Does sexual fidelity matter?

And two of my brothers-in-law (now both dead) and one ex-son-in-law!
Plus, of course, my own ex. There's a lot of them about!

But then the best thing is to leave, as you did GN.

Unfortunately, where there are children it is not so simple just to leave.

And my ex too Greatnan! I left when my children were older and I could support myself with a job, and felt very proud of myself!

Trust is the important word here.

Hi Absent...your reply..`darning his socks`I haven`t heard that expression since I was in the army...incidently absent that`s the last time I ACTUALLY did that. Does anyone still `darn` socks lol.

messenger Fewer people wear woollen socks these days so fewer socks, if any, are darned. In any case, we live in a much more throw-away society than when this bout of infidelity occurred in the mid-1960s. Somehow the picture of quiet and comfortable domesticity evoked by the sock darning seems more intimate and hurtful than any amount of passionate sex.

I have darned socks in the last few years, mainly because the ones I like best are 80% wool and 20% cotton. But now I'm making temari, I use holey wool socks as temari foundations.

Read a book by an Australian writer about a quilt someone made (it was the basis of the story), in which old socks, opened and flattened, were used as the quilt wadding. Wish I could remember what/who.

I agree, absent. Even I only darned my own socks

Morning Bags....are your holey socks blessed by the new Pope Francis before you use them?

Certainly not! But they are wholey holey for all that.

I agree with so much that you have all said. If you want to have multiple partners then why not just be single? I also had women friends who thought nothing of being unfaithful. All the lying involved in having an affair, or many affairs, must ruin any relationship. I now know that my ex had a real problem with self esteem and therefore constantly looking for affection of a sexual nature. He eventually confessed that he had been unfaithful all our 12 year marraige and before. If I had known I wouldn't have put myself through all that heartache and children too! Much wisdom hopfully to pass on and now happily single.

Petra has already commented in a simple vein.

When my husband (my ex soon after) confessed to an affair, i think I could have coped had he said it was purely sexual.(I would not have been happy, I hasten to add.) What really hurt was when he said that he and his lover had been discussing what would happen to our daughter when we separated (he thought they were going to go off together but she 'dumped' him less than a week later.)

Bringing her into decisions about our family life was totally unacceptable.

Tweedie that sounds really horrible! Perhaps the 'other woman' thought so too. Served him right that she dumped him.

What matters is what both partners want not what other people think.

Perhaps it is because grans who join Gransnet are more taken with family life than "errant" grans, or perhaps errant grans are too busy being errant.

We are all well aware of the enforced man made concept of sexual fidelity which essentially perverts true fidelity (have a look at the boring scientific description). My experience and view is that the fundamental laws of nature can not be denied as all life forms are built to reproduce in order to survive.

Having had one too many devastating emotional traumas within loyal marriages I am now happily with a beautiful young woman and rejoice at the freedom we have agreed to.

Open but always agreed to first with each others consent (no secrets = no devastators) AND completely loyal to each other within our agreed terms of relationship. Allowing the natural real state of human sexual expression. Makes for a great love life and loving physical skills.

Boring Fidelity

In the fields of scientific modelling and simulation, fidelity refers to the degree to which a model or simulation reproduces the state and behaviour of a real world object, feature or condition. Fidelity is therefore a measure of the realism of a model or simulation.

Be Happy, Be alive , Be you :-)

I am happy, I am me, I am alive and I believe in fidelity.

Some people are monogamous by nature and some are not. Much easier for the former to be faithful.

I can only imagine copulation or rumpy pumpy(or dumpy puppy) as the ipad prefers ) to be used as joke words in a married sexual relationship.good sex needs a brain as well as a body. I darned DH 's socks for years . But we were hard pressed for money. Now we are not and I chuck them out. But I understand about it being intimate. It reminds me of poorCatherine of Aragon making Henry 's shirts even though he wanted a divorce.

petallus my post really was to point out that just because I believe in fidelity doesn't mean I'm boring.

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Blimey you’re annoying CP
Reported

Love and trust. Not something to be undermined or thrown away. Once theyre gone you’re left with chaos. And if children are involved and affected ........that’s on the adults. It’s a comment occurrence today and the next generation will pay dearly for it.

In westrn society, the majority of us are programmed by religions (even if we eschew religion) to believe sexual fidelity is important.
In many cultures, infidelity is irrelevant and rarely practised.

If there are children involved, if the other partner will be hurt, if there is any chance of a sexually transmitted disease, then certainly it is wise to be faithful and thoughtful.

But these are options and there are many situations where people can be unfaithful (and not just having their socks darned by another woman!) and it causes no harm at all.

So on principle my answer would be 'no' but in reality, in western society, you reap the whirlwind if you say 'yes'.

Yes def