When one of you not interested in sex

this is a very common problem for all older women [and a lot of men too!]Usually it's a bit of a taboo subject, but it does need airing. In other words this problem is NORMAL. So, all it needs is for each couple to find what works for them, vagifem, viagra etc or just to stick to hugs and cuddles, but couples do need to talk to one another to find out [not always easy.]If you have a loving relationship, you owe it to each other to find the right solution.

I know this thread is dormant ( like something else on this thread lol )
But did any of you read the article in the DM from the woman who was telling the world about her problem.
Anyway: from this article I was lead to a page telling us about the wonders of, Organic Cocconut Oil. I think I might give it a go. If it doesn't work OH can always cook with it. Lol.

Those of you with vaginal dryness - have you tried Vagifem?
This was a problem for me, and without it I got cystitis after sex.
Now I'm using it and things are ok, but like many of you I'm losing interest . I'm older than my husband, but he's losing it too.
We still have cuddles etc though, so it must be difficult for you trendygran.

Hugs and cuddles are just as important as full-on sex - you are quite right trendygran. Sorry you miss this. Sending a virtual hug!

After 5 years on my own it's the hugs and cuddles which I miss so much. Sex was never exactly thrilling ,but that lack of human touch is hard ,especially at times when life seems difficult, for whatever reason.

yep mishap - it's one of the things that made me consider god was male .....

The female reproductive system truly is a design fault! - nowt but trouble!!

Oh Lordy,Iam64. You cant bloody win, can you.
I can't have the mini bleeds again. Got that sorted some years ago.

Petra - my gp prescribed the gel in pessary form. It helped the dryness, but caused a mini bleed, so I had to come off it.

Did anyone read the article in The Mail about the Testosterone gel that you rub in. It is highly recommended. They say it works after about 2 weeks.
Available on the NHS

I wish I could even 'go through the motions' for my OHs sake. As I have said: tried every lotion, potion. Nothing works.

I did read 50 shades trilogy and it was titillating but not enough to do more than a stir lol!

Not very reassuring then Sallybee. Poor you. I hate my body too and am 4 stone heavier than when we married. Have you tried reading erotica, that may help your libido. Could you write about how you feel and what you need.

My DH still wants to make love, every day if it was up to him. I sadly have no interest despite the fact that he is 12yrs older than me!

My problem is partly down to meds which completely kill the libido, and partly because I feel fat and ugly, even with the lights off.

I stopped smoking this year, and between that, my meds, and a change in lifestyle, I have piled on nearly 4 stone. I am uncomfortable naked and my body Isn't mine.

When we have made love, I have felt nothing (for the first time in our 20yrs together, I have faked an orgasm to please him)!

I don't know what to do, no good talking about it, if I try, he tries to be reassuring but just ends up making me feel worse (it's not your fault you are so fat and if you do some more exercise you might lose some.........it's normal your body hangs a bit, you have had several children.....)! He's always been good at coming out with the wrong thing!

Light on but no one at home I guess in Shiny's house

Started off quite dim, I imagine.

elegran.

Shiny seems to have lost his gloss.

My DH and I had a good sex life but since his death I find I have lost all interest. Despite receiving offers (one within 3 months of his death!), I am simply not interested.

I thought lack of sex might be a problem because our sex life was so satisfactory, but 2 years on this has not proved to be the case. I am perfectly happy with the thought of being celibate for the rest of my life.

I do sympathise with those of you with partners who are not interested as I know how wonderful a loving and satisfying sex life can be.

Big hands clap to you Elegran and a big bunch of

Well said Elegran!

shiny If you read all the posts on here, many have found that they can make the dudes sweat until the cows come home, but the men can't make them sweat, and the lightest touch is agony because of vaginal atrophy.
There are many creams, lubricants, medications and so on which try to ease the situation, but for some nothing works.

Then there are those whose partner, to whom they feel loyalty, has no interest in sex, however they are approached. You say "men" in the plural, but how about those who have committed themselves to only one man, and do not want to look for gratification elsewhere? Or those who would be homeless and unsupported if they are seen to be unfaithful, whatever their need for love?

You are 55, some GNers are a generation older than that, and are financially and emotionally dependent, and brought up to sexual reticence. Not easy to cast that all off.

It doesn't work for me shiny.

Welcome Shiny .Thank you for responding.

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