Sorry to rant again...

Similar situation with my DD. Because he is self-employed he can hide a whole lot of cash. Claims that the (very) little he buys the kids is his contribution. Because she is registered as disabled he reckons her bills are paid anyway so why hand over cash she ' doesn't need'.

Some of these men love themselves even more than they love their children.

I'd let him carry on with that, then.

Most men won't though as they only see the money going to the ex-wife mot for the children! DD3's husband is threatening to let his company go bust unless she accepts the paltry sum he has offered! .

That's exactly what I thought FarNorth. Surely if you love your children, however much animosity there is between you and a partner, you would want to do your best to lessen the material and emotional effect on your children?

Never mind pride - where is his love for his son, and his wish to do the best he can for his son?

I can never understand why men wont support their children. My ex SIL retired from the Army 18 months ago. He has to give CSA to DD because of pension but is refusing to work at all - says he has no intention of ever working again. He is just 41. He divorced DD and remarried a lady of independent means so he walked into a house paid for, and a large salary coming in to the house. I cannot believe that he wont contribute any more for his 13 year old son. Where is his pride? I am so perplexed and hurt by it all.

Your daughter and yourself will get through this. This is the hardest bit. In a few months all the house/money (or lack of it) will become clear and it's easier to deal with issues when you know the facts. Not saying it will be easy, but it will get easier. Children are resilient....especially nowadays where no longer is a separation something to be frowned upon. I feel it is a good indication that your daughter is strong and wants better for herself and her children.

Thank you Ana

Thank goodness she has the tenancy, at least. I do hope things settle down and she feels she can start rebuilding her life soon - such a difficult time for all of you, nina.

Ana yes they were renting. She has had assurance from the landlady that the tenancy is hers and that he will be moving out.
Yes DD and DGSx2 did move in with us for a week as she couldn't stand being there with him. But she returned after sorting things with landlady. He has until 11th Aug to leave. He has sold half the contents of the house !

Not sure that they will find out anything, glammanana, unfortunately. My DN has rarely been paid anything from her ex (they have 2 children); he earns quite a lot but manages to hide it as he and his father have a business. Says he lives with his parents when he lives with another woman in a large house, has holidays abroad etc etc. A really nasty piece of work so she has always been scared to rock the boat. The little girl always wanted to see him but the little boy refused (not from anything DN said about him), although they both see him now.

Kiora is right, some men don't deserve children.

Some men don't deserve children.

Ex did that to me. He went to live with his girlfriend and worked for cash only, and hid everything for years so that he wouldn't have to pay maintenance. Frankly I was so relieved to see the back of him and still be alive that I didn't care. I did feel sad that he didn't want to support his daughter, but his attitude was that he would only pay for things for her while she was with him.

Weren't they renting? And she and the DC moving in with you, nina? She really should try to keep the house - it would be so unfair if he got housing benefit to pay the rent for just him to live there.

If he has voluntarily given up his job, he isn't automatically eligible for benefits. Is your DD working? She should get in touch with the CAB and find out what her financial position is. If there is property, she will have to find out how she stands. What a b****y mess!

Can he get the dole straight away?

Eloethan he would be quiet happy to slob on the dole. He didn't look for work for 6mths after he left the army.

Exactly, Eloethan. Best of luck on the dole, to him.

What a juvenile, irresponsible attitude - and pretty self-defeating too. When he's got over his hissy fit he might find there's no job to go to when he decides he wants one.

kitty your on.

I forgot to say, he finishes his job today so no excuses. She asked him to have the boys Saturday night while she goes out. This would be after she's put them to bed. He said "you want me out, I've got to pack" I told her get ready and go. What can he do about it, they're his children for heavens sake

I hope he doesn't have any hidden assets or payoff from work as they will find them eventually,has this man got no pride in the up keep of his little ones.He will be the loser in the end for sure. If you get done for GBH I will bake you a cake with a file in it.

I'll do it Nina if you'll reciprocate! There'd be nothing to kink little old ladies with a random killing like that!.

What a selfish so and so.