Widowhood.

I think my problem is I worry about not feeling well on a trip. I think we both have done a lot of caring and when we stop and look around - well there's no-one there for us.

We had the car so we could stop when we wanted to for the loo something to eat etc., We were in our own little world and we supported each other. We met when I was 18 and DH was coming up for 21.

I have a friend also widowed who had the exact different reaction to me. She goes away on her own, to London even. I do admire her and wish I could be like her but she is very kind and tells me we are all different. We are the same age.

Like you I have never gone anywhere on my own except for once when I was 21 I traveled home on my own on a train, after spending a holiday with my auntie in Weymouth and once I took two of my sons to Kensington to the Science Museum. I remember being apprehensive on both occasions, so maybe the nervousness has always been there.

Give another trip a go Nannieroz. I did enjoy the trip to Usk and nothing bad happened.

falconbird the last few years we went on coach trips together. I have never gone anywhere on my own in my entire life. I researched some short trips last week. I found one I thought looked interesting, grasped the mettle, phoned the tour op and guess what? that particular trip was sold out. I'm afraid I lost my nerve after that and I haven't looked at holidays since.

Did something happen on your little jaunt to un-nerve you?

Did you go on a coach trip on your own nannieroz or with your DH?

There are some wonderful trips on offer with various groups. Some museums in some areas run them.

Also Saga have longer holidays for singles and couples.

I hope I will be able to go on a few trips one day soon. Not longer after my DH died I went on a trip to USK. I had quite a nice day out but since then I've not been able to manage it.

Dds birthday on Friday. I must go and get a card for her.

Phew!! close call....I had forgot to notify " Her Maj" about my mum n dads Diamond wedding, I was in charge of notifying them, but with being ill etc I had completely forgot!! you can only do it so far in advance (wipes sweat from brow)

Falcon yes let's do keep Llandudno in our minds, it would be something to aim for, would be a bit of planning as were all from different parts of the country, I too wish I had a magic wand to wave over us all, it takes time for us to be able to do things on our own after doing everything with DH or Partner.
It's times like this I wish we all lived nearer then we could support each other in our own way.

There are coach holidays to Llandudno, Shearings/Robinsons but I supose you have different coach firms where ever you live, etc I think they used to do 3/4/5 days, I've only travelled on a coach once to Birmingham Tattoo with DH, ohh the journey home took forever, we set off about 11-30 am it was well after 8-30 pm when we got home, they went around the houses dropping everyone off and we seem to be the last ones, so Iv not been on one since.

Falcon you are right, grief does effect everyone very different, I have know families that have split up after a bereavement and argued and been upset, I can only put it down to the distress and shock that everyone goes through, and then of course it goes on and on until it gets that it's just gone on too long to rectify, but let's live in hope that things will improve at some time.

Photos, well! some of mine are a little ancient, so I am trying to start to put dates on them when I remember, because if we ever do! meet face to face, I don't want you walking past that little old lady sat in the corner (thinking well! that's not bikergran)

You sound organised buying birthday cards, I am usualy running to the shop at the last minute, I wouldn't mind but we do get 12 months notice don't we. we have my mum and dad' Diamond wedding soon ohhhh drat!!! just rem something....be back later.

I understand what you mean about doing everything together....... we were just the same. I do drive, however I am not the confident driver DH was and would be nervous about driving out of my comfort zone. I have been on a number of coach holidays (not to Llandudno ) and thought that might be a good way to get there, stay overnight for a couple of nights, then driven back home again by someone else. I realise you are nervous of travel and I wish I had a magic wand and could solve all our problems. Family differences are such a drain on your heart....... I've got those too!

I'm in the W country as well. Im in Portishead. Where are you Falcon?

I would love to travel but the problem is when my husband retired we went absolutely everywhere together in the car. We took our time and traveled all over the UK. It was fun. We went as far down as Land's End and as far north as Glasgow.

We got so used to each other's company and I can't bear to go too far now that he's gone.

Also I don't drive. But I think the Llandudno idea is great. I live in the W Country so it's a long way for me and I'd have to work out trains etc.,

Let's definitely keep it in mind.

Hope your days go well. I'm off to buy birthday cards and a rug for my hall.

The baby in the photo is now 4 years old! My husband did live to see her but sadly the second grand daughter was born after he passed away. Even more sadly, after DH died my youngest and oldest son fell out big time, so the little cousins have never met.

Just over two years ago we were a happy family. Grief does terrible things to people.

Stay strong.

Great photos falconbird. Well done for persevering and uploading them. Maybe some time in the future you may feel ready to travel.

Have fun to day biker ....... don't know where your energy comes from!

oh meant to say about the "captions" you are better putting the captions on as you put each photo on.... with me I had to move the photo I wanted to add the caption to, to the bottom of the page (or just use the photo that you already have at the bottom) click on the "edit photo) add your caption in the BIG box, then go to where it says position and click "top" then click save (just on the bottom where it says save/delete) see how you go good luck.

Ohh Falcon well done (yes it can get frustrating for the brain at times)
your photos are lovely, how nice to be able to put a face to a name and I will now picture your lovely smiling face when I post you both look very smart (and baby too)

Llandudno! well who knows, I must say it was going round in my head last night and Iv even looked at trains and how to get to Llandudno via train form here, bit of a long winded journey but would be worth it, I'm used to driving there so would have to have a think if it ever came up.
I hope that you will manage to overcome your phobia, and just take your time.

I suppose I had better go and get dressed, DD is moving house (again) soon so it's all hands to the deck.

have a decent day all

Hi Grans,

I managed to upload some pics after a lot of sighing and struggling. I can't seem to find the button for adding a comment. Anyway the photos were taken at my youngest son's wedding some years ago, so we're all dressed up and I've aged by a few years

I will try and add a few more when my brain stops hurting.

The meeting in Llandudno sounds really really lovely but I've still got agoraphobia (shock of grief) but - maybe in time.... It would be lovely and very healing.

Great idea sewsilver. I'm not up to driving to Llandudno but would make every effort to get there if a meet up was arranged. What d'ya think ladies?

Lovely photos biker. Another one to add to the coincidences here ,DH and I had several wonderful weekends in Llandudno in the couple of years before he died. We chose to go there because it was fairly flat down by the beach and easier for him to get around. I too haven't been able to face going back there yet. Perhaps we should think of having a bereaved grans weekend away in Llandudno then we can all support one another with it?
I am hoping that when I finally return to my home once builders have moved out I can find my photos of DH. I am worried that I'm beginning to forget what he looked like.

nannieroz11 You can share photos either on your profile or I think there is a thread (pictures) unless Iv dreamt it! it depends if you want to keep them private or shared, as I believe others anywhere can view them if you don't keep them private. I'm sure there is a way round and we can sort it out whichever way you want to do it when your ready to.

Time sure does fly! We were in Llandudno on 7 November 2010. Stayed in the Marine Hotel. Our next visit was 27 September 2013, stayed in the Hydro.
I've got some lovely pics I wish I knew how to share with you. Beautiful views of Llandudno. Oh happy days

Oh gosh!! it sys 2007!! surley not soooo..long ago

nannieroz we also had been married for 44 years!!!!!!

I will have to do likewise bikergran. I'm almost certain we stayed in the Marine in 2010 but I will check and report back.

nannie we stayed at the Marina myself, dh and my mum and dad, cant just think when it was may have been 2010, I have photo here somewhere of DH, my dad and brother sat outside the Marina Im sure, I shall now go and hunt it down and put it on my profile, or it will bug me all night.

falconbird can't believe the similarities in our backgrounds. We had been married 44 years, DH was 67 when he passed. On our last little jaunt we went to Newquay and I noticed then how thin and slow he had become. That was 4 months before he died. I think we GN's are very lucky to have had such loving husbands. ((((hugs))))

Falcon I shall await with baited breath for your photos
Hey! 2012, just think we could have passed each other, who knows!
Hope you found some comfort from your bereavement group, as for a sudden death, or long term, I really don't know, I only know that even though DH had been ill for many yrs on n off, it still felt and feels like some one hit me on the back of the head with a sledgehammer then ripped half my heart out, it effects each of us in different ways. Perhaps we can chat about Llandudno sometime..

Let's have a virtual "opening ceremony" bikergran cheers!

I have checked and our last visit to Llandudno was late Sept/early October 2013. We stayed in the Hydro Hotel and had a lovely time. The time before that we stayed in the Marine, hotel not that memorable, however, we met some lovely couples and enjoyed our stay immensely. Lovely memories for all of us I'm sure. Your photos are great.

Biker - I'm going to try the photos tomorrow.

My cousin lived in Lancs., she was a Health Visitor for many years in Liverpool. I really miss her. She lived in Saint Helen's and I visited her there many times.

I agree that people come into your life at times of need. We were walking about in Llandudno in 2012. I wonder if you or nannieroz were there at that time.

We have discussed in the bereavement group which is worse - losing a dear one suddenly or after a long illness. We decided that it's always a terrible shock no matter how it happens.

hug