Mothers in Law -

Nicest thing I am not going to say, but she does lots of nice things.
Worst thing is her habit of sticking to her routine of life so rigidly, that for instance I never bothered to ask her to babysit on a friday unless it was an absolute emergency.

My MIL was wonderful and regularly had the girls to stay especially when I was pregnant with number 3. It helped that she lived much nearer than my own parents and with hindsight, I feel guilty that my own mother may have felt shut out . But she really didn't "do" small children and when we were with them I was conscious that I was still the "daughter" not the Mum!
I am sad that our DDs missed out on that relationship, they adored my father who was, again, much better with children.

My MIL was a lovely, kind,generous lady who gave me all the love my own mother never did. She was much loved and although she sadly died nearly 30 years ago,even her nieces and nephews still speak fondly of her.
I was thrilled when my DD named her baby after her Grandma.
The only criticism I have of her is that she refused to do any childminding or babysit as she wanted to enjoy her retirement.

Both of mine were universally kind from the moment they met me and good grans too without taking any nonsense from my kids. Great role models.

The worst thing my in-laws (together) ever did was to visit DS2 in hospital on his 2nd birthday and not bring him a present. I had a bad feeling that they thought he was going to die and wasn't worth the expense. They were notoriously stingy. However, they are long gone and DS has just turned 43.

She complained about everything I ever said or did! She complained about me before we ever met and once we had it was plain I never shaped up.

I tried for 20 years to be what she wanted but then I gave up and at least I was happy !

I can't recall a single nice thing ever.

How sad is that?

Not an easy task though - but yes, try very hard to achieve this.

My mil was a hard and difficult woman- and it was hard at times. But learning more about her story and what she went through- I got to respect her and I am so glad we never did fall out (and the opportunities would have been many). Watching her develop Alzheimers and getting worse and worse was so sad.

I'm trying to follow her example

The nicest thing my MiL did - and she did this always, all the years I knew her - was never to interfere with how I raised the children, how I ran the household, how I cooked, or any of my lifestyle choices. She was such a lovely lady and I don't think I really appreciated how lucky I was to have such a mother-in-law. She said right from the outset that I need never worry that she would be the classic 'interfering mother-in-law', because she never would be. And she never was.
The only thing I would criticise her for was the way she favoured our DS over his sister. My DH was their only child and our DS was the image of him as a child, and I believe it was this that made them love him more. Recently, my DD has opened up about how upset she always felt when they stayed over for a few days, during half-term when I was working. It was so obvious to her that she was second best. Just little things, like praising everything DS did, but never her efforts, like being made to go to bed earlier because she was the younger one (I never made that difference as they were so close in age). She told me that she used to cry herself to sleep and pray that I would just turn up and take her home. I never knew .

The nicest thing was to say that the day I married MrA was the happiest of her life
In the 47 years I've known her, she's never said or done anything other than be kind and supportive.

I barely knew my MiL, DH's family lived in London and I lived in Kent. I only saw her every other weekend when she allowed me to stay at theirs, so I guess that's the nicest thing she did for me. DH stayed at ours the other weekends. I don't think she liked me very much but was never mean to me. Then when we got engaged he moved to my town. DH didn't have a car and nor did MiL &FiL so rarely saw them after that. MiL died when I was pregnant with our first DC FiL had died a couple of years before.

I cannot think of anything nice that she said or did for me. I obviously was not up to the high standard she expected for her eldest son to marry.

I can't really think of anything nice she did for me during the few occasions we were thrust into each others company. On the other hand, DH and i drove her 60 miles to the wilds of mid wales (no motorways - it took us hours) to visit her elderly mother and when we got there she refused to get out of the car because her mother lived with an aunt she didn't get on with. She forgot to mention this when the trip was mooted. DH had a meltdown and made her go in anyway. She never spoke to either of us for ages after that, except to visit us in our first house and complain that we didn't have a stair carpet when she knew we only had enough money to buy the bare essentials never mind stair carpets!

The unkindest thing was something she often did when I was married to her son. I used to pick up our 3 children from school/playgroup and walk round to see nanny, she would often open the door with her coat on and and say "oh sorry but I'm just going out", I knew it was a lie but she did it time and time again which is why our children now don't have a relationship with her.

The kindest thing was many years later when I had been divorced for years from her son (I still kept in touch, was to ask me to my fil funeral (he and I had a lovely relationship) we've since got on much better and I visit it her every month.