Age Difference Marriages

Husband is 18 years younger than me, and we have been together 19 years, married for 16. While husband is PHYSICALLY so much younger, he is the grown-up of the two of us! We have no children - I think I would hate the competition for attention! - and neither of us wants or misses them. I think if he did, that would be a problem, and probably would have meant the end of us, as I wouldn't try to hold him if he needed children, because I want always his happiness, even if that isn't with me. I don't think age, per se, is important - it comes down to the dynamics between the couple, which is as different as people!

My dad was older than my mum by 17 years, they married when she was 32 and he was 49. After an unfortunate experience of having our grandmother living with us when we were teenagers, with gran fighting with mum and often reducing her to tears, and with no help from mum's brother or sister ( who had spare bedrooms, children left home, houses with bathrooms, which we didn't have, and the wives were at home all day) my two sisters and I made a pact that when dad died we'd share looking after mum. However Mum died first and I had the honour of looking after dad for the next 18 months before he too passed away. Although I had two toddlers, and dad was 79 and partially blind, my two sisters had no children but went out to work, although part time in one case. I was the one who had the lovely kind husband - (one year older than me) who took dad to the pub once a week and listened to his stories (repeated many times). Unfortunately we split up after dad died due to various pressures. My two sisters husbands were 23 and 10 years older than themselves, the older one being only 11 years older than mum. Neither had children but both had a stepson which they have no relationship with. Both husbands died in their sixties, one sister has now been a widow for 29 years since she was 42, the other for 10 years. They were happy with their married lives and shattered when their husbands died. I don't think age matters, both partners need to be happy and confident in themselves, have some interests in common to share and be good friends.

We were happily married for fifty years. He was thirteen years older than me, and as ' Butchie' has said, the difference in our ages mattered not one jot -
until he developed Dementia aged eighty.
At the age of sixty seven, I became his 24/7 carer for the last ten years of his life.
I loved him dearly for more than fifty years; but now, I do regret the loss of my last, few, really good years.

My OH is 16 years younger than me, we've been together 14years and still going strong.

My husband is 5 years younger than me, 10 years younger than my ex, best thing I ever did

My second DH is 16 years older than me, my oldest brother expressed his reservations at the age gap, he said 'but what happens when you are 50!!', but no one else did. His wife died when he was 60.
My first H had an affair with my best friend, we had met when I was 14 and he 15. We had one child and divorced when he was 6. He died of cancer in 2012, had two marriages, which both failed, no other children but plenty of relationships. After the marriages broke up, the one to my BF after 10 months, 2nd one 12 years later --after 6 weeks, he never lived with anyone else.
So if we had stayed married I would have been a widow before our retirement, but most importantly would only have one child (he did not want any more), I have had a good 2nd marriage and two more children, and we are awaiting the arrival of our 6th GC. Two from each child.
I think my hubby would have liked me to retire earlier than I did, but that's the part of the deal, as I see it.
You do not know how life will turn out there is no certainty, just take your happiness without worrying about the numbers!

I think it is true that the early years are easy and trouble free but later the difference shows. I have a friend and a neighbour both married to men approx 13 years older than them and both their H' s act like old men (which they are).

A good friend if mine is 61 years old and her husband is 75 years old. She is still very hale and hearty and he is an old man with dementia onset. She doesn't see a good future ahead.

Indeed, middleagedmenopausalmum, my husband is closer in age to my mum than to me and they have some crazy conversations (especially now she is suffering from dementia and remembers the long ago better than the recent) about things that I think belong in history books......including the workhouses and £10 passages to Australia!

We have a 15 year age gap. Together for 49 years . Age difference is Not a problem when you are 21 and 35 but is much harder when you are in your 60s and he is over 80.

My DH is 8 years older than me and we're still happy together after 50 years of marriage and it all started out as a holiday romance !!

My brother's wife is 13 yrs younger than he is, but, despite the age gap, they seem very happy together as he is still very fit in his mid seventies, plays tennis, loves Scottish dancing, walking etc and is often away to the sun, so she is well cared for, despite being a nurse herself.

My first foray into marriage (I was 23) was to a man 14 years older, only lasted a few years but due to the fact that he was a drunken waster more than the age gap. we split when DD was a bit over 4.

Number 2 husband is 5 years older and we've been together 17 years. He's my favourite so far!!!!!

Actually I don't think age matters at all, it's more about the people involved.

My daughter was in her twenties when she got together with a man in his fifties.As parents we were initially horrified as he was around ten years older than us! They were very well suited and remain very happy despite this age gap.They went on to have our two beautiful children who are adored by both of the parents and eventually they married.Our son in law is obviously a very old father and perhaps can't do the things a young Dad would do with them ,however his love care and patience makes up for that .He truly is an excellent husband and Father.

@ mumsyface: I find the cultural differences so interesting and enlightening, for example, when I was at school and learnt about workhouses I somehow thought they were a product of Victorian England having been closed down around that time but to discover that my own DH had entered one as a small child with his mother was a revelation, sad and yet so interesting too. Luckily they weren't there very long and not long afterwards it was closed down.

1st husband the same age, married at 20, too young but did it to get away from control freak father. It lasted just over ten years.
2nd was 13 years older and after 14 years realised he was a control freak - finding the Helen/Rob story line in the Archers a bit uncomfortable, but mine wasn't that bad.
OH is 15 years younger and the longest lasting - nearly 17 years!

As for music I find that OH, DCs can all sing along quite happily to the wonderful sounds of the 60s.

My DH is 21 years older than me and I would say it is a cultural difference rather than an age difference. He grew up during the war and experienced rationing and evacuation whilst I was a product of the hippy era and it has coloured our outlook on and approach to life in many ways. Whilst we do have our disagreements (who doesn't?) I have found his longer life experience to be a major benefit in that there have been a number of occasions when I have been able to learn from his previous mistakes rather than having to make my own! However, now that he has been retired for quite a few years and can't see any pension (light) at the end of the tunnel I do sometimes think it would have been nice to have been able to have a long and shared retirement, although many of my friends are jealous of me having a 'househusband'! Swings and roundabouts I guess.

My husband is nearly 13 years younger than I am. We met when he was 23 & I was 35 ( & married). That was 31 years ago & we have been married for 17 years having lived together first for 10 years. It has not always been easy but we are absolutely magic at Pop Quizzes!! We had no children of our own but we have 6 grandchildren from my first marriage who we see all the time. They adore him as he is 'fun'.& gets right down to their level. ( they have a great relationship with their real Grandad too) It was hard for my children who came to live with us- I now that- but we all survived.
My father was 11 years older than my Mum & when she left him he married a woman 28 years older than him ( & only 5 years older than me- now that WAS difficult). They had the happiest marriage I have ever seen & adored each other but she has had a very long widowhood.
I think you need to work hard at it & have a very good sense of humour & it can work well. Any marriage needs work so I don't see it makes a lot of difference personally.

Almost twenty with DH and I and we've been married 17 years in October, 18 years together. I wouldn't say I was drawn to older men as such, just that DH turned out to be the right man for me, my soulmate XX

There were 32 years between my mum & Dad...when I was born in 1960 she was 28 & he was 60!

14 years for us, I have always been drawn to older men - I'm sure there is some pop-psycology in there somewhere as I had a very distant relationship with my father!

My DH is 9 years older than me. Funnily enough, my mother re-married someone 15 years younger than her, so our husbands are the same age!
The age gap for me and my OH has never been a problem. He is very fit and active and I still have to run to keep up with him.
However, I (we) do now have a problem. He is 66 and has been retired for 4 years. I am 57 and have a full time job that I love. DH is perfectly happy - he does lots of courses, plays badminton and golf etc. and does his fair share of cleaning cooing and the gardening. I can't help thinking though that my work is stopping us doing lots of things - going on holidays, visiting relatives, helping out with GC and elderly parents. Most of our friends are retired and they can't understand why I'm still working. We have relatives in Spain and a DS in New Zealand who we could be visiting.
I know nobody can foretell the future, but I can't help thinking what if something happens to him and we never get chance to do all those exciting things we've planned together?

DH is seven years younger. We are second time round, have been together about 24 years and are still happy with each other. Nobody has been as kind to me as he has.

I am ten years older than my lovely man - and at the end of August we'll be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary. We're closer than ever and have happily defied all the negative predictions about our marriage.

DH is 8 yrs older.
Seem to have merged in age somewhere along the way.
Apart from music. His era was the sixties. He never ceases to tell how much better it was than my era the seventies.