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How To Resign As a Godmother...!

(55 Posts)
glad35 Tue 13-May-14 14:23:22

Any advice on this one, folks?

I am godmother to a 14 year old boy, son of my previously-close friend, who moved to the other end of the country, with her OH and children when the boy was only 1 or 2 years old. I have only seen them a handful of times since (the last time was about 8 years ago) and I'm sure the boy doesn't have a clue who I am.

We are only in touch now for birthdays/Christmas, when we send cards and I never see the family. Every Christmas and on his birthday, I send a card and a voucher for £20. 9 times out of 10 I hear nothing back. Occasionally, the mother of the boy (my friend), will send a text or email thanking me.

I don't begrudge the money (although I could think of better things to do with £20!) but the whole thing seems ridiculous. I also resent not being thanked! (I've had one thank you card from the child in 14 years).

I'd like to just stop - or resign - but what's the best way to do it? Or do you think I should carry on for the next 4 years and stop when he's 18?!

granjura Wed 14-May-14 20:46:40

A good question Rosequartz. Personally, I would talk to the parents and child, if old enough- and explain you've changed and feel differently now- and how you currently see your role- and give them the choice on how to proceed. If the religious aspect is important to them, then say you really would prefer it if theiy found someone else for that religious support rôle- but that you, of course, will always consider said child to be very special to you, in a different way. Honesty and openess, for me, is always so important in any special relationship.

ginny Wed 14-May-14 22:53:04

* Rosequartz * It is true that none of us truly knows how we will feel about certain subjects in a year or ten years time. But we can be true to how we feel right now.

I agree with granjuras' post above.

rosequartz Wed 14-May-14 23:34:26

My God children are grown up now (one in late 40s, one in their 50s!) so I don't feel responsible for their spiritual welfare any more and haven't done for a long time.

However, I don't think I could resign as Godmother, in a way it's like deciding not to be a parent any more. I would always try to be there if they needed me for whatever reason.

ginny Sat 17-May-14 18:43:40

Interesting debate. Pity OP didn't come back to tell us if any comments helped her to decide what to do.