IVF

I went through IVF to have my son. And like everyone has said, it was really tough. There is a lot of waiting, scans, waiting, injections, waiting waiting waiting.

A lot of you have commented that the couples in your life don’t really want to talk about it, which I certainly didn’t. So I would ask how she is in general terms, but not push if she doesn’t want to talk. Often there isn’t anything to tell, you’re just waiting to see if it works, so as much as you want to know, try not to probe.

I also had a lot of well meaning but insensitive advice and anecdotes about relaxing, doing yoga, about friends of friends who were going to start IVF but then managed to conceive naturally, or people who went on holidays and just relaxed then poof! they got pregnant. All of this is meant well, but it comes across as very dismissive. Hearing about people who managed to conceive easily after doing something simple when you have been trying for years just isn’t helpful.

This probably (hopefully) goes without saying but fertility is a very private matter, and I wouldn’t share about her starting IVF with anyone unless you have her permission.

So all I would do is let her know she is loved and has support, and then let her come to you if she wants to.

Hope this helps

My cousin has twin IVF grand daughters with one always very much smaller than the other. They are now in high school and one looks about 3 years older than the other and they don’t look alike.

My old schoolfriend also has twin IVF grand daughters and again a huge difference in their sizes. Lovely girls but they don’t look like sisters.

Daughter is about to start ICSI for IVF because it’s her husband that has the low sperm count. Does anyone have any experience of this please? We are feeling overwhelmed and sad… 🥲

What are the best ways to help my son and dil as they go through this process?

My daughter will be starting the IVF process later this month, starting w the egg retrieval
The thing is, she doesn’t talk about it much. I would like to know what to expect, and my husband and I would like to be as supportive as possible.
What can we do for her and my son in law during this process to make them comfortable?
I appreciate any help w this!
Thank you!

VProudGranny and bikergran. Just to wish you all well on your IVF journey which, believe me, will be a rollercoaster ride for all of you. My daughter needed IVF after a wrong diagnosis of cancer at 19 which left her infertile after surgery to remove her ovaries. Although IVF was promised then, it took till she was 37 before they started the treatment. She had four separate embryos inserted, all of which failed, and she had 3 embryos left and asked if two could be put it on the next try. The result - a beautiful baby girl who we all waited 20 years for and couldn't be more loved. My daughter had to use egg and sperm donation and there was one embryo left but because of the difficulty of the pregnancy from previous medical issues, was told it was too dangerous for her to use it. Her IVF treatment was carried out at CARE in Manchester. We shall be forever grateful to them for the gift of the baby girl who was born at 33 weeks weighting 3 lbs. 6 ozs. She is tiny for her age, now 2, and is prone to chest infections when she gets colds but we hope in time she will catch up and not suffer with her chest. She is an absolute delight.
My daughter was 40 when she had her precious daughter. We marvel at the wonders of modern medicine and the wonderful selfless donors who made this possible. Good luck and much love to anyone on a similar journey.

Arlicohe just wanted to say this post is nearly 4 years old so you may not get a response. My daughter began the process a couple of years ago but decided not to pursue it for various reasons, but i do wish your daughter success.

My daughter will be going through the egg retrieval process in November, and IVF in January.
She doesn't really want to talk about it, but what can I do for her? And how can I make her more comfortable?

Of course, my husband and I are very supportive, but we want to help in any way we can.

It is nice to hear other peoples stories, especially when things are going well for them. Chronic lung desease seems to be the biggest problem with these tiny babies. At one point tracheostomy was being discussed for one of the twins but thankfully he does seem to have turned a corner now.

I have come to this thread with interest. My young neighbour's sister had a baby born at about 26 weeks and weighing about 1.5lbs in between Christmas and the New Year.There was a problem with the pregnancy and the baby was born by c-section.She now weighs 4lbs and is feeding well although she does have chronic lung disease. It was a difficult time for them as for you and your family grandma60 but they are starting to relax and look forward as I hope you all will be soon.

When I look back to how they were when they were born I can,t believe how things are going now.As you say little steps but at last in the right direction. It has been a very worrying time and not over yet. The support from gransnetters is wonderful.

that's lovely grandma sounds like things are ticking along nicely....slowly but nicely......ahaa pop n grow ! I missed the beginning of the programme so only had half a story.Yes the other people that this lady had helped, were so happy that they could dress their little bundles even with all the tube feeding and wires, it made them feel so much better

Good to hear news of their progress, Grandma60. Little steps but how far they have come in just a few weeks

Just googled. the pop n grow. What a wonderful idea. One of the hardest things for my son and dil has been not being able to look after their babies in the usual way. They have been through a lot of worry and frightening times so little things like this would really help them and other families going through the same thing. Best of luck to everyone involved in this.

Yes I missed that programme. We have had some good news though. The bigger twin has graduated from an incubator to a cot and is now wearing T shirts that come down to his ankles. It has made dil feel so much better being able to dress him and.hold him. The little 1 is putting on weight as well. They will still be in hospital for some time as they are still tube fed. We are going to see them again later this month and are hoping for a cuddle

oh there was something on "Surprise surprise" about 2 weeks ago....it was lady that altered or did something with little babaygrows...they had studs on the sleeves etc and it was so that the little tiny prem babies or just tiny babies could wear the grows even if hooked up to all the wires and equipment...the parents took so much joy in actualy having their little bundles in proper clothing..i'm sure if you googled something it will come up.

I noticed on the day we went that they had lovely patchwork quilts. Maybe thats where they came from. Tiny knitted hats as well. Still only in nappies as they are still in.incubators but I have just posted 2 little babygrows that are the size of my grandaughters dolls clothes. My daughter sent blankets with their names and birthday on and they are now allowed to use them . My grandaughter weighed 9lb at birth and had grown.out of some clothes before she was born!

Oh, it's so moving when you see the tinyness of their first clothes, isn't it? Especially now that our twins have eventually caught up and are in their age-appropriate size range!

I think that's why they have a continuous supply, Ana. My daughter passed a few things on to other twin mums who had premature babies, when they were discharged from hospital. The clothes often end up on dolls. It's so kind of the volunteers to make them. One of my grandaughters was lain on the most beautiful quilt, which was made from Winnie the Pooh fabric. Once out of SCBU, it was given to her and is now in her baby memory box, along with the tiniest babygrow I have ever seen.

My DD had a problem passing them on, though. The hospital wouldn't take them back as they'd been worn by her twins, obviously, so she just had to put them in the charity bag...

Good to hear how the babies are progressing, Grandma60. Did you notice tiny hand knitted hats and blankets in the incubators? At our local SCBU they have a steady supply of the most beautiful knitted clothes and blankets for preemie babies, which are made by lots of volunteer knitters. It was comforting to see them amongst all the wires and technology.

Seeing those pictures has made such a difference. 1 twin is now in high dependancy. The other is going to be in intensive care for a couple more days. But what a difference a week has made. It is amazing how far science has come in the last generation. IVF is a difficult road to take. My son and DIL have been through so much in the last 4 years but at last are seeing their reward. The dedication of the staff in.SCBU is wonderful as well. Lifecycle I hope you have had a lovely day with your little grandson and the rest of your family.

That's fabulous Grandma60. I still remember clearly the very first time I held my premature daughter when she came off her ventilator - and that was 35 years ago! This afternoon that baby is hoping to hold her little nephew (our grandson) for the first time, here thanks to the wonders of science and IVF. It is partly knowledge gained through treating babies like my daughter all that time ago that now makes it possible for babies born even earlier, like your tiny twins, to survive and eventually thrive.

Ah, lovely, Grandma60. Things are looking up. I have a lovely photo of my daughter and SIL holding their babies for the first time in the SCBU. The smile on their faces was fantastic to see.

I had a lovely suprise when I logged on to my email today. Photo's of my son and DIL holding their babies for the first time! I know there will probably be more problems along the way. This time last week there were more infections and lung problems to deal with but today they looked so happy.