Why can't families leave children alone when they are on a gap year

Quite honestly, I find it a little weird and more than a tad heartless to not worry about them

who said that the ones who aren't in constant contact with their gap year kids don't worry about them?
They'll always worry about them, but you can worry and still step back and let the kids have the experience that we had when we were their age. Free as a bird sending the odd postcard home.
I'm sure their parents still worry, they just don't make their kids reassure them all the time.
TBH an adult kid at home under my roof doing nothing and interested in nothing would probably worry me more than a kid off seeing the world.

Three of my children took gap years long before mobile phones and Facebook, so I rarely heard from them. I would say that I didn't worry so much about them while they were away as feel relief when they got back safely.

When I fly home at the end of the week (from Norway) my husband will be cycling home and we will be in regular phone contact. Plus, I shall be following him on GPS, but very pleased to have him home after he's cycled through Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Germany and the Netherlands.

I agree with the OP.
I even think that posting on Facebook, sending emails etc must reduce the sense of adventure for the young ( or less young) person and should be kept to a minimum.

I have a book of transcripts of letters written by relatives who went to start the vineyards in the Melbourne area in the 1830s- and also from relatives who went to New York to escape poverty in the 1930s. It took weeks for letters to reach home, so by the time their mums and relatives read that all was OK, anything could have happened to them ... We are so so lucky these days that we can be easily contacted should anything go wrong- but we also have to learn to let go...

So often think about the parents of the migrants trying to escape war and more, on boats and across so many countries... One was run over the other day by a British man who lives in Calais - will his family ever know?

27 is pretty old to still be fussing after her.

Nonnie1 Are you thinking about the 2 British backpackers and the incident which took place in 2014? I believe this was an isolated incident and I also believe Koh Tao is considered a safe place to visit. If you are having concerns, then be guided by the Foreign Office. My daughter has travelled to Tanzania to climb Kilimanjaro then travelled on to Zanzibar. She has also worked for the summer in Camp America before backpacking across the USA etc etc etc. I know it can be worrying but all you can do is instil in her the absolute need to avoid unnecessary risks and be vigilant. We can't wrap them in cotton wool, much as we sometimes want to!

When I came to work in London in 1970, I was just 19- and London seemed very far away from home. NO cheap flights, No cheap phones, No internet. I did write home twice in the initial 6 months to say I was OK. Hitch hiked all over, went to the Isle of Wight Festival on my own, etc.

When DD1 spent a year on Erasmus in Marseilles, not the easiest of French towns- we had about 2 phone calls and 1 letter from September to July- but I went to visit at Easter (and was appalled at the awful conditions she lived in!!!)...

Keeping in touch is one thing- but expecting news practically every day is totally OTT and smothering- agree with OP.

nonnie1, why? It's on the same planet, you know.

The fact that we want to know very regularly what our children are getting up to when they are on their adventures does not mean that we should be expecting them to constantly be contacting us because of our fears. Both sides need to cut the apron strings and our children nust learn to lead their own lives without us constantly butting in to check they are OK.

My daughter wants to go to Koh Tao this summer. I have tried every which way to deter her from going. If she goes I will not rest until the moment she is back.

There was a time, not so very long ago, when mobile phones and Facebook were still in the future. I had no idea what DS2 was up to in Spain, until he phoned me to tell me his wallet had been stolen in Barcelona. Well, he did have it in his back pocket. Mum to the rescue, cancelling his cards and making sure he had some money. But I can't say I worried about him either before or after that crisis.

Oh God yes, I'd need contact at lest in a weekly basis.I wouldn't need to know what D was doing, just that she was breathing.

My friend and I went on two hitch hiking, 6 week trips to Greece in the 60s (as you did ). We phoned our parents when we got back.

They never said but they must have been frantic. No mobile phones then and very expensive international phone calls.

While I wouldn't for one minute want to part of the adventure of someone of 27 travelling adventure if it were a younger person taking a gap year I would expect some contact on a regular basis mainly for the aspect of knowing they are still ok.

.I don't think its sad at all to be concerned about your children whatever their age mine are in their 40's and I like to know all is well in their world, just checking into FB can alleviate the worry factor. Most times they don't even know I've checked up on them...

I don't think it's us being intrusive. We just want to know that they're safe and well!
Quite honestly, I find it a little weird and more than a tad heartless to not worry about them, it doesn't matter how old they are, or how sensible, they're still our babies!

Well I would be worried sick if I didn't hear every now and then just seeing a FB photo or little note would be lovely otherwise I would be flying out and getting a search party organised.