Decision made

Elegran I've been saying for years that I don't know how she put up with him. He's selfish, uncaring and a lot besides.
I will talk to her. She has an appointment Monday to see about housing benefit and a house viewing in the afternoon.
Thank you all.

I'd say going away for a weekend with a girlfriend is pretty good evidence that he is impossible to live with.

She has enough on her plate without leaving her home on his orders with nowhere to go and no furniture.

Don't let him get away with this. They are HIS children, not just hers. He has an obligation to do his share. Nag her to go at the very least to CAB and see what they say, even better to have her half hour with a lawyer who has experience of marital breakup.

It will be hard for her to do this, but even harder to cope alone with her children without any input at all from this louse.

Is he playing the old "I paid for the furniture" card? Well, she is entitled to half his money and half the contents of the home. If he won't contribute voluintarily, he needs a legal push. Just a stiff letter from a lawyer might do it. That kind of bully has more respect for male power than for female pliancy.

Daughter should see a solicitor on Monday, ask for an Emergency Occupation Order. Solicitor might get the Application for the Order into Court the same day i.e. an emergency. This may only be granted for 2 weeks/ 4 weeks ?? This will entitle DD and DC to stay in house while solicitor sorts out the situation. Will she qualify for Legal Aid.
She should stay in the house.
Has DSIL shown behaviour that would deem him impossible to live with? Ideally she wants to be granted an Occupational Order together with an Order that DSIL leaves the house.... if that was possible.

I can understand how she feels but she needs to sit firmly in the family home. If your daughter gets custody of the children, she won't need the added responsibility of finding somewhere else to live, furnishing the place and sorting out the move, uprooting the children from their home and everything that is familiar to them at a time when they must be feeling confused and worried already. This is the time she has to put the childrens' feelings first and bite down on her anger and resentment. The worst thing she could do is walk out of their home.

Financial arrangements should be sorted out too.

I agree, she should seek legal advice asap! He shouldn't be giving her orders, and the children's welfare should come first.

That's what we told her but she just wants to get away She's sleeping on the sofa and can't stand to be in the same room.

The last thing she should do is leave the marital home and/or part with any possessions in the home regardless of who paid for them. If he is issuing orders, she needs to consult an advocate immediately before she loses out.