What are the joys of grandparenting

Being able to act like a child again and enjoy doing things that I enjoyed as a child playing games ,colouring in, enjoying Disney films and singing along with them grandchildren bring out the best in you.

I felt just like you when 1st Dgd was born. After all the excitement of the 1st few days, we definately weren't needed while SIL was on paternity leave. We didn't call very often to let them bond as a family and it nearly felt like a bit of an anticlimax! However once SIL went back to work, we were in great demand. 2 years on, we see DGD every single day and it's fantastic.
DGS born 12 days ago (1st baby for DD2) and we're going through same situation! Can't wait for SIL to go back to work.

3 yr old son of friends sitting in carseat behind his parents who were arguing about the route, ' stop the chat and crack on with the driving' !!!!

Sorry meant wellies !!!! Ooooppppssss

Chuckles like ....

ME: Your willies r on wrong feet shall I help you swop them?
GD(2 yrs): Me do it.
Five mins later
GD: Is that more suitable?

We didn't have vocabularies like that in my day!!

I wish I had more energy though.

3 of my first 7 grandchildren are in the US and I only see them once a year and the other 4 always lived a good trip away. They are all between 25 and 17 and we have a good relationship and love seeing them BUT we now have two more from younger daughters. They are 8 mths and 17 mths. I can't tell you the difference in having them close by and seeing them so regularly. We look after the 17 mth old one day a week and will do the same for the 8 mth old when her Mum returns to work in April. They are delightful and we are so happy to have another brood with which to be involved. Today the 17 mth old was visiting with his Mum and they arrived just before I arrived home and they let them selves in. I came home 5 minutes later to be told GS had been running around looking for me and calling Ne ne his version of Granny. It made my heart ache to think he couldn't find me!! As others say it is the hugs and kisses they give you that is so amazing. Good luck Imperfect, it gets better and better.

Grandchildren are truly a blessing, I have 7 aged 4 years to 4 months. They have certainly given me a new lease of life and I am determined to keep fit and healthy to enjoy them to the full. They give me so much and I them.
Sewing vegetable seeds in the greenhouse, smelling roses and lavender in the summer, watering and picking tomatoes, making fairy cakes and biscuits - oh what joy.

In my experience the first week for the new parents is bonding time, new mummy and daddy learning to be a family and the wonder of a new life. Our job as grandparents is to watch and wait and support. We are lucky that our grandchildren all live locally so we just delivered meals, shopping and washing! Then from week 2 when dad's go back to work you can be there to support and help.

Our first daughter gave birth unexpectedly and quickly and was in hospital for over a week with her husband by her side as the birth was traumatic for both mum and baby. When they eventually returned home to the flat they left in haste they were not at all ready for the new arrival. We took over, dispensed an anxious mum to relax in a warm 'salt' bath, daddy cuddled baby and grandad and grandma tidied, cleaned, arranged furniture, cooked a hot meal to last for a couple of days then left promptly when mum and baby were safely tucked up in bed.

The next morning we received a lovely message to say that they couldn't have done it without us and they felt much better. That was all the thanks we needed knowing that we were appreciated.

Since then many more babies have been born and the joy and love of grandchildren just grows and like all grandparents we are there supporting when necessary.

P.s. Pushchairs remain a mystery along with car seat belt straps!!!

Victoria08 - go for it - you will be fine. But do tell your daughter of your fears I am sure she will reassure you. All our children slept on their tummies and survived - if he is strong enough to turn over, he will be fine! You will probably not get much sleep and when they really go to sleep it is terrifying - I almost woke one of mine up once just to check she was breathing. Be pleased they are are happy to trust you with the little one.

It is so wonderful when my 2year old gd rushes to greet me, throws her arms around my neck and says'need hug'.

What particularly melted my dad's heart was whne his 3-year old granddaughter said 'Granddad, I love you more than a sweet!'

I have all the lovely relationships with my 2 daughter's who have children but not with my son. My son and daughter in law have kept us at arms length from their boys. I find the whole family difficult. It's such a shame. We do see the boys more now but being there at the beginning enables an amazing relationship with the GCs and the parents.

Beautiful posts and beautiful sentiments.

Greenfinch, thank you - she was a sweetheart, who I feel had a very complete and happy life so that is a great comfort to me.

What bowled me over yesterday, having the time to bond with my dear little GS, is that realisation that I love him so muc - couldn't have believed I would love him just as much as my own children, but he really has stolen my heart! Maybe made all the more precious because we sadly know how unpredictable life can be and feel the gift of him very keenly.

Thank you, thank you everyone who has shared so much from the heart ... I have been quite choked up reading posts here today and it is the first day when I have felt the joy really bubbling in me ... I even bought a toy for 'granny's box (yet to be established) from a local charity shop and I know I have been walking around with the soppiest of smiles ...

I KNOW I am really fortunate - near enough to visit my new GS quite frequently. When I lived 140 miles away from my mother and my children were very little, we didn't have Skype, but there were weekly phonecalls and she was brilliant at sending 'brown paper packages tied up with string'. She didn't have much spare money, but managed to find or make thoughtful 'treasures': a dolly's pair of knickers that she knitted ... a korgi toy police car .... bottled fairy dust and the like. My children loved her so much and the meet ups - three or four times a year were filled with all the hugs and 'Nanny I love yous' she could wish for.

Yes, lovely reassuring posts about grand parenting?

I have a lovely four month old grandson. i love looking after him during the day sometimes when she goes shopping etc, but recently she asked if I would have him overnight as she wanted to go out and celebrate her birthday. Unfortunately,I'm don't feel confident enough to have him overnight as I am so worried about cot deaths. Also he sleeps on his tummy but always manages to turn over.

Am I being unduly worried? I just couldn't live with myself if anything happened to him.

Sorry, meant to say when my daughter goes shopping etc.

Anyone else have concerns about this sort of thing.

Imperfect27 Please bear with me whilst I explain...
I became an adoptive grandparent when my GS was 3 and a half. We had almost given up after miscarriages and unsuccessful IVF. There was a disastrous trip to adopt abroad with emotional visits to orphanges and after two weeks they decided to come home.

After such a stressful time they booked a holiday in Vegas. Whilst there, they decided they're happy as they are and would tell people they'd stopped looking, although they were still on the national register. The day they returned home they stopped at the supermarket and SiL wandered off to the tech dept whilst DD did the food shop. She told me, 'He was walking towards me with his phone in his hand and an expression on his face I just couldn't read.' He said, 'There's a little boy for us.' and they stood in the shop and hugged and cried.

It hasn't all been easy as GS had been in an abusive home, then an orphanage for 5 months, followed by a foster family, but that little boy is adorable and so precious I couldn't love him more if he was my biological grandson.

There have been many magical moments, but here is the most magical of all. When he was at the airport going home after Christmas he said, 'I don't want to leave you grandma. Not even just 20 cm away.'

That's the kind of wonderful love you will share with your grandchild; a love which is unconditional and overflowing, it will fill your very soul. You will feel young and full of life again, because this small being will be your everything.

My Grandchildren live in Finland - I see them approximately three times a year for, usually, two/three weeks at a time. I have been asked to fly over to assist each time one is born. Number three due February. I am delighted to be of assistance. I realised when I was there recently that I have taken my eldest Grandson to school more times than his father. I was working full time in those days and had a childminder to do that. We often meet for holidays in various countries e.g. Denmark and Portugal. My husband and I consider this a huge privilege that they want to share their holidays with us. They also come here to the UK at least once a year. We love every minute of being Grandparents but can't interfere or get too involved thank goodness because we are far enough away.

My grandchildren, aged 3 and 5, live in Dubai and I get to see them only twice a year for an extended stay. They are absolutely delightful and I love them to bits. They have just gone back and I miss them already, even though it took several days to get the house sorted and I'm slowly recovering my strength. We find Skype a great help and sometimes feel guilty because we can switch off and go and have a cup of coffee! I find the development of language fascinating, as I never had time to notice with my own three children. I agree with others that "I love you Granny" is so moving (I would have preferred to be Nana, but that was taken!).

Thanks Imperfect.

I was so sorry to hear about your daughter. She was the arrow that you had to let go a very long way.

Greenfinch, my understanding is that as long as you attribute the writing to the author you are okay re copyright, but someone may know better.

Wendysue, the Prophet writings are very dear to me. I lost a daughter, aged 12, and we had the reading about Sorrow and Joy at her funeral and I gave a eulogy quoting from it.

To my mind, the Prophet's words on Children are all about letting go with love and 'the bending' recognises that parenting needs must be sacrificial. Cagsy - your words about your own family made me remember this writing and I thought to myself, you seem to be living this out ...

Re long distance son - yes there is no doubt that Skype will help my friend. In fact her DS is useless at communication but this girlfriend appears to be super organised so I think it will be her that initiates the calls. If it doesn't happen then I am going to put my size nines in and private message both the son and partner. I seem to get on with him very well and I think he will take it from me rather than his parents.

I too love The Prophet - but although the sentiment is right, it is nevertheless jolly hard not to feel hard done by!

I loved the idea that DGC are the reward for not throttling teenagers.

While I am living my son at the same time of searching for a property myself after my late husband died. I find great comfort in my grandaughter, who I look after if my son wants to go off and I meet her from the school bus each day. As she is only four and a half she still likes her paly doe and leggo, but we often play different games. It is so rewarding when she comes into the room before going to bed to give me a big hug or ask me to read her a story.
Each day I ask her what she has done today,
'Nothing' is the continous reply!
Of course this is not true as she goes to a private school, so has been dooing a lot of school work.

Imperfect27 What a co-incidence. I had that reading in my hands yesterday and was about to put it on here for all those Grans whose children/grandchildren have travelled far and wide but I suddenly wondered if there would be rules of copy write and that stopped me. I do so love the poem especially the ending.

I LOVE The Prophet and this wonderful poem! I always have but understand it even more, now that my DDs are adults. IMO, understanding that our adult DDs and DSs don't really "belong to" us makes it so much easier to let go and not try too hard to influence their decisions and such.

Cagsy and GrandmaH - such beautiful, touching posts! You both brought (happy) tears to my eyes!

Cagsy, are you able to Skype or FaceTime with your DD and family when they are abroad? I hope so. I know it's not as good as being with them, but I understand it can help bridge the distance.

Granarchist, I hope your friend looks into those options, too.

Indeedy, I think I have bought and given more copies of that book than any other.

Granarchist I do feel for your friend, a friend of mine's DD and DGSs live in Hong Kong and another has a son who also followed his girlfriend to Oz and is getting married there in March. She puts on a brave face but cries thinking that any DGC will be on the other side of the planet.
There are a lot of lovely people on here who are experienced long distance GPs, I'm sure your friend could find support from some of their posts.
Imperfect27 I love that and his other writing on relationships in The Prophet, much there to learn from his wise words

Where to start! I was totally unprepared for that rush of pure love when I held the first grandchild for the first time a few hours after the birth & each subsequent sweet smelling bundle.
I now have 6 of the little b****rs aged from 11 years to 18 months.
Each one is different & each one is precious.

The first time you get a 'kiss'
The first time they clearly say Grandma
The beaming smile when you go to pick them up fro their cot & they see it is you
When their faces light up as you walk in & they run to you
Sitting snuggled up before bed reading the same books you used to read to their dads.
When they whisper 'I love you Grandma'- the Christmas card with wobbly writing that says 'I love you soooooo much Grandma'
Cooking with them- yes it's messy but they love it.
Nativity plays
The first school uniform photo
Lately- seeing your eldest becoming 'cool' & setting off for big school looking a proper young man but still rushing for a hug at the end of the day when he comes out.
I don't know when all the magic will end - hopefully holding THIER babies
& starting over.

My favourite saying is still ' Your Grandchildren are your reward for not throttling your own children when they are teenagers'

just sit back & enjoy the ride. And stock up on headache pills!!