DIL is a challenge

Baby is three weeks old! She is probably dead beat. Maybe she wanted a bit of time to herself, and feeding the baby was an excellent excuse for removing herself from the room. I have done it myself!

As G2 says, if she pickes up on your disapproval of her, which looks as though it was there well before baby arrived, your visit will have been stressful for a mum who is only just finding her own routine.

She is your son's wife, what is his is hers. They must find their own balance of living. You can't impose yours. Look for her good points and emphasise those to yourself. She has lots, even if you have not noticed them yet. You brought up your son well, surely he has the ability to pick a suitable wife for himself?

Insecurity, a touch of PND, sensing you don't understand the relationship they have - maybe she isn't the person you would have chosen, but I think you have to accept her, or you will drive your DS away.

I would never have picked my own SiL, but know that my DD loves him dearly, so plaster the biggest smile on my face ever when I see him. I suspect it's how so many nationalities came to choose partners for their DCs by tradition!

Oh dear. Well now you've got it off your chest here, do take some time to reflect . Mishaps advice is excellent. You have said some things that really me - for example 'your son's money' Really? The baby is only 3 weeks old -I wonder if she picks up on your disapproval of her? Be careful - think about the long term.

She's a new first time Mum - maybe you need to cut her a bit of slack for a bit. She sounds anxious and frightened. Don't write her off yet - you have many years of enjoyment with your new grandchild to come if you play it right at this stage.

It will not have done anything for her confidence that the babe fell asleep for the MIL!!! You are going to have to be tactful here - but above all accept that she is your son's choice and do all you can to affirm that and not undermine it.