Really, really shocked!

ga I'm flabbergasted at him managing to keep up that pretence for all those years. Reminds me of my ex's uncle - a bachelor who lived a pious life and never showed any interest in having a relationship. He had a heart attack in the mid-70s and thought he was dying - as he was taken to the ambulance, he told my ex's mother that there was a lady mentioned in his will. Turned out he and this woman had been in a relationship for forty years and kept it secret at his insistence. There was no barrier to them making a home together, other than his view of himself as a confirmed bachelor who was determined not to marry. He left her everything, anyway - what was that all about?

That is shocking GA and a terrible betrayal of his family.

A friend was shocked when, at her father in law's funeral, a whole other family turned up. Apparently his wife knew but didn't tell anyone else.

I think that having told the lie he came to 'believe' it himself. I think if I'd found out before he died I would have felt duped, along with everyone else, but as he's been dead for some time and we hadn't really kept in touch I simply feel bemused and incredulous. I really did like him and he seemed a genuinely lovely man. I do feel very, very sad for his wife - finding out something like that must be devastating.
As for what prompted him; his wife told me he'd hated working on the farm and she thinks that's what made him say what he did. Then I guess having told her he was an invalid he couldn't see a way out of the situation without admitting he'd lied - easier just to keep up the pretense. It really does take all sorts doesn't it?

We have a family member who enjoys ill health and many believe this individual is as fit as the rest of us. Yes, that sounds cold, critical and unfair and I don't feel easy saying it. But, there we are. A small number of people seem to enjoy life with the label of invalid. Sorry to read your experience granyactivist. Such a betrayal of the people who loved him best. I wonder what the prompts for this kind of unusual behaviour are.

Oh that poor woman. That has to be one of the most extreme ways of not losing face and managing to get out of a lifestyle that isn't liked, by anyone ever.

How dreadful , I wonder what on earth his poor children think of him now. His wife must feel so betrayed.

It IS truly shocking grannyactivist he had everyone fooled. I have heard of this sort of thing happening though, although it will be rare obviously.You wonder about his mental state don't you? Or did he simply see it as a good thing [at the time] but somehow it just carried on.Very strange behaviour.Must make you wonder [and her] who you can trust.

Your poor friend must feel utterly bewildered and devastated. You must all feel very shaken and cheated.

He should have taken up acting for a profession, as he obviously put on a pretty convncing show. I wonder how he felt about deceiving your friend?

I'm with durhamjen on this one! You couldn't make it up although it would make a great plot"

What a cheek! - how on earth did he get away with it for so long?

I didn't dare ask!
I knew this man reasonably well for ten years or so and all that time I, and everyone around him, thought what a lovely 'plucky' chap he was. He used to joke about his condition and say things like how grateful he was for every new day. We were all happily solicitous of him because we thought he made light of his ailment.
Wrong!!!

What did he die of? Did she hit him very hard with a blunt instrument?

vegas we honestly thought there were - what an amazing deception!!

I wonder how he managed to keep this a secret all those years. You'd think, if he was genuinely ill, there would have been hospital appointments, check ups, repeat prescriptions and so on. What a story!