Daughter's marriage problems

By just listening and giving her a hug. Its something only the pair of them can really sort out, I'd keep my own counsel for the time being and avoid saying anything about your sil as there may well sort things amicably. I hope there is an innocent explanation for your daughters sake.

Thank you. I know it's best to keep out of it, so hard in parties though.

Feel sorry for your daughter, she is being betrayed by her husband, the future doesn't look bright for her if this is how he behaves. However, IMO, just listen, never give advice, it backfires how ever wise and well meaning. It is good she can talk to you in confidence, she must feel so hurt. Good luck.

Agree with others'advice. It is hard. My DD2 indicated that her relationship was likely to end in the near future. She is sad too but I have just said I will be there to help and support when she asks. I like her partner (of 13 yrs) but know he is not an easy person to share a life with. I have not said anything about his rather unhelpful behaviour just in case she decides they will stay together.

Thanks all.

It is tough, especially when you feel so much affection for both parties. I know she's not the easiest person to live with, but find it hard to believe - he's always seemed so perfect. I suppose I should know that basically men are all the same, having gone through a betrayal with my first marriage many years ago.

I haven't told my DH - her father - as it would worry him dreadfully. Hard when you bottle it up - I feel physically sick.

There is nothing worse than problems with your DCs. We have had one hell of a last year and this year is panning out to be the same.
However problems with my DCs and their heartaches transcend everything else.
It is because our instincts are to protect them from harm.

Problems with DCs never end.
My heart goes out to you OP
I found going on a Mindful course helped me keep things in perspective.
Hugs

So sorry, granny50. But I agree with PPs (previous posters) - just listen and maybe utter a few sympathetic replies ("That's too bad," "Poor darling!" etc.) It's hard for us moms not to say anything, I know - we feel as much for our DDs and DSs when they're adults, as when they were kids - that part of being a parent never ends. But as Luckylegs said, this is between the two of them and you can't be the "third party."

Besides, what if she takes your advice and it backfires in some way? Or as Pentstemmon says, what if you bash him and then they reconcile? Better to bite your tongue and just be a sounding board. If you feel the situation is getting really bad, maybe suggest counseling - once - and then leave it to them - but that's all. And maybe not even that.

(((Hugs)))