Living with other people's mess (long)

You're welcome.

Agus found it thank you Feel better now!

on my iPad key board it appears on the top line along with []%^*+= signs Press grey 123 key then grey key above with #+= signs.

But this is where I feel really old. I can't find star on my keyboard as I could on the laptop. So embarrassed!!

Type the word you want between two * of these annsixty Don't leave a space between *and your word.

I actually feel very stupid because I now use an i-pad and I don't know how to do "bold"on it as I did on the laptop.Help please.

Too tiny! ☺

☻

Just trying out some emoticons

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Put one of these * either side of the name. Leave no spaces.

Damn, got the wrong sort of bracket...

The instructions for the smileys are at the bottom of the page where you post. If you scroll down you'll see various smileys with an instruction as to what you do to get them, eg. type the word wink in square brackets and you get a winking smiley...... [wink}

I'd like someone to tell me how you get the name of someone highlighted/tagged so that you indicate you are replying to them when you post.

Thank you so much once again everyone for helping me find some perspective. I feel definitely moved on.

☺☺☺

Is it on the keyboard? My son mentioned it to me but I wasn't paying attention at the time.

Glad you had a good day.

Yes! How did you import that emoti?!

annie, just how do you get those tiny little smileys to appear?

(Glad you had a good day! )

Thank you Stansgran granjura, janerowena and everyone else. I am much buoyed up by the community here. I have had a nice day. Tea out with a couple of old friends then I chose an evening outing to a Hallowe'en event for the family - a visit to 'Nightmare Farm' where we entered a maze and were entertained by various scarey creatures leaping out at us. It was good fun and cheered us all up. Offending DD came and behaved and later said sorry for being so stroppy earlier in the week which is a big step. I shall follow up over the weekend with a bit of a talk I think.
I did also take myself off for the whole day yesterday which was at least a gesture towards a break to think about things. I'm not sure I can go away for longer just yet but I can manage another day next week.
So thank you very much for the listening ears and thoughtful responses, it's really helped. ☺️

I do hope you managed to have a nice day.

I think you need to get away somewhere for a bit and have a good think.

Happy birthday Annie- thinking of you + more 'flower + cake + wine + hugs

Didn't work

Hope you have a calm and pleasant birthday today Anniezzz09[flowerscakewine]

I'm really sorry to hear that you are feeling so unhappy. I'm afraid the situation you describe would drive me mad too.

Your 23 year old daughter would probably be better sharing a house with friends or something - for her own benefit and for yours. It really isn't acceptable her being so unhelpful and slovenly. I also think it is inexcusable for her to have hit you - and your husband at least should have backed you up on that. I can understand why you get so fed up with his passive approach and it seems that it is this that is really causing the rift in your marriage, rather than an actual dislike of him.

As you are feeling so upset, perhaps as others have said, it would be a good idea to get away for a week or so and let them get on with it. Perhaps before going you should say (calmly and firmly) that if things don't change at home - and give brief details of those things that most annoy you - you will leave for good because the present situation is becoming unbearable for you. Like granjura says though, only say this is a practical proposition which you are absolutely prepared to carry through.

Thank you so much people, do appreciate your input. I do sometimes explode though I know that's not helpful and I'm better than ever at NOT doing it. The DD living at home has always been sulky and stormy. I've lost count of the things she's broken, her room has a wardrobe door still with broken panels whi h she kicked in one day when she was angry. DH is afraid of upsetting her and everyone else (she has a twin sister) just roll their eyes when they hear it going on. It's a very effective tactic for getting her way.
We're not reality tv level yet I do assure you but sometimes I feel full of despair.

Aghh I really feel for you. Now just wondering, could you afford going away for a few days to get 'your head (and heart) back together? Somewhere you love, fave mountains, town or seaside- or a friend's- Remain calm make sure you don't scream or lose it- but say as much as you love them- you have to get away for a while- and say, quietly but firmly- that you expect the house, and each and every room to be clean and tidy when you get back- and that it will have to remain so from then on.

Some of us bottle and bottle up- and then explode- and all goes back to square one, until it happens again. Don't let the pattern establish itself, or continue to be so. My OH is a wonderful man- but he is also an 'appeaser' and I know just how infuriating this can be. When daughters were teenager, I had to be the ogre- when I sometimes was desperate for him to take charge. There are historical reasons in his family why he became an appeaser, or disapperared to his office when the going gets tough- but even so, at times I could ahve throttled him. Fortunately his other qualities more than make up for this- and I know I am so lucky.

Don't make threats you are not prepared to carry out. Tell us how you get on- thinking of you.

Well stated Stansgran I do think a large helping of respect needs to be shown by DDs and short sharpe words,I know how bad glandular fever can affect young adults but that does not stop her being responsible for her own space.My DD has always been neat & tidy but her brothers where the worst you could imagine and I made it my business to go into their rooms every day when they lived at home to tidy up and open windows after all it was my house and they lived there under my rules,now the both of them are very houseproud and help 50/50 with anything that needs doing.
Have you & OH ever thought of moving to a 1 bed apartment where no one can stay and the housework is a doddle to do,that was the best choice we ever made,makes for stressfree living.