Telling our sad stories

Nobody would disagree vamp that people should be allowed to repeat themselves if the thread is appropriate to the topic of the thread.

This thread is called 'telling our sad stories' yet barely four lines in it seems as if it is being used as a vehicle to continue a grievance from another thread.

As a relative newcomer to the forums I too asked myself where all this bad feeling is coming from and why, as adults, it can't simply be laid to rest.

Aggrieved feelings have seemed to me to stem from some gransnetters expressing an opinion about a newspaper or a political or religious stance. Some adherents to these do seem to take it personally when this is not intended. I am a humanist but I don't take exception to someone putting forward a reasoned objection to my beliefs, or rather lack of them. Informed argument is fine, but when it becomes mud-slinging, that's where the fun stops.

nannym, you can post anything you like. I do not accept your explanation that it was a generalisation and not aimed at anyone in particular. It is obviously aimed at those of us who have told our stories of being cut off from our families, or other examples of children's ingratitude. The facts are sad enough, without being castigated for posting them in good faith.
I started a new thread because I thought your comment had been lost in the long thread and I wanted people to see the kind of thing that makes me uncomfortable with some posters.
I didn't need to name you - anybody can look up the quoted post.

Vq - Your last paragraph makes a very good point. It is important to share, and sometimes personal stories need to be told more than once in a safe environment, as I believe it aids healing. That can only be a good thing.

It is obvious that whatever I say is not going to be believed. I would not dream of being so gratuitously cruel to another person, why would I? On our private message exchange greatnan seemed happy to accept the generalisation explanation and I have no idea why the change of heart has taken place. However, life is too short to spend any more time trying to fathom the complexities of another person's nature.

nannym don't fret about it, what is a generalisation to some is a personal attack to others and there is no way of resolving it.

That was then, this is now. Is it really, really necessary to continue with all this? I have been reading all these varied posts and find it all rather hard to comprehend.

Ariadne

I am new to Gransnet and have found the frankness and openness of opinion very refreshing. However, it's inevitable that this may hit raw nerves at times, but I'm sure maliciousness is not generally intended. Strong opinions are inevitable with folk who have experienced as much life as we have!

Ariadne

Just get over it, obviously it has touched a nerve with you!

Get over what ?

How nice to see you posting again, Lotus Flower. I thought we had lost you.

I tend to just read the posts when I have time, not post everyday as some do.

Yes, it is nice to be retired and have time to chat almost every day.

If it has come to the point that the contents of private messages are brought onto a forum, then I have to say that that is definitely against internet etiquette.

Wouldn't it be a good idea to close this thread now? it has proved that there are undercurrents of bad feelings in GN and I for one am not really surprised.

Oh Charlotta YES. Time to let it, and the interrelated threads, go, I think. But I do wonder if all our friends need still to work things out, or if, indeed, they can. I hope so.

Why not just let each Gransnetter make up her/his own mind when to stop posting on this and related threads?

Otherwise there would have to be some sort of embargo which might leave some posters feeling they had unfinished business.

Message deleted by Gransnet.

lotusflower Hello again. I've slightly lost track of what has been said here and I am not sure that anyone has been requested to apologise. However, I am doubtful about your last sentence. A wide range of disagreements (healthy and what a forum is for) and a more limited number of problems (not what we want) have cropped up since May 2011. They simply cannot all be laid at Greatnan's door. That is a pretty absurd accusation.I feel sure you didn't mean that Greatnan's trenchant and informed (often witty and funny) postings were always causing distress.

Oh dear, out of order lotusflower

And untrue.

I support absent's post above. Greatnan engages in lively debate and keeps to forum etiquette. She is free to talk about whatever she wants, but it has been noticed that her posts are targeted and undermined quite often in the last year. By the way, I am not part of her clique (not that she has a clique), nor am I in anyone's pocket - this is my own opinion, having trawled through a number of threads and seen for myself how they have developed.

Message deleted by Gransnet.

lotusflower you are being unfair. Greatnan's response was justified in my view. I hope all this nasty sniping is going to stop now.

Oh for goodness sake. Can we drop these accusations and defences against cliques? I would bet my savings that there are not any real cliques (small group of people who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them) on Gransnet.