does your dh read?

I too was about to say - be careful what you wish for! Our house is almost lined with books. I only keep classics and a few books that I know I will read again, as I remember books once I have read them. DBH however keeps all of his as his and his mother's memory work differently, they can read and re-read a book many times. I have bought him a kindle to try to counter the problem, and it does seem to be working, but I still need to work out how to get him to part with a few hundred scifi books before I can decorate our dining room.

However - Ex didn't read, and seemed to resent me doing so. It was awful as I read at every opportunity. Many children used to be discouraged from reading though, it was considered a lazy waste of time, so I understand why he did feel like that. It was also considered anti-social by many.

I think it gives you another common interest. I love finding a book that I know he will enjoy.

DH and I both enjoy reading but read completely different types of books. I love Aga sagas and chicklit and he reads political thrillers and espionage books. We do vaguely talk about what we've read, but not much. Despite that we never seem to stop talking about something or another. I also read recipe books and magazines and he reads professional stuff!

Seems to me Maisie there is something else going on in your relationship that maybe relates to the feeling you have of not always feeling 'loved up'.

Personally, I can think of nothing worse than DH cooking me scrambled eggs and smoked salmon on Christmas morning (either in or out of bed!)- think of the mess you'd have to clear up before you could even get started.

The Wonderful Man reads for a short time before he goes to sleep and/or first thing in the morning, but it's rarely a work of fiction. He reads biographies or 'study' books mostly and he has the capacity to remember what he's read for years afterwards. He's quite a deep thinker and likes to discuss what he's been reading with me, so we often have conversations over dinner or sometimes we go out for a coffee and he talks through his latest discovery. At the moment he's reading around the subject of Christian anarchy - so we're having some lively discussions about church and state.

I am an avid reader and have tried to interest DH in fictional novels but he is not really interested. He did read all the Lee Child novels which leave me cold.
He reads technical books and lots of history books.

Until my husband became unable to see 'close up' due to macular degeneration, he never read a book, or indeed was interested in reading, now however, he has discovered the joy of the audio books, and loves to sit and listen to those specially sea-faring and war stories. It is quite funny actually, because sometimes he listens to tapes and falls asleep, and I can hear him (when he wakes up) frantically searching for the place where he nodded off!
I love to read, and can get lost in a book at any time. We have always done most things together, mainly because we enjoy each others company, so it is good that I can now help him choose books which he will enjoy. His sight is o.k. for driving, just close work is the problem.

I always thought that men tended to read non fiction although my ex was an avid reader of non fiction and yet I couldn't have a conversation with him about anything other than books or politics and I was incredibly lonely in the marriage. The S.O. is a newspaper reader [although he does read a lot of sport autobiographies etc] and we natter about just about everything. I do know exactly what you mean, though, maisie. But I'm a firm believer that if something is lacking in a marriage [with some exeptions ] it's best to find it elsewhere, and I think a book club is a great idea. You can't make someone read that isn't really interested I'm afraid.

Thanks for all your replies, and I hear what you say - especially about the alternatives soutra. I think it was going out with a couple of very loved up friends (something I don't always feel). I remember it took me a while to get over hearing how another friend's husband always made her scrambled egg and smoked salmon in bed on Xmas morning (not literally). Very shallow, I know, and I should count my blessings.

Maisie - old dogs, new tricks? Isn't it too late to change him.? Footbsll on the telly is harmless enough - think soft top sports cars, online poker, canvassing for UKIP - things could be a lot worse!!

Not books but lots of stuff online he says he doesn't have the patience or time to sit and read a book. I don't understand it myself as I always have a book on the go.

Avidly ! Trouble is he insists on keeping most of them, our spare room resembles a library. He even reads whilst watching TV.
We don't have the same taste though. I read chick lit. He reads historical fiction and crime.

Does he read? * Non stop* ! If it's not the paper on his iPad at 6.30/7 in the morning, it's the news on the BBC website and then after breakfast he settles down to a book - history or politics but rarely fiction. You can't move in our house for books!

Mine reads too, and looks at me sternly over his glasses when I lower my book for a quick chat. I usually get the message.

'I would love to be with someone who...' you say Maisie

Sounds like there is more to this than just books. What things do you have in common?

If the sound of the telly disturbs your reading, why not ask him to watch it wearing headphones, then you can read peacefully in the same room if that's what you want?

Maisie you could be describing my DH and me. I have always read books and he never has but likes his newspapers and hobby magazines. To me it's no different to saying he likes ice-cream and I don't.

I'm finding it hard to understand why you want your DH to like the same pastime as you, especially as you say you have lots of things that you like doing together. Does he want you to watch football with him?

Why don't you join a book group Maisie?
MrA would love me to crew for him in his dinghy but knows I don't like getting cold and wet and hanging around all day waiting for the wind to pick up (or die down, as the case may be) or the sea fret to lift, and that he has to find his crew from the keen sailors at the club he belongs to.
Chacun a son gout