Daughter-in-law problems....

Have your own little party with him when your son brings him round. Tell your son in advance that you will be doing it. Perhaps make it lunchtime. Make or buy the best little birthday cake you can manage, get some party ring biscuits and some crisps. Make a lovely jelly to have with ice cream.

After the food have the present opening. (Buy some little things as well as the main pressie - pound shop?)

Do not take no from your son when you tell him you are doing it. Tell him either Saturday or Sunday will be fine.

Give it a try. Good luck.

Talking to your son may make the situation worse, after all he already knows you are not invited and is going along with DILs wishes. You may be seen as trying to put a wedge between then. Oh walking on eggshells is hard! X

you have all my sympathy. I feel DH and I are heading the same way. The hurt is almost unbearable. I could give sensible advice that's in my head, but my heart doesn't seem to listen. [hugs] x

God that's horrible. I agree with Teetime...it's time for a serious talk with your son.

That said I never get invited to my grandchildren's parties because my ex will be there. My girls invite him to everything because they believe he needs them more than I do. A fallacy of course but he's a very manipulative man and I can see why they fall for it.

Oh Dear this is very sad for you - can you Skype him or send him a text or e-mail on the day? when he is old enough he will be able to come and visit you on his own perhaps. In the meantime I think I would try to have a serious conversation with your son as this isn't doing your grandson any good. Best wishes for an improvement to this situation.