Very Sad but I think Mum has decided enough's enough.

I empathise

There does come a time Merlot

A very sad time for you Merlot. I hope you find some comfort in knowing she has been happy and well cared for in the home that you found for her.

Sending you hugs merlotgran
My mum decided she'd had enough and we just had to accept it's what she wanted. It's hard though for you .My thoughts are with you.

You are a very loving daughter Merlot in respecting your Mum's decision

Merlot, Just read back over the thread and hope you realised that I meant you were lucky to have so much wine on tap and not lucky to be losing your mum!

Thinking of you Merlot I can totally understand how you must be feeling.

be brave but look after yourself too. It's sad, it's life I know, but still it's sad

Merlot it does sound as though she has decided she has had enough. I hope the care home understand that and don't fight her apparent decision because they might be afraid of being accused of neglect.

When my Mum decided she'd had enough she turned her face to the wall, refused food and drink and slept herself away. The care home asked us if we wanted her to be hospitalised and fed artificially but she was 93, had dementia and severe arthritis. was almost stone deaf, had several TIAs and was very unhappy in residential care. So we said not and they said they would keep her comfortable and let nature take its course. She slipped away quietly and easily and since then I have often reflected that it was a good way to go. Maybe she was showing us, her five children, how to do dying. My thoughts are with you Merlot and I hope your Mum can let go as easily as mine did.

May have gone a bit over the top merlotgran have no idea how I managed 4 posts

Merlot - thinking of you x

merlot That your mum was singing that song brought a tear to my eye

Merlot such a sad time for you but it sounds as if you are seeing the good in the situation. I hope she sings herself out.

Yes; the song gave me an overwhelming sense of sadness, but it's also wonderful that she can communicate her feelings in a way that shows she is, somehow, at peace with herself .

Thinking of you Merlot. I hope you didn't find it tasteful that some of us mentionned our own exteriences. When someone is suffering like this- it is only natural that we think of what we went through in similar circumstances- and empathy flows from this too. More and your are in my thoughts at this difficult time. As Kitty says, those of us who were/are lucky to have had a wonderful and close relationship with our mother are privileged indeed.

Thinking of you Merlot.

sorry, distasteful, of course.

Merlot, thinking about you and how you (and your lovely mum) must be feeling now. There does have to come a time, doesn't there, and she sounds like she's decided this for herself. She knows you're there for her as you always have been - and what a wonderful comfort that must be for her. xx

Not distasteful at all, granjura. Everyone's comments have been supportive and comforting.

I've just come back from visiting mum with DD. She is very weak now but recognised us both before falling asleep again. We stayed for a couple of hours which seemed to comfort her and I'll go back in again in the morning.

I really hope she just slips away in her sleep now. We've said our goodbyes just in case but who knows how long she'll hang on?

merlot and (((hugs)))

What a comfort to your Mum, seeing you and your DD. You're in my thoughts merlot

I do admire your attitude Merlot. I would like to think that when my time comes, my daughter will have the same thoughts

Hugs and Merlot