Alone for Christmas

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Two likeminded can share. My disabled cabin comes with twin beds and a sofa bed and is big enough to have a (small) orgy in.

Galen, that sounds the perfect answer to me, but oh that single supplement.

Sadiesnan, congratulations on doing so well after your diagnosis, you must all be thrilled. Have a wonderful Christmas Day and I am sure they will all rally round and help you.

Christmas and families brings all sorts of difficulties and obligations, so in order to cope, I've nurtured the idea that Christmas Day is just another day of the holidays and that a Christmas Day can happen at any time over the festive period.

So, to cope with my sons going to in-laws for Christmas, I always have a Christmas Day at my house on the Sunday before Christmas. We have a proper Christmas Day with presents, games, Turkey, pudding, the lot! It's worked extremely well and takes away any guilt my family may feel when they have to fulfil their obligations to their wives and their families on the actual day.

Let's face it, when our children marry or find life partners, they have duties and responsibilities to others, not just us. It's hard when you've been their number one person for so long, but they grow up and move on.

This year for the first time since they all moved on, they are all here on Christmas Day. I'm thrilled and panicking in equal measures as I have 14 to cook for.

As I had cancer diagnosed at the beginning of 2014, I think we're all thinking about the joy of spending another Christmas together, as I'm still here and doing well.

My own personal opinion on this is that Christmas is overrated - I have spent Christmas Day on my own in the past and will do so again in the future, have on occasion also shared it (out of a sense of obligation after having been invited) with people I would rather not have spent it with, and also with my dearly loved son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren.

Whatever way, it is just another day that can be spent as we see fit and I cannot see the point of getting oneself worked up over one single day, when it's the whole rest of the year that matters far more.

If you see enough of them any other time I would not worry too much about that one single day. Indulge yourself, do what you want, and look forward to your next meeting with your son.

It's to stop my darlings from feeling guilty at leaving me on my own while they visit his family that I go on cruises.
Nothing to do with being waited on hand and foot and the delicious food and drink.
Definitely not!

'Granny' you're my total hero. What an absolutely lovely thing to do!

DS1 and family are going to be with DiL's family in a big rented house this Christmas. I couldn't begrudge them this because they have taken their turn with me many times and DiL's parents have had a very rough time healthwise this year - and I like them very much. Luckily I also have DS2 and family though it's a bit of a crush in their house! They had hoped to be in a bigger house by now but their buyer pulled out at the last minute. Maybe next year...
J52 I expect every GP feels neglected at some point. Not at all. I am not, and have never felt, neglected. Much sympathy, though, for anyone who has this misfortune.

I do feel for you Suzie. I never realised how besotted I would be as a grandmother, as I wasn't that maternal all those years ago.

We help out looking after our two grandsons but recently the eldest started school and they don't need us quite as much. So about 5 weeks went without us seeing them (I do know to some people that it is not much time but to us it is) I began to get such an aching feeling of separation, especially when I spoke to the boys on the IPad and they said 'when are we going to see you again'.

I too felt jealous that the other grandparents were invited to see the eldest in the Nativity and we weren't . They do live much closer and it would have been an upheaval to go on that day.

So all in all it is the price we pay for being doting grandparents. Let's hope you can be with your little one in the New Year.

Suzieq I think your feelings are quite natural and to be expected. It is how we deal with the feelings of hurt that is important.

I expect every GP feels neglected at some point, Christmas makes it more acute.

Congratulations on your grandchild. I hope you have a lovely Skype on Christmas Day.

x

We were lucky enough to have our first grandchild this year. We never thought it would happen but it did. Our sons partner is from down under and they have now gone to spend Christmas with her parents. I never thought I would feel so bereft. I hate myself as I actually feel jealous of her parents who already have 5 grandchildren and yet we're missing our only grandchild s very first Christmas. I dont want to feel like this and when I get daily photos from our son, it makes me feel even worse. Does anyone else feel like this or am I just being a miserable old trout!

Perhaps grannyactivist the 'angels' you have previously entertained have themselves been entertained by 'angels'.

Doesn't feel so much kind as 'meant to be' really. My own family are all away on Christmas Day so the Wonderful man and I had already discussed who we could invite instead and decided to ask anyone and everyone who would otherwise be on their own. We do get a kick out of having strangers to eat with us and I occasionally allow myself to wonder if we have sometimes 'entertained angels'.

Good for you, so kind

A few days ago I got a 'wrong number' phone call from an elderly lady who thought she'd dialled her bank. This often happens so with good grace I explained that no, I am not Barclay's Bank and told her that she had mis-dialled. She thanked me for my kind response and we exchanged a few sentences before I put the phone down.

A couple of minutes later the phone rang again; I answered to the same lady and smilingly exlained that I was still not Barclay's bank and that she had mis-dialled again. This time the conversation lasted for about ten minutes (seemed much longer) and she told me her age, she's 90, what she did in the war and how she met her husband.

Yes, a few minutes later the phone rang again. This time I found the correct (0345 - not local) number for her to phone and we chatted for even longer as I realised that she was obviously lonely and at that point I wasn't in a hurry so had the time to listen to her. She shared with me her (very interesting) working background and that she was widowed and is a regular visitor to the local Senior's Club. I asked about her plans for Christmas and she explained that she would be alone on Christmas Day.........so, guess who's coming to share Christmas dinner with us? I'm off to meet her this afternoon.

harrigran - perhaps it is the way it was done, OP doesn't say. I have to say that I would rather not be invited by DS's in-laws - been there, done that. I would go again for the sake of the family but it is tricky keeping my tongue between my teeth!
I can see that when it is a single parent and a single child that can either make it very easy or very tricky depending on all the relationships involved and who the pressure is coming from.
It doesn't take much to tip the scales one way or the other either so it is wise to be as amenable and understanding as possible to preserve good relationships!
In our DDIL's family there are also GGPs involved so their family is thinly spread and we have to take our turn.
Our own family always makes sure that we are 'catered for' by one or other of DC, fortunately for us, and for the first time in years we will all be together in our home which is going to be a very precious time. We intend to make the most of it.

We are all so different, I feel so lucky I can spend Christmas Day alone in full knowledge it is my choice, I have no wish to take a five hour car journey to spend it with adored younger daughter and she fully understands and respects my decision, I have no wish to spend it with adored elder daughter and at least five people I hardly know and she fully understands and respects this

I am so lucky, i have never spent a xmas alone, always been with my children, as they got older and had their partners parents to consider i have always been included in one or more of the childrens xmas day. I think i would be heartbroken if i never saw any of my children xmas day.

I am sorry if this is hurtful, but why would you expect to be invited to spend Christmas with your son's in-laws ? My DIL's parents live at the other end of the country and accept that there are times when they will be away from me. GC have two sets of GPs and they are entitled to share Christmas with them too.

It's so difficult isn't it? My DD and family always spend Christmas with us then travel to MiL the day after Boxing Day and stay a few days. When I've questioned it she says that they don't really 'do' Christmas and are quite happy knowing they'll be down just after. As I'll have both DSs and all 4 grandchildren I feel truly blessed. My husband and I always include my ex as he's the Dad of my oldest two and would hate them to ever have had to choose, or for him to be alone.
Our really big event is this coming Sunday when I host my sisters and their children & grandchildren - 40 of us this year at the last count! I get very anxious at this stage as I'm really busy at work and trying to find time to plan is a struggle, but I know once we're all together the details don't matter. I'll make sure there's plenty to eat and drink and just let the chaos take it's course - and hope the house recovers!
None of us know when our situations will change do we, so I try to enjoy what I have while I have it. My thoughts are with any of you alone and feeling lonely and well done to those of you determined to indulge yourselves and make the most of it.
Hope all of you manage to experience the joy and blessing of this Christmas time.
Cagsy

Smilleless2012 - I couldn't enjoy the festivities with a family member on their own either if I could do something about it.

My own DS has three children and this year they have all said they can't have her stay as they want to have Christmas on their own with their OHs. She says she doesn't care but I have known her all her life and know she is in bits from the sad things she has said. I have invited her to come to us but she has said no and I just wonder if it is because the whole of our family will be here. I suppose it might make her feel worse.
My DD is aghast that her cousins can be so very unfeeling - and so am I although I am aware from experience that they lack empathy. There are so many thoughtless people out there and somehow, at this time of year, small hurts can become raging sores very easily.

to all those on their own and/or hurting.

I will spend Christmas on my own, I brought up

my two daughters from age 5 and 7 alone, younger one and son in law are spending Christmas in their own home , his work has meant they haven't spent Christmas together for five years, I am think it lovely they are going to spend it just the two of them , elder daughter has decided to round up people who help her when her illness takes her down and who will be alone for Christmas and she has asked them to join her, I am so proud of her. I don't doubt their love for me.

If the in laws live in France it's natural they want a Christmas with their children and grandchildren

Sola, that point you made "knowing my son doesn't care for me", really hit home for me, I really hope this isn't true and just because you don't see him on the Christmas Day, the rest of the time you get on.

I can understand taking it in turns when it comes to who to spend Christmas with but I couldn't enjoy the festivities if I knew a family member was going to be all on their own.

I hope you can enjoy Christmas spoiling yourself rotten Sola and that your son does something wonderful for you when he gets back.

Hi Boheminan, thanks for the invite and book me a seat on the Sleigh. ]

Rubyredshoes. Unfortunately there will be quite a few of us GN'rs on our own on the 25th Dec. For some that will be fine, but for others it can be a very lonely, long stretch.

It's been suggested we start our own Mrs Sharon Claus sleigh delivery service on the 25th (to tidy up behind Mister Santa Claus's overnight efforts of 24th/25th). On the 25th The Sleigh will be picking up any Willing Helpers mid morning onwards.

These GN virtual meetings are great fun for everyone, and all are welcome to join us in the Sleigh ride of your life