Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 4

It's a shame you posted such thoughtless things In first place especially to yogagirl.

I want nothing more to do with this thread or the people who habitually post on it. I will.not be responding to any of your posts so there's no point in you continuing to address anything to me.

Thank you to all those who have spoken up for me and PMd, it was much appreciated.

Anya no one can say their pain is greater or lesser than anyone else's and should not try to.

No one wants to hurt or upset anyone intentionally, surely ?
Some of the posts come across as provoking bad feeling.

We don't. Need that you would do well to read smileless post.

There is no need to adopt a holier than thou attitude. Why come onto these thread just to stir up trouble.

Thanks for your concern, I've had an ok day today trying to process yesterday and to relax and get myself back onboard. I did listen to Mike Sweeny earlier and he played Nina Simone, I ain't got/I got life and it was very apt so tonight I have ordered a copy off ebay to play if I feel down about it all. I have got my arms/legs/liver/heart etc. and my freedom.

We should not feel guilty about having divorced from our childrens fathers. In my case he was violent. Would they have rather I stayed and get punched and throttled? I do know my ED was angry with me for even thinking of moving away with a former partner when she was settled with DGS 1. We were talking Scotland, not Outer Mongolia. But I do think both mine would have been happy if I'd taken a vow of never talking to another man again ever. Like that was going to happen, I'm too much of a chatterbox.

I haven't heard anything today and I haven't got in touch either. I will leave it to lie for a while. She answered the phone to hang up on me so the number is still the same, that much I have.

I do feel like I am empty of emotion. I need a good long break to refuel, to be around people who are kind (like on here ). Even news stories are too much to take in, sad storied on like X factor or DIY SOS. It's like keep kicking an animal, I need a kind RSPCA inspector to take me in and Paul O'Grady to sit in my kennel and stroke me, offer me treats. It's hard to cope with being treated like this and with illnesses too. If she knows, and she does, that she is treating me like this, and all the time knows that my breathing is really bad, then I am not sure at this time that I do want anything to do with her. It is cruel to do this to me. She knows I will be worried.

If they had got married, I would have been glad for them, but also I would have put it all behind me and moved on with my life for good. I would have known that they were committed to each other and their children and that would be enough.

Either way, getting married or it getting cancelled, they would and have done it without me being involved or depended on. It just shows to me that I am now surplus to requirements. I will then focus my attention now (God only knows she has had more than her share over the years) on trying to feel better, my doggie and my dad. Maybe if I's have given my children less attention and not been so "there" all the time, morning, noon and night, then my health would not be as bad as what it is, I don't know. But they have both been draining on me, especially when it's just one parent trying to make up for absent dad and rest of family who haven't cared much.

It would have been my 30th Wedding Anniversary tomorrow (14th). So another day to get through. Planned again to go and see my dad with the afformentioned Champagne and a giant Mr. Kipling's Fancy. Corrie in style tomorrow.

Anyway, I hope you all have a better day, take a deep breath and say to yourself that you are worth more than they are giving right now and then go and do something nice for yourself. Take care, all of you. Xxx

Yogagirl Read anya's post of 18:24:19 again and use your sensitivity as carefully on behalf of someone else as you use it for yourself. You are quick to see cruelty in posts where it was never meant. Can you see it in your own?

If you can see how easily a post can be misunderstood, please remember that you may mistakenly see other posts as being hurtful when they are not so. If you use your prickles to defend yourself too readily, they can become weapons to attack.

When people do not know the personal circumstances of other GN members they really should refrain from nasty and unkind remarks. We all have things in our lives that we do not care to share with people we do not know and this really should be taken into account before we post.

Just my son is in contact with his dad even though their relationship is all ranting and raving communication.im okay with his dad now.
My stepson who told his MIL that he has issues from childhood with his dad has not seen or talked to us or let us see his two boys. I'm begging my husband to communicate and make the first move but the he is so hurt especially since his wife said her boys deserved a better grandfather because we didn't see hers enough. That's because we stopped regularly sitting not being able to take care of in laws in their 90's ( my husband's an only child)and my mom who was hospitalized three times that year. Yet they NEVER come over during the ten weeks of their summer break. We always took our kids to see their grandparents. We offered to sit for them on their school breaks but no go. Someday I will have a chance to tell those boys the truth. Do I have any legal rights to see those kids? In some of the states there are grandparent rights. I will have to look into it.

Yogagirl could I ask you to ask GN to delete your post at 18.45 please?

Thank you so much for clearing that up for us "yogagran* I too am a quiet, peace loving person, that avoids confrontation, so we are peas in a pod ;-)

I'd just like to butt in briefly to this sad thread and point out that there are two of us with very similar names on GN. I am yogagran and I'm a quiet, peace loving person who avoids confrontation if at all possible

Why don't you answer my question then??

Don't try saying anything nice - it's too late for that. You haven't read or understood any of my posts.

That much is obvious.

Agreed, Ana. And I really don't see why Anya is under attack anyway. She made no "accusations" that I can see.

You're being unbelievably crass, Yogagirl

A bit of sensitivity wouldn't go amiss!

Anya I take it from your last post that you haven't actually lost or been estranged from your child or grandchildren??
When I first came back on here this afternoon, I was going to say something nice to you, as I thought you must have lost your own child or GC, and that was the reason for your anger, but I then read your latest post!

rhinestone I feel your pain, I really do ))hugs(( If your boys are now back in contact with their dad, I would say there is a good chance he is poisoning their minds against you, hard to get your head round that one I know, when he was the one out of order My estD dad walked out on us when she was 3yrs old, he paid no maintenance, but I still let him see the C, he would see them a few times per year, now once every 3-5yrs as he lives in Indonesia. When my EstD was going to marry and they heard her dad may come over for it (but only if a family member gave him an all expenses paid trip) her now husband said if he turned up at their wedding he would 'knock him out!" , so now guess who's daddy of the year? via Skype of course

Jane it's watching the unbearable grief of the parents and not being able to take any of their pain away.

Oh child of my child

No yogagirl not my DGC but within my extended family.

Thank you Jane for your sensitive and understanding post. You certainly understand the pain of losing a child or grandchild.

I too can see no 'accusation' merely a question and can see how misunderstandings can occur when people cannot distinguish between a question and an accusation.

janeansworth your post brought a tear to my eye, I take it you have lost your GC, so my deep condolences to you.
I too wonder how my GC are doing at school, the pain I felt when my darling Laila had her first day at school was immense! I will never know these thing either. Read again what Anya accused us of at the bottom of page 15

Anya take a look at what you accused us of on page 15, I won't even repeat or copy&paste it's that bad!!

Exactly Anya you said it 'you haven't the faintest idea!!'

I understand, we bought up our son to be better than how he is now but us, like you are only responsible for the way we raised them, not for what they've become.

Both my parents married 3 times, your stepson isn't a child he needs to grow up. Like ours, if there is a genuine reason(s) for their abandonment of us then they should man up and say what it is. We've had nothing but lies, the re writing of history and a complete fabrication of the way his life was with us.

I do hope you will keep posting and sharing. This thread has been a life line for me and others. You will always find some one who understands and will be there for you. Take care.

Thank you Smileless for your u see standing and kind words. I think what's I'm angry about most is that I brought up my son better than this. My mom is bipolar and when she gets manic she can say things to me but I still speak to her and have saved her from herself many times. But to be mad at us and not tell us why is cruel. I would do anything to have a conversation and clear things up but they don't want to give USA chance. And what's weirder yet is that my stepson is 45 years old. How long is he going to harbor childhood feelings about his dad and not talk it over with him?
I'm still in shock over both boys doing this to us. Maybe thishassonething to do with us both being previously divorced but we have been married over 26 years and together over thirty.
I'm trying to have my own life like the therapist says but it's hard.