Yet another SiL rant - this time about the Idiot!!

What do you mean, you're "nothing special" kitty? Everybody is special.

Not offended at all kitty - I'm far too fond of you and your posts!

And the friendship is very real to me too! I was being flippant really as GK had been kind to me and I'm nothing special. I really do value the warmth on gn and hope that I can offer, as well as receive.advice and support! I didn't mean to offend!

Now that DD and her girls are finally settled into their new house, there's a spare room at ours kitty

Just ignore me letting off steam now and again as our 'idiot's' nose appears to be out of joint and being a PIA and generally being awkward as he sees DD coping so well without him.

And I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of the problems and other stuff shared on here are real as well - I was just surprised at the expression, that's all!

Ana I understand Kitty to mean it's a virtual world not a real one... but the friendship of course is real. Well it is to me

What d'you mean, 'none of it is real' kitty?

Meant to say thank glamma but if it's a tent. I'll send the DGC! I need my rest!

Crumbs GK

I don't think I'm any different from lots of the people on here who are going through things at the moment - some are having things much worse and coping! GN is a huge help in keeping me on an even keel - which is daft when you think about it because none of it is real is it?

kitty given the current circumstances, your good humour and excellent maintaining of a state of equilibrium (and still finding time to post in the thread about slipping between the sheets in feminine mode) are all commendable and inspirational

kitty who is the spare room for you or the little ones ? you can always errect a tent in the back garden if you become desperate but if like my youngest 2 DGCs they would probably enjoy the experience.

We find negotiation (some might call it bribery) helps. For instance, 'It's nearly lunch time now but if you eat all your lunch and sit at the table nicely then you can have a banana!' - it even works sometimes.

It the terrible two and the split together that are making things worse and his sister is teething! Anyone got a spare room?

Hang in there Kitty. I know you are angry with SIL but your GS is doing what lots of 2 year olds do and testing out what and who they can control. Co-incides with the challenge of controlling their own toilet training often.
But it is wearing and takes a lot of energy.
Something that helped with my GS who was being a real pain at that age was trying to use positive language - a cycle of negativity was building up and he was starting to think of himself as naughty. He was saying no all the time - and so was everyone else in the family!

No offence taken ninathenana. I know I confuse people when I talk about our children.

Yes of course you are a family vampirequeen My confusion was over whether they are your DC or your DGC and not that you were referring to them as yours.
Sorry for any offence.

Sorry. They're my husband's children. I'm their stepmother but how can you be involved in bringing up children if you don't feel some connection with them. I talk about our children because we're a family.

Haha, didn't read the last page did I

I'm confused by vampires post. It talks about 'our children' and when 'our son was 2'
Are these your DC or DGC ??

No the mum is my husband's ex. There is an 18 year age difference between them. I try hard to convince the children I'm their wicked stepmother but they won't have it. Tonight they said I'm rubbish at being wicked and just accept I'm nice

Well done you two Vampirequeen and OH- can't be easy- but I am sure they actually enjoy the boundaries in so many ways. Just wondering, is their mum your daughter? Does she realise all well the boundaries work with you? We grandparents are experts at walking on eggs, aren't we?

I've just read my post. Makes them sound too perfect lol. They still children and they don't always get it right but they accept that there are consequences to actions just like in adult life.

We have a similar problem with our children aged 6 and 8. Monday to Friday they live with their mother and stepfather. Weekends are spent with us. Their mother has no control. They demand...not ask for...something and she'll say no then when they whinge, whine etc she gives in. They wreck their rooms, never tidy up etc. In fact they are the children from hell.

From the start we set boundaries (four years ago when our son was 2). There are expectations and consequences. For example, if you don't eat your main course then you're obviously not hungry enough for dessert. When they first came they tried to play us up but we stayed calm and stayed firm. They soon learned that they had to behave in a different way when they were with us and tbh it's now a way of life for them. The change occurs as they step over their mother's threshold.

If your daughter stays calm and firm this will eventually happen with her little boy. He will learn that he has to behave in two ways. She will have the well behaved little boy and his father will get the demon child from hell.

HI kittylester oh the terrible twos- at least that phase does eventually end. Hope DD and you are feeling better. If you fancy another meet up for a proper rant/share I'm always open to another girly lunch. If you fancy a trip over here we have a nice new Italian Bistro you might enjoy.

kitty Always feel free to rant to me via pm. Then I can rant back at you

Good on her for making the decision.

It may sound very odd, but I've always found counting works quite well, as in proffering the bowl of the (in this case) bananas, and after a reasonable amount of time for them to be eaten, saying, "ok, NAME" , here they are, now, you can eat them, or they go in the bin after the count of (whatever)