As opposed to the post by Nellybu I am on the other end of scale. I have a DD who has a partner and child. The DD works but the partner does not. The child is at school. I never go to the house without an invitation. If I am asked to babysit I usually manage to do so. If I am asked to help with other household stuff I do my best.
Recently I wanted some help to carry out some heavier stuff to the street to be picked up by the binmen. That is the arrangement, if it is out on the street the binmen will take it away. Anyway I asked for this help from DD
The partner is a difficult person and is also a drug user. He is very manipulative and is constantly texting DD. She claims that she is fed up of it and had thrown him out and he is staying in a homeless hostel. Any time I have been at the house in the last couple of weeks he has been there.
I had to wait 3 weeks as she was helping her partners sister to move house. This girl has mum, dad, sister, 2 brothers, two late teen boy cousins, a boyfriend and the boyfriends family.
A week ago I was asked to babysit and although I had plans I cancelled that and went to babysit. This was so that DD could work. The partner was apparently in the hostel and cant stay out late.
This weekend I was over at DD house hanging wallpaper. The partner was there. He sat while I hung paper and was up and down ladders. He moaned about the quality of the paperhanging. I am not a qualified painter and decorator! I was there two days running. All the time I was there this man did nothing. When I mentioned it to DD she said she did not want him to do anything. He never once offerred in my presence.
Then on Monday I asked DD if she was free to give a hand at my house. She came over drank some tea then announced that she needed to borrow money apparently for DGC club fees and for petrol. I said that we would get her petrol after we got the items out. Then she announced that she could not help me and left.
During the time she was here he text several times. I realise that I was stupid to given her money. I have been unfuriated by this partner's abuse of me. I have not liked the way he has treated other members of our wider family. He was caught telling lies to my DD about what my EXH said at Christmas. I know he is a maniputive waste of space who needs his backside well and truly kicked into touch.
He blames his mother's drug taking for the way he is but he is going to turn my DGC out the same as him if he does not square up now.
My DD is the one most involved here but I also feel totally abused by him and his conduct. He is not liked. It is not my age, people my DD's age have also commented on his conduct. I am angry that I am expected not to say anything which would upset him or his sister but they are allowed to do and say anything no matter how it affects me.
I dont think this is right. I have put my foot in it by saying now that I will not part with any more money. I expect to be ignored now. I may have put my DD at further risk from this partner. I want my DD and DGC out of there but apparently I do not have the right. I am just expected to have my blood pressure put through the roof by someone I would not normally have in my life.
Interferrance goes more ways than we realise. I really can not stand this partner and I do not wish him near me but no doubt he will keep my daughter away from me. He forces her into all sorts with his manipulations and he does not like it when he got full barrels from a male in the family. There is no longer any communication between those sections of the family. My DD needs to get herself and her child out of that bxyz grip..
Sugarpufffairy Thu 04-Jun-15 02:23:46
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thatbags Thu 04-Jun-15 08:28:22
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