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Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 4

(1001 Posts)
celebgran Tue 03-Mar-15 15:22:38

Will this be ok any ideas welcome smileless and yogagirl please chip in.

celebgran Wed 20-May-15 17:48:40

Great see you both posting was feeling alone sad

Yogagirl our son I like that he hates me talking about Tor or mollie or anything to do with it all. They don't know what to say and can't fix it I guess.

So glad turkey was good!

flowers for jack birthday, so very sad, Are you catholic yogagirl ?
Mean about candle. I am catholic so sad our priest died at weekend. Only 74 only went to mass last wed.

I took Gra to work early 8am!! Did grocery shop, bless he just rang is getting bus back he is I. Clacton today extra day.

I was very productive and also bought new skirt and sandals after groceries! Skirt was reduced from 20 to 14 grin

Smileless lucky girl it is cold and wet and awful here went out with rose justmnow and scuttled back!

Good news Gra back lot better we went folk dancing Monday grin is such laugh.

Smileless I think Rosie wouldn't say go leave me! Heard from her sitter she can do nov so will let Gra think is his idea of course.grin

Was Tor wedding anniversary yesterday made me sad, 9 years ago she seemed to want me and looked lovely In wedding dress I bought her.
Guess the family she married into not so lovely,specially s I law.

Oh well worker home soon tea all prepared veg soup, salmon fillets new pots, green veg, followed by home made rhubarb crumble (tiny one) rhubarb from garden brag brag. X

Smileless2012 Wed 20-May-15 14:33:41

I wonder if it'll still be available on catch up when I get home, but we're still in Florida for another 5 days. Another nan living down the same roadhmm she has my sympathy it's a bloody nightmare being so close.

It's great to hear from you Yogagirl I'm glad the retreat went well, it's been really hot here too the whole time we've been here. DH says it's a bit too much for him but I've told him he's going to miss it when we get back home.

Life is full of contradictions isn't it. Your ND doesn't want to talk about it, our NS does but we can't discuss it with him as he is either unwilling or unable to see anything from our point of viewconfused.

Canaries sounds great Celebgran, don't worry about little Rosie I'm sure she'd tell you to get it booked if she could.

Yogagirl Wed 20-May-15 09:56:35

Just watched this morning on catch up KatyK so sad, but no one separated from their S or D too, one nan living down the same road too!

Yogagirl Wed 20-May-15 08:39:47

Just spoke with my ND on the phone and said about it being Jacks birthday, but she just doesn't want to know, doesn't want to speak of them anymore and she quickly changed the subject back onto my holiday. She has said that they are no longer in our lives and we must forget them and move on, she has, but I can't, especially today :'(

Yogagirl Wed 20-May-15 08:06:21

Just read your post smileless regarding your letter to your NS. It's really difficult isn't it, as your afraid of falling out with your other S, as I am with my ND. I'm fortunate in the fact that my ND has been cut out too, so we are allies together.
Thanks for that KatyK, it is upsetting watching, but even so I would have liked to have seen it, I think I was sunning myself on the Iztutu beach at the time :-)
Small world Celebgran isn't it. I find it hard leaving my little dog Lilly, but my neighbour really looks after her well, he even left me some milk on my step on the day i got back, unfortunately I didn't see it :-(
flowers for all xx

Yogagirl Wed 20-May-15 07:25:22

Morning everyone
Got back yesterday (4am) from my yoga retreat in Turkey, had great yoga & great fun too! Lovely weather, really hot :-) Had my usual yoga class last night, so feeling fatigued today.
It's my little Jacks birthday today, he is 4yrs, I lit a candel for him, after all the happiness of my yoga holiday, I get back to this unhappiness :'(
Haven't read the post yet, but hope you enjoyed the rest of your holiday in Florida smileless Hope you're OK Celebgran
petra shoebury is close by me! Need a cuppa, then I'll be back to the the posts.....

celebgran Fri 15-May-15 23:12:56

Hope yogagirl having fun I. Turkey smileless you got me looking at hoidaysmshock what will Rosie say?

Wondered about week I. Canaries sept or nov, mmm have to see if can get Rosie sitter!

Hard leave end now she 12

celebgran Fri 15-May-15 23:11:12

Thanks katyk kind you to tell us.

Sadly think smiless right it is all in hands of parents.

Weekend started well hand fasting blood test at new doctors.
Lunch out with good friend yesterday never believe it I knew her husband was doctor never met him, we met at college when doing anatomy and physiology for my massage therapy. Guess what he is only the gp who sadly left our practice he was so kind and helpful. Couldn't believe it!

Just seen my hero Dominic Kirwan at our local theatre we seeing him next month too at Potters hurray!

Wow sounds like treads are good in Florida smileless! Enjoy!
Treated myself to blo dry today and had same hairdresser for over 10 years she tries be kind about Tor today she asked if we heard from Tor inlaws no we didn't, and she said I don't know how your will ever get over it, that was sad, I answered we won't just have do our best and focus on the good stuff
I am struggling a bit still,sad

Smileless2012 Fri 15-May-15 21:46:16

Happy Friday everyone. I hope you all have a good weekend with whatever you are planning to do. Mine's started well as we've played a game of crazy golf and for the first time ever it was a tiesmile, helped by the fact that DH took 7 shots on one holegrin. He's a good golfer and naturally competitive, even checked that the putter he'd picked up was the right lengthhmm.

We had lunch at an Ihop and as I was having a craving for something sweet, I ordered a chocolate milkshake and crepes with sliced banana and nutellasmile, trouble was I couldn't eat it all. DH had some and there was still nearly half of it left, still imagine the amount of calories I'd have consumed if I had managed to eat it all.

The 'phone in sounds as if it was well worth listening too KatyK but in all honesty I don't see how things will ever change for estranged grandparents if the parent(s) of their grandchildren want to keep them awaysad.

Here's somecupcakewineflowersand of coursesunshineto help you enjoy your weekend. I'm sending you some warmer temperatures too; it's been in the mid 90's here more or less since we arrived; un seasonally warm according to the weather channel. Not that I'm complaining but it's very hot, even in the shade.

KatyK Thu 14-May-15 14:08:48

celebgran - yes it was upsetting but there was a phone in afterwards where they were trying to advise people going through this and also a daughter-in-law rang in to say why she had stopped her in-laws seeing the children. The conclusion of the piece was that, as I'm sure you know, grandparents have no rights but the person giving the advice said that there seems to be a slight shifting of this and things may change in the future.

Smileless2012 Thu 14-May-15 13:23:43

The majority of publicity surrounding this issue, and there doesn't seen to be a great deal, usually focuses on grand parents who have lost contact because their child's relationship has broken down. There is little said about grand parents whose own children have denied them contact.

Speaking of which, do you know when the article you contributed too is going to print Yogagirl?

Well I hope your day is going well so far ladies, mine hasn't really got going yet as it's only 8.20 but the sun is out, the sky is blue and I'm sitting outside by our pool as I type.

Here's some more Floridasunshinefor you all. I hope the weather back home has improved and that you are having a wonderful time in Turkey Yogagirl. I think you should be thinking about another holiday Celebgran if only to keep up with me and Yogagirlgrin.

celebgran Wed 13-May-15 17:36:32

Katyk a friend told me it was about the couple who went to court over their granddaughters going to Australia after relationship breakdown I refer not to watch stuff like that too upsetting thanks though

KatyK Wed 13-May-15 11:06:37

Not sure if it will be of any interest/help to anyone but the phone in on This Morning today is about grandparents having difficulties with access to their grandchildren. About 11.30 I think.

celebgran Tue 12-May-15 13:06:25

Morning smileless I.need lots sunshine feeling. Very low today.
Article In.mail about Grandparents whose grandchildren. We t Australia after
After parents split made me cry just on low!

Could be June 8th looming mollie 7th birthday.

Got lady nails do at 2 so better feed me and Rosie first, did. Make acquacise.

Sent you pm so sorry is difficult with your sons In contact one problem I don't have.

Carry on having great time and yogagirl enjoy that Turkish sun too x

Smileless2012 Mon 11-May-15 14:02:10

Morning ladies, although it's afternoon where you are isn't it. I hope you all managed to have a good weekend. Sounds like you did Celebgransmilebut it must have been a difficult one for you Yogagirl as it was Laila's bday on Fridaysad. I know I'm a bit late but thought someflowerswould help to cheer you up and make a nice start to your week.

Fancy petra seeing your birthday wishes in the local paper having read your post on this thread, it really is a small world isn't it. It's a lovely idea but I can only imagine the fall out if we were to do the same.

I foolishly wrote to DS in Aus. having sent him a link to the 'My Child Forever' video I told all of you about. I tried to explain to him why we've taken the decision we have to not contact our ES in any way as we want to move on. It's not any easy thing to do as we all know and made so much harder with them living so close. Because he's invited us to Aus for Christmas when the new baby is due, as he knows how hard it's going to be for us, I really believed we'd had something of a break through but the last 2 days have proved me wrongsad.

It's still all our fault. He reiterated our ES's list of 'grievances' which I've told him over and over again are always present in any relationship and even if added together don't justify his treatment of us. He as ever, ignores the two elephants in the room; our son cutting us out of his life and taking away our only grandchildconfused.

I'd hoped that writing to one another rather than talking about it would enable us to have reasonable discourse but this is clearly not going to be the case so I emailed him yesterday and agreed with him that we should not attempt to discuss it any more.

We've never expected him to take 'our side' but he's an intelligent and insightful young man and I still can't understand why he lays all of the blame at our door.

"Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Sometimes, however, it's the place where we find the deepest heartache*. Seldom are truer words ever spoken Yogagirl.

Well enough moaning. We are having a wonderful time here in Florida and still have another 2 weeks to go. I hope Gra's back is feeling a little better Celebgran it's good that anything serious has been ruled out but the constant discomfort must be getting him down.

Sorry to hear about your toe, you really should take more water with yourwinegrin.

I know the weathers been awful so here's somesunshinefor you all.

petra Mon 11-May-15 12:51:51

Hi Yogagirl. I live in Shoebury.

celebgran Sat 09-May-15 21:57:37

Yogagirl didn't realise you on f book have sent you pm xx

Yogagirl Sat 09-May-15 20:01:38

If you look on my FB page the photo of my GD Laila, from the same photo but cropped so it's just her, is clear & really lovely of her!

Yogagirl Sat 09-May-15 19:26:14

Thank you petra where do you live? x

petra Sat 09-May-15 15:52:54

Yogagirl. Although the pic isn't clear I can still see what beautiful children they are :-) x

Yogagirl Sat 09-May-15 13:28:47

Hello petra
Yes that would be my advert, they took out the bit about stepfamily and put
'Love from your nannie D' so I've asked them to change it when it goes into the S standard next week to; 'your ever loving nannie D' as I would never put 'from' I wouldn't even put 'from' to my friends, but they changed it to that to get rid of the stepfamily bit.
As I said before, the picture was the one that my neighbours daughter downloaded & printed for me, which I put straight in the draw when she'd left, as I couldn't bare to look at it! It's not a very clear picture in the paper as I took a picture of the print, but after all that I've actually put the pic in a nice frame, when my ND see's it on the coffee table she'll say "Mum!" as she had told me to put the other pics of my GC away, as she said "It's upsetting you mum, to look at them every day!" which was true. I still kept the beautiful one in the hallway & on my bedroom bookcase though.
My EstD & GC live in [removed by GNHQ] so we live just 5mins apart! Glad you saw it petra flowers
Hope the doctor sorted out your hubbys back Celebgran & hope your toe is OK now, silly you lol flowers

celebgran Fri 08-May-15 18:16:24

Yogagirl lots and lots of flowers
So sorry is tough for you and I can understand only too well will be in bits on mollie birthday.

Thinking of you stiff glass wine from me.

Took Gra to new doctor I stubbed my toe he wanted me come in with him lol
He actually saw male nurse who was helpful ruled out,urgent stuff so guess what wait another 2 weeks then refer for physio if not better, x

petra Fri 08-May-15 16:23:20

Yogagirl. Did I see a message from you to your DGC wishing them a happy birthday in the Southend Echo. Are you local to Southend, or are the children. Strange that I should see that today after seeing your post here.

Yogagirl Fri 08-May-15 09:07:44

Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Sometimes, however, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache.

Yogagirl Fri 08-May-15 08:02:07

My !little Laila's 5th birthday today, think my heart is going to stop :'(
When I opened the curtains this morning, everything was so eerily still, as it was before the tsunami & I thought 'it's because it's Laila's birthday :'(
On Laila's 2nd birthday, I went round & there was no bunting up, no cake, no cards or presents! Of course I had brought all of this with me & made a big fuss of her, along with my ND too. I asked my D why? & she said they would celebrate with Jack together, which was almost two weeks away! I think (hope) that maybe 'he' had said wait till he gets home and they would celebrate with his family only (I don't know that, to this day)

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