What are the joys of grandparenting

Yes, a beautiful post Cagsy, like many here, thank you. I truly feel that my visit made me morph into a granny!

I cannot imagine how hard it must be to have loved ones at a great distance - 62 miles is bad enough for me! But, you are so right - surely our job is to give them wings ...

There is a beautiful piece of writing by a philosopher called Khalil Gibran - I have tried to adopt this as my philosophy too:

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable

imperfect, as others have said, you have much to look forward to with a degree of distance that you didn't have as a parent. Enjoy!

Great post Cagsy. My close friend has a son in Oz at the moment. He is in a relationship with a lovely girl down there and my friend is terrified he will decide to stay. She does understand he must do what is right for him, but it will break her heart to have him so far away. Flights cost the earth and take for ever and she is not getting any younger. She won't say anything to him but I hope he is kind and understanding when he tells her and realises that mothers and sons never really break that umbilical cord do they?

Lovely to read these posts and the joy many of us find in being grandparents. I think what most surprised me was the impact of seeing my children become parents, I'm so proud of them and my heart feels fit to burst when I see them playing with, reading to etc their own little ones.
We have 4 so far aged 8, 6, 5 and 2, our youngest DS is quite a but younger than his siblings so maybe there'll be more one day.
Our DD and her family spent last year travelling around Europe and N Africa in a motor home with her family and we met up with them twice and when the boys jumped down and ran to us after months of not seeing them I wept buckets! They're back now but planning to go and live in rural Spain, that's hard but I want them all to live the life they choose so they absolutely have my support for all that lies ahead.
I'm in my mid sixties now but still work full time (in our own small business) so I don't have the time I'd like to spend with them all but value it when we do and feel so blessed when they're all gathered around my table enjoying the food I've cooked for them, sharing wine (the adults) and laughter and I hope building solid family ties for when I'm not here anymore

Imperfect You sound enthralled with the new arrival, and so you should be! How kind if SiL to give you the visitors' tickets - a small, practical gesture means a lot and shows you are welcome, (without intruding, of course!)

On a different note, this thread made me think about how WE, (particularly females), love to commiserate with each other when things go badly, and how having a moan is part of our psyche too. It is rare that WE take the time to congratulate each other on the good events in life and revel in other people's happiness, so the posts here really redress the balance. More of these please!

So pleased for you imperfecf

Great news, Imperfect! Yay! (smile)

Woke up smiling this morning ... my phone bleeped before lunch yesterday and the longed-for invitation to visit was there ... so I took the parcel contents with me and drove up with the hugest grin on my face all the way. It was a wonderful visit and I actually feel like a granny now!
Loads of cuddles, asked for advice and able to get dinner for my DD and SIL and 'creep away' after washing up.

Perhaps one of the most lovely things was my SIL handing me a book of visitor's parking permits and telling me to keep it because I am going to need it! I was made to feel so welcome.

And my first joys ... 5 day old DGS looking at me with bleary eyes and contentedly sleeping on my lap. Realising that both DD and I stroked his tummy absent-mindedly in the same way. Seeing the little family being a little family.

Wendysue, you make a great point about enjoying traditions without swamping the couple with your version of them. I think we will be fine, but it is a good note of caution.

I'm glad people have enjoyed the chance to get all gooey - we should celebrate what is truly wonderful. When I first read around this site I did feel this was a missing element even though I understand the need for sensitivity.

Wrote the above without reading any of the previous posts, so that I wouldn't be influenced by them. But now I want to say that I think they are all beautiful! What a refreshing thread this is!

I'm another one who is cautious about speaking of the generally good relations I have with my DDs and their kids, due to the fact that there are so many posts here about unhappy relationships. But now I want to add that, yes, one of the greatest joys is just seeing Christmas and other events through childish eyes again. Or things of nature like a dandelion or a colorful sunset. When I'm with my DGC, it's like the whole world is "young" again!

Yes, yes, yes! It's great to share family traditions with them, too! Love the parcel you're sending and I'm sure DD and SIL will, too (too bad baby is too little to appreciate it yet, LOL!). Just please be careful not to get too set on sharing every favorite tradition with GS. Cuz yunno, the parents may want to work in some of SIL's family's traditions, too, or start some of their own. I'm sure you'll get to pass down many of yours, but maybe not all.

But I'm glad to see this thread made you feel better again. Enjoy!

The first thing that "surprised me with joy" when my first GC was born, was the intensity of the love I felt when I first met them. And when my second GC was born, it was the fact this was happening a second time, all over again.

After that, the hugs, the kisses, the sweet, genuine smiles - all these serve to bring me much joy. And the sweet, loving, often unexpected comments, like, "Ill love you forever, Nana!"

Mostly, I think what you have to look forward to is just the sheer joy of being around your grands. They represent our mortality, after all. As long as you steer clear of such pitfalls as insisting that you "know better" about any given chidlrearing practice, etc. you'll be fine, IMO. IOWs, don't be a back seat driver on the jpurney of DD's and SIL's lives and you will often be a welcome passenger.

You've already learned that it was a mistake to make assumptions. I'm so sorry you're disappointed. But, no worries, this period will soon pass and I'm sure you'll get more time with your new GC if you don't gripe about things now. I hope this has taught you what we all learn, I guess, nowadays - don't have too many expectations - or try not to, anyway. Cuz the parents might not see things the way you do. Just go with the flow and enjoy!

Congratulations!

All the above. My 13 year old DGS is still happy to spend time with us. He chats away and teaches me a lot about cars, Warhammer, new things I can do on my 'phone and lap top among other things. He brings me so much joy . Am now eagerly awaiting DD3 producing a new DGC next month .

My 3 year Grandaughter jumping up and down with excitement when I got to her house saying "Granny I have been waiting for you". Nothing matches the love you have for grandchildren. The joy is purer because you don't have the responsibility of parenting. I can only see her about once a month and wish it could be more.

The joys.......
When they run up the front path arms outstretched grinning and shouting 'nannie' !!
Teaching them about nature and other things that busy parents don't have time for.
Being hugged and told 'nannie, I luf you'

My most treasured memory is of GS2 running to me in a shallow kids pool and throwing his arms around me, hugging me tightly and planting a big sloppiy kiss ?

Our DGD is the joy in our life! She was born very small at 32 weeks and I think at his first sighting my husband fell in love after being quite indifferent throughout the pregnancy ... although he is the only grandad, he is actually a step. She is like his wee shadow now!
Luckily we live nearby so get plenty babysitting opportunities and visits. We also go to visit my old mum every other week as well as having her to stay and it's lovely to see the wee one getting to know her great Gran.
It can be very tiring if there's a lot of babysitting in a week, but I wouldn't miss it for the world!

Thank you for sharing these lovely, lovely posts. It is clear too that a great deal of enjoyment is to be had from continuing family traditions - something I am just about to do by sending my first parcel to my GS ... it has a bar of chocolate for mummy when she is up on a night feed and 'I love you' mummy and daddy' bibs. That has also cheered me up immensely!

oh boy - the new kit (I remember my DM exclaiming over new children's clothing when mine were born) - I had to put the pushchair unfolded in the back of my car as I simply could not fold it - luckily I have an estate car - and the high chair my DD has been lent - it does everything except play god save the queen (it is hideous plastic tho) . Mind you DD did not realise for 6 months that the front wheels of her pushchair could be made to work independently until her sister showed her! So its not just us. The biggest change must be nappies - oh lord those plastic buckets of Napisan. But children do seem to stay in nappies far longer than ours did. Horrible wet terry nappies were a great incentive to potty train. And while those new pushchairs cost a fortune at least they go 'cross-country' which my Cindico never did, with its tiny wheels. As we spend our lives in fields with animals the new type are a godsend.

I was the very first person to get a smile from my second grandson. His mum called his dad in, and everyone gathered round to watch. I'll never forget that.

I knew that I would love being a Grandma, but it was even better than anticipated. GS is now 13 and we have shared his journey through life. A lot of this thanks to his parents including us in their lives. We do a lot for all of them and they know what side their bread is buttered! A surprise was how much ideas and equipment had changed. Particularly equipment. Buggies high chairs car seats. How they worked! One day we just couldn't work out how to collapse the buggy so DH drove George home and I pushed the empty buggy. And once you know it is eastY of course. It did mean that we were not the experts. The parents were. And that was good.

I consider myself to be very lucky my own mother only lived a short time after my DC were born. So wasn't able have the joy of ..
Kisses and cuddles ahh
Tiny hand that first grips your finger
Then a small one holding yours when out for a walk to feed the ducks
Laughing when DGS wants to eat the bread instead giving it to the ducks
Being amazed when first Smile,sat first word or when they crawl and walk (even though you have seen it all before with DC)
When the climb up on to your lap, snuggle down for a nap
The lovely smile they give you when they awake
Running around the garden laughing and squealing (and that's just you!)
Settling down to look at a book under the cherry tree
Hoping that you live to see them as they grow and flourish
I could go on and on...

Oh and when they have a cold and you think they are snuggling in but they are really just wiping a Snotty. Nose on your shoulder!

I have lots of grownup grands and now they come around and do 'jobs' that OH and I can't manage anymore the two of the grandsons came in the Summer and painted the outside of house which we were very happy with.

This Summer they all want to come together to share a caravan holiday just as we did when they were little, so they are booking two large caravans and we are all going in convoy with all their girlfriends/boyfriends in tow to the place where we spent many many happy Summer holidays in years gone by. I'm sure you'll have all this to come in the future for many years.

Jane10 You're so right, I'm new to GN too like Imperfect and have hesitated to post much upbeat information about grand-parenting because many posters on here do seem unlucky in that area. It's refreshing to see such a loving gooey topic here!

There is so much to look forward to, and everything your grandchild does is like a new discovery. It is enriching for both of you. You start to see the world differently in that you question their innocent questions, rather than give the usual stock answers, because you want to help nurture their thirst for knowledge. It also takes you back to the time when your own children were babies and toddlers, and those wonderful memories come flooding back. Out come the old photo albums to reminisce.

Most of it has already been said, but the cuddles and the running towards you with outstretched arms are priceless. The stories, the walks with the dog, the mess over the floor, playing in the park ...... so much to enjoy!

My current joy is realising just how special the relationship still is as they "grow up". When mine were small I would say that I wanted to freeze them as young children, but oldest is now 17 any I couldn't have a better friend. She texts me everyday, comes for lunch on her shortest day at college and yesterday asked me if I would go to a hospital appt with her next week as Mum can't go. She has had 5 ops and I stayed all day when she was a baby while Mum went home to sleep and for the last 2 when she had younger siblings I stayed overnight.

One of my greatest joys has been to see my husband step into his role as a wonderful, hands-on grandfather. The grandchildren adore him and he relishes his contacts with them.
Because our daughter was widowed very soon after becoming a mother for the first time, and her baby was premature, we were more involved than most grandparents. It is a continuing joy to observe the developing personalities of our grandchildren. Our youngest was born at only 27 weeks and we are thrilled when she achieves every little milestone.

Im very lucky and have been involved in their lives from Day I.

I have a very special relationship with each of my grandchildren that grows and changes as they do.

With my 9 year old granddaughter , I'm her shopping companion of choice ( i wonder why :-) ) we do lunch sometimes or girlie movies , and have sat together at my dressing table since she was old enough to climb up for makeup sessions ( and now puts it on herself better than I ever could !!)

With my 6yr old grandson its all about the lego and the outdoors , and he and Grampy spend many happy hours discussing boy things that Nana has no clue about!!

With the 4 yr old I am his Nana. Simply as that. I am his partner in crime, his co chef, his painter and sticker. Just his !

With my 20 month old grandson Im the bringer of sweeties and hugs and kisses and the owner of his favourite thing in the whole world Dog Dog !

To them all I am the provider of treats and cuddles , sleepovers, quiet chats, stories and able to make everything right in their world no matter what !

And my lovely DD and SiLs let me do just that - I'm a lucky lucky woman !!