Pre marital nookie.

I was only allowed an appointment at the birth control clinic in the 60's by telling them the date of my impending marriage. I can always remember my Mother saying she would put her head in the gas oven if I ever came home unmarried and pregnant - it was a powerful contraceptive. Often wonder what I missed by not having a few more encounters with the opposite sex.

No totally Ana, I understand.

It's taken such a relatively short time for such huge changes, now woma
En have a responsibility for their own sexual health and life and that can only be a good thing

I had a very caring but quite strict Methodist upbringing and consequently my knees were firmly crossed until an ill advised and short lived marriage at age 19. How stupid was that? I've since learned that none of my peers followed the same chaste route. (Psst - I did make up for it later but could not possibly tell............)

I had Ana! Didn't carry them but most men carried them on the off chance. But we were not as promiscuous as people seem to be now!

Certainly not, I agree kitty. It had to be a 'serious relationship' and one-night stands were never heard of (that's not to say they didn't happen, but no one would ever own up to such shame!)

No problem getting hold of the pill in late 60s. I told a little white lie about having heavy periods as I had heard that the pill was often prescribed for those. Got a prescription just like that. Mind you, that was not in UK.

"most men carried them on the off chance." and some men found that their wallet had a permanent circular dent in it, where the "just in case" condom had spent many a lonely weekend.

How very true, Elegran. And where could women buy condoms then? Men relied on "Something for the weekend, sir?" at their local barber's.

I could never have gone to my GP for the pill, he'd known me since I was a baby and knew my mum! I wasn't about to risk it lol

Pill was available in the UK. In late 60s half the girls at my training college were on it, we passed around the names of the doctors who would prescribe it to the unmarried. Some pretended they were getting married but most just said they were in a relationship and having sex. Still remember the GPs remark "For goodness sake take a pill, don't have a baby!"

Nana- our GP was a family friend and knew my parents- and the receptionist was a neigbour and nosy as hell. But the GP was so impressed that I'd gone and trusted him and got the pill- an awful lot better and 'easier' that doing what several of my friends did, asking for an abortion- saying they had been 'drunk' and didn't know what they were doing.

He shook my hand, and volunteered to say it was 'between us' and that he would tell the nosy receptionist I had cystitis. It was truly empowering to be in 'charge' of what was happening and what I was doing. (btw I was never 'promiscuous' but had several steady BF's before meeting OH).

Was married in1963, aged 20, and 4 and a half months pregnant, to my one and only partner.

Sure, Ana, but a lot of guys wouldn't wear those things or were embarrassed to go buy them. And I don't think girls were as ready to speak up then as the are today. It was so much easier, I think, when women were able to take over the birth control.

Not that I did at that time. For a lot of girls, back then, I imagine hand jobs and oral were the birth control of choice if I may say things like that on here. Also, it meant they were - technically - still a virgin.

But anyway, Didima, 6 to 12 sexual partners before settling down! Wow.

I had forgotten the circle Elegran!

All the girls I knew were prepared to speak out Wendysue and wouldn't have been less than equal partners in any realationship. IYSWIM

I am surprised the figure is as low as 6/12.

@Elegran - and since the damn things were lubricated (with what?) that ring was permanently imprinted in the leather, and forever looked like a badge of failure... I remember my wife number two asking 'Have you had a hair-cut?' as code for 'Are you carrying any protection, man?. This at least meant I was on a promise...

Iwas a virgin when I married my first husband in 1943. I soon left him because he went with other women and was a wife beater. Married again in 1946 and after birth of baby went to birth control clinc who asked how often we had sex. When I said once a week (it was more). they said far too often. Was issued with Dutch cap. Fiddly to insert. Real passion killer.

When I was 16 (1960) I got a summer job in Timothy White's, the chemist. One time a shifty looking man came in and asked me for 'preventatives'. Having no idea what they were I duly looked in the drawer labelled P but couldn't find anything with that name. After also searching on shelves I asked the pharmacist (male) and with much embarrassed harumphing he told me he would deal with it. It was only years later I realised the poor chap must have wanted condoms! So different to today. In a supermarket just before Christmas I saw a large end of display basket filled with interesting looking, multi coloured packages. Thinking they might be something for grandchildren I had picked up and examined several trying to determine what they were before the word Durex on the front enlightened me. Quick furtive look around to see if I'd been spotted by neighbours before legging it.

I can still remember, about 15 years ago, chatting casually with my 2 workmates, both my age, about pre-marital intimacy, and feeling quietly virtuous that I'd only had a couple of steady partners before I finally married. Then being totally shocked when they both announced that they were virgins on their wedding night!

I must admit that in the mid-seventies (post-Pill, pre-AIDS) we did seem to go a bit mad. I can't see anything sacrosanct about sex - couldn't then and can't now. 6 - 12 seems about right.

However, my impression of kids these days is that they are far more responsible than we were and have longer relationships.

Whilst shopping with my youngest a while back, he chucked a packet of condoms in the trolley as we passed - why not? As long as he lets the girl stay for breakfast and so I can have a nice chat with her. Not having had a daughter, I enjoy that.

I think that young women today find it difficult to understand how 'innocent' and 'unwordly' some of us were in the 50's and 60's. Outside of London there was a very strict sense of right and wrong. My lovely sister became pregnant to her long term boyfriend in the late 60's. He departed the scene very rapidly and we were left to pick up the pieces. My mother, recently widowed, was devastated and the whole thing was covered up and she had her daughter in a Church of Scotland Mother and Baby home which was about the same as the homes for unwed mothers in Ireland! The baby was put up for adoption without the consent of the mother. The fallout from unwanted pregnancy was so awful but young people today have a different mindset and society has changed out of all recognition. My sister and her daughter were re-united many years later and she was a lovely girl who had been lovingly brought up by excellent adoptive parents. We were lucky!

I was utterly determined not to get pregnant, but that did not stop me. Not that I ever remotely came near those numbers of 6 to 12. Condoms were used - no condom, no sex. They I met a sailor, went on the pill and married him. Mind you, the Doc wanted reassuring I was getting married before he gave me a prescription. Looking back, I don’t think he’d have cared if I was fibbing; he just had to keep his records right.

I could not imagine remaining chaste until marriage, but one local lass did, and stayed chaste for 11 years. He was impotent (or unwilling, or secretly gay).She ended up having a nervous breakdown. I’d have left him after the first week!!!!

Just one partner, my husband. We did sleep together before we got married (in 1975) but I went to a women's clinic to get the Pill. Was very embarrassing and had to answer lots of questions and have a physical examination before they would give me a prescription. They didn't question my age (I was 18) but did ask why we didn't want to use condoms! Another girl in the waiting room walked out just before I left with a brown paper carrier bag stuffed to the brim with boxes of condoms so there seemed to be no problem in obtaining them.

Hi Jacky b, I totally agree with you, and buying condoms for your son Is very sensible, as long as he is kind and treats the girl nicely, I don't see anything wrong in having a sex life before marriage, we are pre programmed to desire sex from the age of puberty,if we weren't meant to be doing it then why do so many of us get the urge?

I have had 4 sexual partners in my life. I married 3 of them.

The 1st one was rubbish.
The second was okay but....
The third went and died

But the fourth, well, what can I say?

Been with my DH since I was 13 and married in 1969 at 19. I certainly wasn't a virign when we married though. Although more than happy to say he has been my one and only, and I can't see that changing any time soon (hopefully).