Gransnet forums

Relationships

Family being torn apart by granddaughter being adopted

(60 Posts)
jinglbellsfrocks Wed 22-Jul-15 13:55:01

I totally agree with shabby. This makes me so angry! There is no one like like a child's own family to bring that child up. Bloody interfereing busy-bodies. angry

shabby Wed 22-Jul-15 13:47:11

Apparently there is a 45 year rule nowadays and there cannot be a gap any bigger than that between the child and adult carer if social services are involved. As one female caller to the radio show I listened to pointed out she had a child late in life aged 48 so that makes the rule seem absurd. It would certainly have meant that my grandparents would have been ruled out of caring for me.

rosesarered Wed 22-Jul-15 13:45:42

Tragic situation, if the Grandparents are suitable but not allowed just because of age.58 is not exactly ancient.Poor little girl.

loopylou Wed 22-Jul-15 13:45:18

While I totally agree that that this is a very sad situation, I do wonder what other factors are involved. Certainly the 20 year old having a 90 'father', assuming he's still alive, poses questions in my mind.
I think Jane10's suggestion is a good compromise.

Ana Wed 22-Jul-15 13:41:34

It also seems very strange, and sad, that the child's mother will be 'allowed to see' photos of her daughter but not allowed to have copies...

shabby Wed 22-Jul-15 13:40:29

As far as I am aware there are not any other issues. At the court case in June the grandparents did not have legal representation as they couldn't afford it and they were not eligible for legal aid. However a lawyer has now taken up their case pro bono.

Jane10 Wed 22-Jul-15 13:37:50

Yes that's lovely for the grandparents. I do wonder however, about the little girl herself. Growing up with such increasingly elderly "parents" will set her apart from her peers. When she's 20 her Granddad will be 90. She could end up with very significant caring responsibilities at a very young age. Would a better compromise not be that she is adopted by younger parents but with guaranteed involvement with her grandparents just as other children have?

MiniMouse Wed 22-Jul-15 13:33:12

I feel the same as you, gillybob. It's good that the media has highlighted the case, but I do wonder about what other 'issues' there may be that we are not aware of.

gillybob Wed 22-Jul-15 13:19:20

I agree with you entirely shabby. Assuming there are no other "issues" with the grandparents then the little girl's place is with them, her family who love her unconditionally. Imagine growing up and wondering why your grandma and grandad didn't want you? I would fight tooth and nail for my grandchildren. Lets hope that the publicity makes for a change of mind or at the very least a case for reconsideration.

shabby Wed 22-Jul-15 13:06:51

I was listening to a discussion on the radio today about grandparents aged 58 and 70 being denied the opportunity to care for their granddaughter because they are 'too old'. Their daughter has mental health issues and has been sectioned. They desperately want to care for their only grandchild but social workers have deemed otherwise and she is to be adopted at the end of the month unless the decision can be reversed. Almost without exception all the callers into the radio show were on the side of the grandparents.

Roll back the years to the early 60s when my parents marriage broke up because of domestic abuse. My grandparents fostered me and my siblings and we were able to grow up in a loving and secure home surrounded by our own family and were able to maintain a wonderful loving relationship with our mother. The social workers who looked after our case even became family friends.

I would ask the council involved to please consider their decision and give the grandparents a chance and to let their granddaughter have the opportunity to have a family upbringing just like I did.

What do you think?