Online encounters

Hello specki! lovely to see you on here again, and glad to hear you sounding so happy!

I've not done the on-line dating thing myself, but know 2 girl friends that did and it worked out well for them. A couple of false starts, but you can get that in any relationship!

I think one of the issues with on-line dating is that "mature" chaps often specify that they want a woman at least ten years younger than they are. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. Good luck if you try it.

I met my partner through an online dating website and would recommend it. When you get to a certain age it is difficult to meet unattached people and so is an easier way, and much less stressful. You can 'vet' them first by the information they post on the website (assuming it's all true of course), and then choose who you wish to meet. You must be careful to arrange somewhere that is safe. I wouldn't hesitate to do it again....though I hope I never have to.

No experience but I do think that if you arrange to meet a stranger you should tell someone where you are going and get them to call you within an hour of the meeting. You could have a code word to explain it is all OK or you could use the call as an excuse to leave!

I think it is worth a try but would also join things like U3A, a gym or whatever appeals to you. I think some of the men only things now include women as well like Probus.

Spread your wings and good luck!

I have met several ladies on dating sites which lasted for a long or short time but not giving up yet,any offers?

When I was 'shopping' for a husband back in the 80s (dumped by 1st husband and with a baby and a job, normal socialising was difficult) there was an organisation called Dateline that you could join and meet potential partners. In a way it was the online dating of its day because even though people had to fill out forms to give details and personality types they could still lie like mad.
Any road up, I had a go and met my second husband (married 29 years and still going) as did my sister a few years later!
I was fairly careful (!) and got to know any potential matches through phone calls and proper letter (Oh I still remember those, such a joy). Any eventual meet ups were done with the usual safeguards, either neutral ground or with a safety of my Mum or neighbour knowing about it.

Scroll forward to the present day and my elder daughter who was working all hours, joined a high profile modern Online dating organisation and met her husband of 5 years (2 wonderful grandchild).

So, to sum up. Get out there and meet people through interests in the 'real' world but, if you fancy a go have a dabble in the online world but put some really good safety practices in place. Use a reputable group and remember that people can invent themselves online so take your time, have phone conversations and suggest a letter or two (you can tell a lot about a person by their handwriting and use of language). If you meet up, make it for coffee on the High Street and make sure a friend knows about it. Good luck and Bon Chance!

Specki so pleased that you sound so so happy and wish you all the very best for your future,take things slowly and you will surely meet someone in time.

Go for it Specki is what I say! Just be careful and use your common sense, as others have said - meet somewhere neutral for a cup of coffee or something and definitely have a couple of chats on the phone first to get a better "feel" of the person you are thinking of meeting.

I'm sure there are plenty of men of in our age group who don't want the "younger" woman. Good luck!

Wow, several success stories! It does seem to be the way to go - even my newly single son is doing it and having a great time. Far better than standing in singles bars..or as it would be in my case, sitting!
The safety considerations are of course key to success. Surely no-one with even half a brain would go off to meet a stranger without making absolutely sure that some good security back up was in place. Looking at the sites, they give a huge list of things to be wary of such as not leaving your drink unattended or giving information about your finances etc etc.
I think having an open mind whilst being wary and being prepared to take things slowly and securely are fundamental.
Ok, watch this space!

Yay, Specki! You sound as if you have your head screwed on right. Take care and retain a certain air of mystery as to your finances etc.

My OH (who, as I mentioned, found me through Dateline) let me know a few years afterwards that one of the main things that attracted him was my complete lack of bitterness as to my dumping and divorce. He said he had met far too many women who just wanted to drone on about their problems etc. I do not know your circumstances but it might be a useful tip.

specki go for it!

One of my best friends joined a dating site after her husband died; she kissed a few frogs and about 3 men later, she wrote to me 'at last, my Prince has come' and the second love of her life (these are also her words) found her on the dating site. I have never seen her look happier, more content or more gorgeous. She's 70 this year and he is much the same age.

Hi Speckie was wondering about you the other day! It may well be a good idea but just be careful if anyone asks you to send money for their fare etc. Good luck - hope it works well for you. Le Bureau? X x x

I would definitely try it, if I end up on my own. I have a friend who has had a wonderful time. She hasn't met anyone she would like to live with, but she says she has made some very good male friends to socialise with.

Another friend says that she has found a 'friend with benefits'.

It's such a shame that people feel they have to lie. I'm sure that there is someone out there for everyone, and that all they do is slow down the sorting process when they lie.

I have no idea if I could be bothered to look.

Friend with benefits - like it!

I've just had a conversation with my lady wot does - she is in similar position but she is doing all the things they say you shouldn't do. One contact, a Frenchman who lives in Paris and is obsessive about speaking English, has asked her to travel to Paris, to stay in his one bedroomed flat where, he assures her, he will give her his bed and he will sleep on the sofa. NO!!!! said I. Don't do it Sue! First of all - someone with an OCD? Secondly asking her to travel to him and sleep in his flat? Oh purlees!

I said - you mustn't do it - he could spike your food or drink/ nick your handbag and cards. He could be an axe murderer surfing the net for victims! Her reply? Well I've never been to Paris and I've always wanted to go. I said I'll take you to Paris - forget him. Oh dear - she is far too trusting.

Bez yes we must - I'm just off to the UK for five days - will mail you when I get back.

INTERNET DATING: Heres the thing, dating sites are just another tool in the box of life. Think of it, only as window shopping unless/until you spot the item you can no longer live without. You may have to (metaphoricaly) try on several, before you locate one that feels comfortable.
MEETING: Always, Always meet in a Public place, even mention the cctv in passing. Coffee Chains are an ideal first meeting place. If the Person has misrepresented themselves (it happens) smile and try to act normally. It will serve as good practice, for subsequent dating/vetting. On conclusion of the Date, try to be polite and positive. Better not to give false hope, if you have no intention of meeting again. They will respect you more if you say something like, 'wish you good luck on your next date but there was no spark for me today',shake hands and leave.
CONSIDER: Setting up a special email address for use on your chosen dating site which will also double as a potential dating contact point, if you are reluctant to exchange your mobile number. Never give out a landline number, postcode or your last name unless you are very confident that you can trust your internet date and then only after a 2nd/3rd or more date.
RARE: Occasionally there are dubious but convincing people who will attempt to part you from your money. Do not ever believe a hard luck story, because if you do, it is most likely you will never ever see your money again.
LASTLY: Do be open minded, there an extraordinary amount of really good hearted internet daters out there. The majority of whom will be (but not all) Single. Do not leave your common sense at home and you will be absolutely fine. Good Luck in your quest.

INTERNET DATING: Heres the thing, dating sites are just another tool in the box of life. Think of it, only as window shopping unless/until you spot the item you can no longer live without. You may have to (metaphoricaly) try on several, before you locate one that feels comfortable.
MEETING: Always, Always meet in a Public place, even mention the cctv in passing. Coffee Chains are an ideal first meeting place. If the Person has misrepresented themselves (it happens) smile and try to act normally. It will serve as good practice, for subsequent dating/vetting. On conclusion of the Date, try to be polite and positive. Better not to give false hope, if you have no intention of meeting again. They will respect you more if you say something like, 'wish you good luck on your next date but there was no spark for me today',shake hands and leave.
CONSIDER: Setting up a special email address for use on your chosen dating site which will also double as a potential dating contact point, if you are reluctant to exchange your mobile number. Never give out a landline number, postcode or your last name unless you are very confident that you can trust your internet date and then only after a 2nd/3rd or more date.
RARE: Occasionally there are dubious but convincing people who will attempt to part you from your money. Do not ever believe a hard luck story, because if you do, it is most likely you will never ever see your money again.
LASTLY: Do be open minded, there an extraordinary amount of really good hearted internet daters out there. The majority of whom will be (but not all) Single. Do not leave your common sense at home and you will be absolutely fine. Good Luck in your quest.

Specky

Go for it young lady, if I were you I would just consider it as going on a blind date but not an interview for a future partner.
Take it as it is have a good chat ask about him and his interests, it's day out.

I personally would only meet a stranger during the day until I got to know them, but that's me.

Get a dog.

Aka Somehow it's just not the same!

A friend of mine went through an agency (internet dating had not been invented at the time) and met some guy, who calmly got up from their table and said he was going off to masturbate. Yes - there are some strange guys out there, so keep your head screwed tightly on!!

I've got a dog Aka!

Anyone read 'A small dog saved my life' by Bel Mooney? Its brilliant.

So update - I've had a look and the majority of the guys who are a match for me are short! I like flat shoes, but not all the time! Ok I'll keep looking.

Strange occurrence. I was posting a message on this thread, and when I put in the words 'very happy' my pc took me to google with enquiries about 'very happy, before the message posted. Anyway, I like to shop in person, though do make some online buys. Esecially with a site like Amazon, where if the purchase is not suitable, I can return the goods for refund. Having said that, someone close to me did make a friendship online, to the point they are now together and extremely happy.