Split in family

I'm glad you've managed to fit your singing in Alie.
I hope you can find a good solicitor experienced in family mediation.

Considering this janea.
Have had a hectic week with all kinds of visits and stuff I had to do, and very little of it was what I wanted to do....I did fit in my singing group.
On top of that I have building work going on on both sides of my house and they are starting very early so I am not sleeping well!

Spent yesterday mostly on the phone trying various lines for help and info... I still need to do more today. There's a Family line for prisoners' families that I must go back to.
I think I have to go for the Special Guardianship.

And I have to find out just how much my sister will help with financially.

alie sorry if this has already been suggested, or you have already tried it, but some solicitors do work as mediators, rather than adopt a confrontational approach. Could your SW put you in touch with one local to you, maybe?

I shall get legal advice again soon. Like Monday, get an appointment.

I wanted communication....solicitors like confrontations..........

Yeah, I have a feeling that this brother has no intention of getting in touch with you. In fact - and this is just a guess - if they are seeking legal advice, he may have been told not to contact K or anyone who might be "on K's side," including you, outside of court (if it comes to that).

So sorry. I know it must be frustrating.

Again, I don't know if they can get k's Parental Responsibility. Maybe... if they can prove he's an "unfit parent" or something (not saying he is, just that this may be what they try to do).

I don't think that automatically means that any of them would be given that Responsibility though, if that's of any concern to you. Just guessing again, but one of them would probably have to seek legal custody or something like that. Maybe the brother who has the boy now would get him, maybe not... I don't know...

I am getting a feeling I am being sidelined by being kept out of touch.

Having texted again on the number I was told was right...No answer yet.

Still no reply, and I have emailed him in between. However I have managed to get a different number for KB and have texted again this morning.
Had a very busy week.Tuesday I talked to the social worker and she did tell me that the brothers are getting legal advice. and I suspect that this fits with the rumour I have heard that they may try to overturn the Parental Responsibility that K has.......can they do this?

Thanks for the cuppa. No, no reply yet....

Hi Alie nice to see you. Let us know if you get a reply. I do feel for you - you have had so much to cope with.

Today I have sent a text to the brother who has KN at the moment. Just saying 'How about we have a talk?'.

Got his number from my sister, she says they haven't been in touch for a while.
So far I have no reply. I want to find out what he is feeling about me now.
Last time we spoke he was shouting at me over the phone.

Thank you everybody.

Alie I wish things get better for you and all your family

Keep talking to us Alie and say as much as you can/want to.

And too private.
Good wishes to you all Alie keep positive. I too know how dispiriting it is when one bad thing follows another.

It's a council house. He tried to get tenancy and didn't, it is in trust for KN...a very insecure result for K.
I do know a lot more than I am saying here but it is all too complicated!

Then you're not as torn as I thought you might be, Alie. You're angry, I can see, but you seem to clearly know which side you're on, which is better, I think than being caught in the middle. Besides, I'm sure Dd would want you to stand by K and as I said, IMO, it's beautiful that you are doing that. It would have been so easy for you to just back away and say you didn't want to get involved.

Still, you said earlier that you don't really know what happened between K and the brothers. So I'm not sure how you know they harrassed him out of his house. If he owned it, how could they? It seems there's a lot that's unknown here (sigh). But maybe you're better off not knowing. It will all probably come out in a court case, however, if there is one.

Repeat, Wendysue:

These brothers are the ones who have harassed K out of his home. All he wanted was to take care of the two youngest brothers, one his own - as his deceased partner, my daughter, wanted. He hasn't been allowed to!

BTW, I think it's beautiful that you're standing by K, your DD's choice. However, I'm sure your GSs think they're right and I know you love them. I'm so sorry that you're caught in the middle. In a sense, maybe it will be just as well if the courts work everything out (if it really comes to that).

It depends on the laws where you people live. Generally speaking, though, I would say the operative word is "try." They can try to do this - they would have to go to court, I expect - but that doesn't mean they will win.

I would be wary of anything I heard "on the grapevine" though. Did you hear it from reliable people?

Be that as it may, K should probably talk to an attorney if he can.

It seems that KN's brothers have some serious issues with K. I know you're in support of him, but there may be some things you don't know. Or, I suppose, they may just have always resented him cuz he's not their own dad.

I just hope and pray that all works out for the best.

I've left a text for KN and a message for the SW.

But....I have heard on the grapevine that KN's brothers are going to try and take the Parental Responsibility from K. Can they do this???

Thanks folks. Glad to be listened to.

Next job, to get hold of the social worker to speak to, hopefully tomorrow.
Still no answer from KN re Xmas money. Will text him.

HiAlie - just to say that we are all hear 'listening' and standing with you.

I'm another one who often writes in a journal. Not necessarily an events-of-the-day thing but my thoughts and feelings. It means a lot to me and helps when I'm upset about something and need to sort out my emotions. Please remember, too, Alie, that even if you don't feel supported by your sister and so on, you have plenty of support here. Please keep reaching out to us. (((Hugs)))

When my DS is really either angering me or upsetting me, I now write my feelings down in a book. I do want to keep it, just to remind me when he leaves how hurtful he could be but then I don't want him finding it neither as this would really upset him. But it helps, even if I get to destroying it sometime.

Or last night, when my blood was boiling, I took the dog out, and it was pitch black and 11 pm. Not advisable, but I had to get out to let off some steam.