Alone for Christmas

I hope your NY's wish comes true Gabrielle and that wish shared by all facing estrangement is granted.

Are/were you a professional counsellor, WendySue?

grannylyn the Lyrics thread has disappeared off the Active list as no one had posted on it for a while. You could search for it in one of the 'search' boxes on the right hand side of the page and resurrect it!

Where has lines of lyrics gone? I liked it? Am all alone over new year. its not getting capitalsised

Add my thanks too wendysue you seem such a kin thoughtful lady to take trouble to try help others.

Thanks, sola! I'm glad you like my posts in here. And I'm glad you're feeling better, too.

We never visit our son without taking lots stuff, this time no exception champagnes red wine, crackers tin biscuits, chocolates etc.

If that is what you were implying we certainly never go without taking lots stuff and treat them to meal or takeaway.

I would never visit anyone during the festive period without taking some special food treats. A friend who did spend Christmas alone, is off to stay with other pals this evening, she's taking a leg of local lamb, a cheese board, special biscuits and a box of fruit. My sister arrived here for one overnight stay before Christmas, laden down with a cake she'd baked, two great bottles of wine and a lovely bunch of flowers. Hospitality, love and generosity of spirit matter always but imo, especially at this emotionally charged time of year.

As for step grandchildren - I know hardly anyone who doesn't have adopted/step/children who just came for the weekend and never moved out etc etc, within their families. this is almost 2016 and it's the way things are.

I do hope everyone who was alone for Christmas has found some cheer on gransnet or in other places

Well, I'm kicking myself thinking of all the Douwe Egbert jars I've chucked in the bin over the years! Could have made a fortune on Ebay.

I got through Christmas better than I thought I would....mostly by ignoring it. My wish for the New Year is that my daughter-in-law will relent, or at least tell me whatever has caused her to cut me off, and give me the opportunity to put things right.

'

We fly to one dd and go by car to dd2 . I always take the wherewithal for a meal. Smoked salmon is bought at the airport and is either a gift or the only meal in the houseand I take a cooked gammon joint and a pudding with custard to the other one saying I know this is your favourite but also making sure we have something to eat. There have been very hungry times when we have done emergency babysits.

Wendysue Thank you for your warm and understanding messages to everyone on this thread. I survived a bit better than I expected, and hope others on their own, or separated from their children and grandchildren, did too. Happy New Year to everyone - here's wishing the new year brings hope, wisdom and understanding to all of us.
Boatman I hope you're ok, and in better health.

Just checked out the glasses, found Pinterest rather intrusive!! House of Humble had loads of recycling ideas for jars, some obvious, some novel, some bizarre. Tiny terrariums appeal! I think I'd prefer a straw with my Douwe Egbert's but in son's and his partner's home would just enjoy the drink!!

Respectfully disagreeing with the idea of laughing about the glasses (unless you do it just inside your head, celeb). They might take that as some kind of unwelcome criticism. You offered to buy them more traditional glasses, once before and they declined. Nothing more you can do about that, IMO. Obviously, they think they're ok, probably even like them, so I guess you and DH will just have to accept that. Not the biggest problem in the world, as I know you know.

The idea of keeping visits to the summer time is a good one, IMO, celeb. That way, at least, you don't have to worry about being cold. Would it be possible, also, to stop and get something to eat on your way to their home? Cuz if DS isn't there or hasn't prepared anything, you now know you may have a long wait till you get to eat anything. You shouldn't have to do this, I know, but it may make things more comfortable for you.

Sorry to hear that DS has to help support his partner's DSs. But she's not divorced yet - maybe in the court proceedings some child support will be worked out? Not your call, I understand, just wondering if you know if that's in the works. Regardless, as you say, if DS is happy w/ this situation, then it's ok.

@ All - I'm going to chime in w/ the good wishes for those who were alone and Xmas. And sending best wishes to all for a Happy New Year!

Oh dear....sounds as if you went a bit Hyacinth Buckett (pronounced Bouquet) on your son and his partner Celebgran! Lighten up a little and have some fun with them. Jars/vases/mugs/glasses whatever....it doesn't matter. Fish and chips ....fine, nice treat once in a while. Admire her needlework skills, treat those two young men as individuals in their own right, not as not quite grandchildren, they don't have to be blood related to you to have fun with them. Your son does more than you think he should and he seems to be supporting his partners children....... that's up to them. It's absolutely nothing to do with anyone else including you. And yes, you were cold. We're frozen at ds/dil's as they're hardy outdoors types and don't seem to feel the need to have heating on very high. I took myself off to nearest outdoor shop and invested in a nice fleece jumper and down slippers. Warm as toast when I'm there now. Have fun Celebgran.....life is too short to fret about glassware.

She is the person in the previous post. Close enough not to need naming.

Who is she elegran?

I too hope anyone alone at Xmas was OK as possible, it is sooo much commercial hype not sure very few people,see it from religious angle.

It is a money spinner for retail.

To all those that were alone Christmas, the original post, I do hope that you managed to enjoy it after all, hope the New Year is a good one for you.

And in the words of the song 'they don't know what they've got till it's gone!'

My thoughts entirely, Anya...

Some people only see the hole, not the doughnut and their glass (or jam hair) is always half empty.

I think she offered them glasses once before but they were refused - but maybe that was to drink out of, not as a present.

Of course you have thought of giving them wine glasses for Christmas next year.

Crossed popsts - it sounds as though you DID get the jamjars with handles. Well - laughing it off is still the best plan.

Grin and bear it. If you are critical of everything they won't be in a hurry to ask you back, and then you will lose touch - you don't want that to happen.

When handed a Douwe Egbert coffee vase to drink out of, laugh and say "This is unusual" and drink up. (They are not THAT bad - trendy jokey nonsense but we have all tried to be trendy in our day. Have you seen the ones that really ARE jamjars with handles? The Douwe Egbert ones are almost normal after those)

You don't like her doing craftwork in her spare time? Maybe it helps her unwind. Maybe the gym does too. Maybe she needed that time to brace heerself for a visit from an inlaw (OK, unofficial inlaw. Would you perhaps feel better about her if they were married?) Think back, you were probably stressed when your MiL was about to visit - you coped by cleaning and preparing, she copes in other ways.

You think your "poor son" does all the work? Maybe her working full-time means that he does far more than his father ever had to. He is now the head (or equal head) of his own household. He does as much as he wants to, it is up to him to decide how much to do, it is not up to you, however fond of him you are. Cut them some slack and enjoy their company.

Getting tired meant they look quite nice.

No penstemon. They look quite these are actual empty coffee jars and it's like drinking out of jam jars.

Heyho whatever I expect such a shame as a tiny bit of effort would have made us feel so much more welcome.