Dating Websites

A friend and I joined POF about 4 years ago . I'd been a reclusive old nervous rabbit , never going out , just working and family life .

Gosh , how POF woke me up !I lost weight , bought new clothes for me !

It was the most wonderful time , I met 5 nice men , had lovely repeated dates , went on holiday etc - I sparkled . The I got hurt and went back into my hutch . I'm still in contact with 2 of them but I won't get close again .

Oh dear .

After reading of some positive experiences here I have joined POF.
It feels quite scary, a bit like going into a pub full of men when your mother said you shouldn't.
In the 48 hours since enrolling I have had half-a-dozen emails (via the website, not my personal one) and around 30 'Would like to Meet'.
Even though you can restrict it to your locality I have had a couple of contact requests come from America.
I am not going to rush into anything though.

I met my husband (second -time-around for us both) on Match.Com - Affinity.

I was fortunate - he and I were both honest with each other. I had met one other person online before him and although he was a nice enough man, he wasn't honest about what he wanted.

My advice - be clear and upfront about what you want. I actually put in my profile that I only wanted to hear from people who were interested in developing a relationship OVER TIME. I said what my family set up was (teenage / 20-something children / some dependent) and said I wasn't prepared to be messed about!

If people are only after 1 thing it is east for them to find and get it - I think it payed to be frank and as a result I have met someone very genuine. By the by, I didn't post a photo - neither did he! It was a bit nervy when we emailed them to each other before we met, but here we are six years later, 20 months married and I feel very blessed.

I had realised that through circumstance I didn't have opportunities to meet people so this was a very good choice for me. Lasty, I would say it can pay to pay ... anyone can join most dating sites for free, but if someone takes the time and trouble to pay for a better service, it may be an indicator that they are swerious about what they want.

Good luck! xx

I decided to come off the site and deleted my account. Having a 35 year old approach you (i.e. younger than my youngest child) was a factor ... and a rogue email has been sent to a friend purporting to come from me, so I don't trust their online security.

I'll just have to keep up with my social activities and see what happens.

Still it was 48 hours of 'interesting' stuff

There is its called meet-ups. X

Okay, I've got a grip of (and on) my knickers and signed up to a payment site!

It is certainly true that there are a lot of blokes out there looking for a lady.
It is an education looking at the photos.
I have rejected those where:
1. There is no photo (what are they hiding?)
2. Those where the photo was obviously taken years ago (those flares from the 70s are a dead giveaway)
3. Those where only half a face is visible (the sight of a bespectacled pair of staring eyes and the last vestiges of hair stood up like Beaker from The Muppets will forever haunt me)
4. The photo where the focus centres on nasal hair (I kid you not; who wants to inspect someone's nasal passages?)
5. Those that have been taken on a boozy night out (that drunken grin is not a good look).

Yes, I know, I'm shallow but I have standards!

I shall report back ... so far I have had two emails.

I tried it about 28 years ago after my ex left but it never got beyond a meal. Most were interested that I owned a house and wanted to know my bank balance. I am fine on my own.

I got talking with a single guy in his early 70s whilst on holiday last year.
He said he had been married twice and had numerous girlfriends, had made a fortune and lost a fortune.
He now lives in a mobile home (when he isn't taking long holidays in the sun ...good for his arthritis).
He reckoned that marriage is all about finances.

I use saga connections , it took ages to get a photo right to put up, but mainly look for local woman in about 10 miles or so where I live.
Mick

I dipped my toe in the water so to speak, I went on a site for people over 50, no photo of me, stating that I wanted friendship at first. Well every day for a week the same man, without a photo, messaged me, plus another two men. I looked at their profiles, they were all married. Then I received a newsletter telling me the benefits of multi partnering for sex especially for married people as it stopped them taking each other for granted.I sent an email back to the organisers telling exactly what I thought of their liberal thinking and promptly deleted my profile. Some people may meet a genuine person, but I would never bother again. I really do not want to live with anyone again, definitely would not marry just would have liked a bit of male company.

I have a younger friend who had a big upheaval in her life and ended up taking a job some 200 + miles away -and knew no one. Eventually after finding very little locally she set up a 'meet up' site for the small area she was in. Within a couple of weeks she had about100 members - she - or someone else - posts about something going on within about 10 mile radius and anyone interested can sign up to go and they just meet at the venue - can be to the cinema - to a local festival - to a bar and a meal - anything is allowed. Through this she has met a few very nice women with whom she can go out. She also joined a very local dating site and has had a few encounters but only with localish people - most only one meet up and a couple have been more than that. She often arranges to meet these people at one of the meet up groups so neither of them are stuck - this has proved a good move.
If anyone wishes to start a meetup site they are all over the country and you can just sort of apply and do one - needs someone to initially be in charge but after it takes off all OK. ( done via Facebook I believe)

So Jennywren , did you join a dating site ? I was thinking of re-joining one again but I'm nervous again !

I've looked at some sites without joining. You just create a profile and they send you your Matches. You cant make contact with anyone unless you pay up for at least a month's subscription. I can think of far better ways to spend my money. As someone said, most men of a certain age do not scan as well as their female counterparts. Some are downright dodgy, some are clearly married, some are looking for a 'Nurse with a Purse' and some are just looking for instant rumpy pumpy. There is also the danger of illegal immigrants capitalizing on vulnerable, lonely ladies. Take care! Sifting out the good guys must be an art form! I wouldn't take the risk, but if I ever did, I would make sure to meet up in a very public place just for coffee or tea and wouldn't give out my phone number or address.

I would favour over-60 singles activity holidays - Saga do them. But I'm guessing that fellow participants would be mainly other women. At least you would meet some like-minded potential girlfriends!

Plenty Of Fish eHarmony Passions Network Match.com PositiveSingles.com OkCupid

I have tried dating websites and a couple of the men I met were very dodgy. One was still living with his wife and family and continually lied. We only had 2 dates. Another turned out to be local to me and he cheated on me so he had to go! I have met some nice men but no-one who has bowled me over. Be very wary and always tell someone where you are going. I have 4 adult children and 5 granddaughters so I do spend time with them and some men don't like that. They want you to themselves and would also like to move in asap!!
I personally wouldn't bother again, as once past 60, everyone has too much baggage. I don't think I could get to know someone from scratch again this late in life. However, it does work for some people.
Good luck and take care.

I rejoined a dating site 2 weeks ago and have agreed to a first meet next Sunday . Now , after my brave step , I'm quaking !thoughts of what if he's disappointed in me , what if I clam up, what if he's cleverer , superior , richer, more educated than me ? oh dear . Am I being daft ?

tired I'd feel exactly as you do! I don't think you're being daft necessarily, but maybe he's feeling the same!!

Anyway, good on you and the very best of luck!

tiredoldwoman oh my just remember he is nervous also! Go and just be yourself! I'm sure you will be fine. Don't talk about any negative past unless asked and if you do make it short and then talk about something more positive. People like people that make them feel good and comfortable too. You will do fine and if he is by chance " stuffy" that's not someone who's company you'll want! Let us know what happens!

I'd rather join a nunnery! ?

on a serious note I did some time ago join POF and was amazed at how many local married men were on the site saying they were seperated or divorced! wasnt for me Im happy being single! ?

I've tried POF Jenty, there are some weird people on there! I never met up with anyone and really just used it to chat to males, as I miss the company of a man, but all they were obsessed with was sex.

I tried many years ago and didnt have one date that didnt expect more at the end of it I m naturally a bright and friendly person and men IMO always mistake that for sex.... I gave up and been on my own many years I cant imagine an old man in my bed neither do i want a young buck so best I carry on alone

Oh but that bed is so comfortable when you can stretch out and take all the space up or curl up and the quilt actually covers you instead of stretching onto another person. I wouldn't mind a partner but not for living together, not yet anyway. What is it with some men though that they can't appreciate brains and conversation instead of just wanting to pull? I now no longer get into taxis where the driver interrogates me to see if I am single or not.

Update on My Date .
Well , I actually had two separate ones this week . First one on Friday went surprisingly well , I went on the date thinking it would be dreadful , as we weren't a 'match' but it was good and easy .
The one I'm back from just now, I'd spoken to on-line for over a month , we had great rapport on-line but it was uneasy and flat today .Oh dear . Who sang Love is Strange ?