 10/20 years older and usually just wanting a substitute for the partner just lost/left and to tell how badly treated they were - and didn't see beyond the photo. Also a lot of men want ladies at least 10 years younger or more and think that they will be attractive to them -- -- - I would advise caution - - daytime meetings only and always tell someone who you are meeting and where.
Do I sound a bit jaded and cynical about internet dating for older people - - - uumm? hmm

Faye Tue 26-Jul-11 02:32:51

I love your name maturefloosy, I am sure that you would want to have meet someone with a great sense of humour to match yours. smile
I myself think you could meet the nicest person on a dating website and meet a werido in real life. One criteria for any one meeting a potential partner wherever you meet him, before you go any further than the first date check out if they have friends. Men who do not have friends and rubbish their exes (just like I do with my ex, but he really is a narcissist) are probably not a good prospect! hmm

Faye Tue 26-Jul-11 02:53:56

have confused

maturefloosy Tue 26-Jul-11 08:13:35

Thanks Faye - I do think humour is essential in any relationship - but good idea to check out the friends -- maybe that's what I've been doing wrong.!sad

angi Wed 28-Sep-11 15:51:47

There are some chat sites in UK where you can meet many interesting people from all ages. You can chat with others on various topics at the comfort of your computer. I like using this chat: There I can chat with other people my age.

Jacey Wed 28-Sep-11 16:46:21

Thought I heard something on the radio, this week, about such sites. There is concern about organised 'scams' ...with out of country posters?? police are involved?? Only half listening ...did anyone else hear it? confused

Canalman Fri 13-Jan-12 04:35:31

I've been using dating sites for some time now. I have been living alone since my partner died back in 2000. I'm now in my 60s and don't want a committed relationship right now. I look for women in my age group, +/- 10 years and have had many replies from all ages.
Use them if you understand why most other users are there. You need to establish early on exactly what it is the other person is looking for. Don't be afraid to ask detailed questions. They need to know what I want from them, they need to know what they want from me, so that there are no embarrassing surprises.
If all the answers, well, most of them, are what you are looking for, then arrange a meeting.
Good luck!

digikidnan Mon 16-Jan-12 19:22:10

Just joined Gransnet and noticed this thread.

In 1990 I found myself aged 47 a single mum with 3 teenage children ( usual story... secretary). With much help from friends and a counsellor I got my life together... and joined Dateline. This was in pre-Internet days, and was a phone dating agency. I was lucky, found a soul-mate and we've been married now for nearly 20 years. For me it was so worth the risk of trying something completely new

andrew Tue 17-Jan-12 14:08:02

i am a male in my late 40s and have used a couple of sites looking to meet 'older' women of no maximum age limit. i have usually been disappointed and not to mention deflated after a few fruitless searches. i often got the impression that i wasnt being taken seriously. t o reiterate i was looking to meet women up to and beyond 20 plus my age(48). surely there must be some women out there looking for the same thing?!

nonnasusie Tue 17-Jan-12 15:56:19

Like digikiden I joined dateline after being widowed at 47. By the time I joined my kids were a bit older and more or less independant. After a couple of "frogs" I met my present partner. We have been together 10 years and married just after my 60th birthday (3 years ago) We are now happily living in Italy!! wine

em Tue 17-Jan-12 16:35:43

Andrew May I just make an observation? I was once contacted by a younger man - 40ish - who introduced himself by saying that he knew exactly what older women were after and he was 'up for it'!! Very offputting. I'm not for one moment suggesting you'd do/say anything like that but it could be that several ladies had had a similar experience and and decided to stay clear. I think I'm a young 63 but admit I would be wary of meeting anyone where there is such a big age gap.

digikidnan Tue 17-Jan-12 21:43:37

Congratulations nonnasusie! So glad to hear you too found happiness through Dateline

Faye Wed 18-Jan-12 01:04:28

hmm Andrew should we be thrilled that you might want to chat to us, should we be thrilled that yet another man who is ten, twenty years younger than us might be interested in us. No...yawn, we are not thrilled, we are quite bored. smile

andrew Wed 18-Jan-12 10:45:08

Em, i would never introduce myself in such a way, as you say that is very offputting. And Faye its nice that you feel able to speak for an entire generation of women! You may be yawning and resolutely unthrilled but please refrain from posting opinions of your own and passing them off as "received wisdom". Hope the boredom clears up.

sprite Wed 18-Jan-12 11:57:44

Hello, I am new to this amazing site and just noticed this thread. I have had quite a lot of experience on internet dating sites with both good and bad results.
I do wonder, Andrew, whether the" Mrs Robinson " fantasy is just that for most older women? I know I would feel too shy or insecure to take up such an offer, more's the pity!

JessM Wed 18-Jan-12 12:27:03

On the other hand... my DH is 10 years younger than me and there are many plus sides. I think this is becoming increasingly common as stereotypes fade. But I might I suppose be a bit suspicious that someone looking specifically for an older woman was looking for a mummy.

andrew Wed 18-Jan-12 16:02:38

Hello, I can assure you that i am neither seeking a Mrs Robinson figure or a Mummy substitute!!

nanachrissy Wed 18-Jan-12 16:10:37

Andrew I have a male friend, he is an ex but we are good friends and still lovers (when I have the energy) and have been so for eleven years. He thinks that older women are more interesting and more fun than young women.

He is 21 years younger than I, and we never stop talking and laughing when we are together, and never think about the age difference. smile