1st Grandchild's Christening

Just catching up w/ this milly.... appreciate the update and am glad everyone had a lovely time at the Christening! Adorable picture - what a beautiful baby girl!

Sorry about your ex' negative reaction! No matter what he thinks his "reasons" are, he sounds like a very selfish, nasty man to me. I'm sorry you endured so many unhappy years with him, but glad you, finally, got away from him and have found new happiness.

Sorry, too, that you had to experience abuse (verbal, I take it) from his aunt. (((Hugs))) Was this in person or on the phone or the Internet? Once again, please screen all calls and don't pick up if it's from him or, now, I guess, one of his relatives. Also, I hope you can ignore any nasty voicemails (it's hard, I know) and just delete them. Same with any emails from them or private messages on FB.

Also, congratulations on your new GC! How exciting to have 2 new grandbabies, all at around the same time!

Please don't be surprised, though, if "not girlfriend" suddenly becomes a more important person in your DS' (dear son's) life. Even if not, he'll always have a connection with her now through this baby. I hope you have/can develop a positive attitude towards her, as she is your new GC's mom.

Wishing you many joys with both GC!!!

Glad all went well and congrats on new GC!

It was bad enough enduring the life I lived with him in the last 14 years of our marriage, now being outside the box I realise I didn't give him credit for his coercive control over me, I'm an intelligent woman, a manager of a child protection team but still I couldn't see what he was REALLY doing to me until I left, he continues to behave in similar ways especially by using our adult children along the way. It breaks my heart. His behaviour is also dictated by whether he has a current girlfriend or not , none of which he's been able to remain faithful to btw.

More news and more drama - my youngest son's 'not girlfriend' as I call her for obvious reasons has given birth to a baby girl tonight. I am truly blessed

Thank you all for your comments and opinions, I have valued and reflected upon all X

Lovely photo Milly, I'm glad you had a nice day. Personally, I think you did the right thing. I was married to a controlling bully and I understand how you feel.

Sweet child, I do hope when older she will get to know her grandfather and judge for herself if he is an unpleasant man or a man who suffered great hurt

Thanks for the update and the lovely photograph millymolly. Some people aren't happy unless they're creating drama, tension and making themselves victims. It sounds like you all had a lovely day.

Well done to you Milly for sticking to your guns. What a lovely photo and I'm pleased it all went well.

Onward and upward.

Just to let everyone know, my Ex and his family did not attend the christening. It was a lovely small affair and everyone thoroughly enjoyed.

My Ex prior to the christening has removed all photos and reference to our granddaughter from his FB and our sons.

I was also subjected to abuse the night before from his aunt whom he's not been in contact (15 years) with until recently

One day i will have peace from this man

Sorry just checking back after a few days, my Ex is a narcissist, he will never change. What he wants is for me to give in which I did continuously during our marriage. It's all about him wanting me to chose his attendance over my OH, I'm not prepared to do this else it will continue for years to come in regards to all celebrations. The decision is ultimately with him. I'm fed up of putting up with his periodic nonsense and trying to use our children in an effort to get a reaction from me.

I'd attempted to divorce him prior to the actual divorce due to his controlling and romanising behaviour, I was worn down with false promises and made to feel everything was in my head. No more an I allowing him to control my life.

I'm done, if he refuses to attend then it's his choice

Coming to this late - sorry. I haven't read all the comments either.

I had a very similar experience; first grandchild's first birthday. My ex husband didn't go although invited. He wasn't missed; just exposed as the coward and bully that he is.

Hope you have a lovely day.

xxx

Congrats, millymolly, in the birth of your first GC! Sorry that your ex's behavior is overshadowing what should be a very joyous time in your life. But, hopefully, given DIL's attitude, you can put that aside and just enjoy your new GD and her Christening.

I'm with those who say that since DS and DIL invited both you and your new partner, that's all you need to know. If OH decides to step back in favor of your ex, that would be very magnanimous of him where your ex is concerned. But DS and DIL may not be happy with that decision.

I really think the ball is in your ex' court here. Either it means more to him to be at GD's Christening or to avoid your OH. His choice and totally on him. If you/OH make it easy for him, that just postpones the decision till later events. If I were OH, I would attend, especially if I already accepted the invitation. Ex knew when you got divorced that there might be occasions, eventually, where you would be present with a new man. Did he just assume he would have a say in the guest list?!

As for any messages from your ex, I would screen all calls, maybe block his number and so forth. If he can't contact you, he can't pressure you.

Best wishes to you and yours - especially that baby-doll!

Millymolly do let us know what you decided and how it all goes. all the best.

Millymolly . Would it be possible for you and your partner to go to the actual baptism service and then for your partner to miss the Social gathering afterwards in an attempt to be sensitive to your ex husband? That way your partner is supporting the important bit of the day and supporting the grandchild but also you would both be being gracious towards your ex husband. Whatever you decide I hope it goes well and do enjoy your new GC.

Shall we not do a complete Alpha course on here?

In the parable of the Prodigal Son the younger son comes back and says to his dad I have sinned against you and heaven and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. This is repentance or a ' turning round'. Of course a separate discussion is whether he was really repentant or fed up with his lot!

Maggiejane how much can you not bring religion into a thread centred round a Christening?

The Good Shepherd went after the sheep that had left the fold. The sheep didn't have to saybaa, please.

In the Holy Communion service every week we repent of our sins and then the priest offers us Gods forgiveness.

Not according to Christian philosophy! Think about the prodigal son.

Trisher. Surely someone needs to repent of their sins to receive forgiveness. Repenting simply means feeling sorry for what we have done wrong and then we can be forgiven.

If we are bringing religion into it Trisher doesn't the marriage service say 'until death do us part' . Perhaps that's why the ex husband can't 'move on'.

Same applies to the poster harrysgran- if she has to take her new partner. As my gran would have put it "It's six of one and half a dozen of the other."

I know ab.

Stick to your guns it's just your ex husbands way of trying to control the situation to suit himself if he doesn't attend it proves he can't put his family's happiness before his own.

Jingle, just joining in with all who have judged