Gransnet forums

Relationships

Pre marital nookie.

(103 Posts)
Daddima Thu 07-Jan-16 14:34:54

I was just listening to the wireless there, and they said that between 6 and 12 is the average number of sexual partners for a 25 year old!

I was married at 21 in 1973, and Himself was the first ( only because contraception was not widely available, and I was terrified of my parents!)

Gagagran Fri 08-Jan-16 20:04:46

Hear! hear! Alea. You don't know who is reading these posts.

Ana Fri 08-Jan-16 19:31:41

granjura, I'm sure some of them did. Not all girls were as clued-up as you obviously were back in the day! wink

katie1 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:26:00

I was pure for my husband grin

annsixty Fri 08-Jan-16 19:12:53

Exactly Alea

rosesarered Fri 08-Jan-16 19:11:33

?

Alea Fri 08-Jan-16 19:04:09

(Somewhat bemused) I have never felt the urge to share intimate details of my personal life, especially not on a public site open to all and sundry.
confused

granjura Fri 08-Jan-16 18:59:13

LOL- but surely, no-one actually believe any of that rubbish!?!

Ana Fri 08-Jan-16 18:46:46

standing up, that should have been.

rosesarered Fri 08-Jan-16 18:46:41

The swinging sixties never reached Yorkshire!?

Ana Fri 08-Jan-16 18:46:19

There was quite a lot of muddled thinking around though, wasn't there, such as 'you can't get pregnant if you do it standing/the first time' and trusting the boy to 'pull out' before ejaculation. Risky business, sex in the 60s!

granjura Fri 08-Jan-16 18:36:58

Accidents do happen- but should be VERY rare from the mid 60s onwards. I could never quite understand how so many of my friends getting pregnant 'by mistake' - they knew they were having unprotected sex- so... mistake, what mistake?

Daddima Fri 08-Jan-16 18:14:22

I did also visit the Family Planning Clinic, and seem to remember they asked me when I was getting married!

NotTooOld Fri 08-Jan-16 17:04:59

I love this thread! Grannee - safe sex = a well padded headboard. Brilliant! It seems lots of us missed out in the 60s - and I thought I was the only one although, as I said elsewhere, I did make up for it later. Sex was such a big deal in those days, wasn't it? Now it's like sneezing - you do it when you need to and no-one bats an eyelid. I suppose I am mildly shocked (only mildly) but really it is a much healthier attitude, I think. It's like menstruation - girls talk about it in mixed company with ne'er a blush now. In the early 60s it was a taboo subject, at least it was round our way!

Ginny42 Fri 08-Jan-16 16:23:30

And then they get married and have a huge white wedding costing £Ks. confused

NotTooOld Fri 08-Jan-16 16:20:06

gillybob grin

Elsie10 Fri 08-Jan-16 16:18:18

Mmm - well - I was married at 19 in the mid 60's and went on the pill then - but did do some experimenting beforehand. I have always maintained that one needed to know good from not so good - and how else would you tell if you hadn't tried others! Although I would admit that my second DH ticked far more boxes than anyone previous - but maybe that was because at the age of 40 I was more relaxed about trying new ideas!!!! Life begins at 40??

In the 60's the only scare was pregnancy - now I would be frightened of Aids and disease and would be really hesitant of a one night stand with a partner of my own advanced age - how could I tell where else they might have been before me. I feel that goes for the younger generation now too - their happy go lucky attitude is scary.

granjura Fri 08-Jan-16 15:55:42

I grew up in a rural village in the mountains in Switzerland, and, as said, it was 'easy' to get information and the pill from my GP, circa 1966/67. Ah well, I am just 'below average' lol, so that's OK (and absolutely NO regret whatsoever).

Grannee Fri 08-Jan-16 15:54:37

Once again I am "well below average" virgin bride (ouch) and one and only partner - but as I said to the same partner "I really regret never trying this safe sex they keep talking about". In my day - as the joke says - it just meant a well padded headboard!

kittylester Fri 08-Jan-16 14:57:02

I think there was information in the mid to late 60s and, although I knew of girls who got pregnant by mistake, only one of my friends did. I know that most of the people in my group had sex before marriage and I don't think we were exceptional.

I really can't see, if 6-12 is the 'average', that it is much of an increase at all. And, (thank you Ariadne!) how can 6-12 be an average? confused

Wendysue Fri 08-Jan-16 14:45:11

Sure, Kitty, but still I knew girls back then who got pregnant. So either the guy didn't get himself a condom or he did, but they used it incorrectly. I mean, I know a condom can break, but some kids didn't realize they should use a new one every time and so forth. Remember, we didn't have much access to that kind of information in those days.

But I get that some of you are saying that fear of pregnancy didn't necessarily keep every girl from having sex even back in those days. So why the increase in the number of sexual partners between then and now? It's anybody's guess, I suppose. I do think easier access to the Pill made girls feel more comfortable about it. You didn't even have to stop to do anything, if you wanted to have sex, you were already taking care of it. But I also think there was still a sense in the 60s that you were only supposed to do it with your True Love or like that. So I think that helped keep the number down in those days.

Wendysue Fri 08-Jan-16 14:35:13

Oops! I see that's "Daddima," not "Didima!" Sorry for the error, OP! Wish we could edit!

kittylester Fri 08-Jan-16 14:30:45

Those of us who are a little older lived through the swinging 60s though NotSpaghetti and we all know that was when sex was invented! grin

In the 60s, condoms were readily available if a man was brave enough to ask for them and most men were if 'nookie' was in the offing.

NotSpaghetti Fri 08-Jan-16 13:59:21

Think that for those of us who were young adults in the 70s, this aspect of life was very different. Not saying contraception was as easy as it should have been but think it was much harder for those of you who are a little older. JackyB seems to be my age, and I too think 6-12 sounds likely.

gillybob Fri 08-Jan-16 13:12:53

SueDoku grin

Your last paragraph reminded me of visiting several doctors the doctor to ask for HRT. One of them couldn't speak very good English well it was better than my Bangladeshi or whatever and reading a list of symptoms from a sheet of paper she asked;

How is your Lye Bye Doh ?

I answered " Excuse me. My what?"

She repeated "Your Lye Bye Doh"?

At this stage I must have looked very puzzled.

"your sexy life dear"

grin

SueDoku Fri 08-Jan-16 13:05:27

Only 1 partner - & I married him. I remember going into a shop to attempt to buy condoms and being refused 'Because you aren't married' - despite my engagement ring... (This was in 1968) hmm
When I wanted to go on the pill, my fiancé came to the doctor's with me to reassure him that he was happy with me doing this...!!! shock My GP - despite being quite young - seemed to be very ignorant of how the pill worked; when I returned to say that I kept getting breakthrough bleeding, he looked puzzled and then advised me to take 2 pills so that didn't happen...! At this point I decamped to the Family Planning Clinic, as the staff there at least knew what they were talking about - and were happy to discuss any queries. Mind you, I do remember one of the doctors asking 'How's your libido?' and me, thinking, 'What the hell is that??' but not wanting to admit my ignorance, stuttering, 'Fine thanks'...! grin