Are all families like this? (The women keep contact)

The women are generally the family glue! DH is pretty good but it only works when the family want it to work and whilst we have plenty of contact with the cousins there is none with his brothers and their families as his sisters in law are not helpful.

certainly the case with our family- I am in touch with cousins and second cousins, etc, all over the world, both on his side and mine... dozens of countries and a handful of continents and cultures.

Have you ever read Susan Maushart's Wifework? She says "Whether employed or not, wives still perform an astounding share of the physical, emotional and organisational labour in marriage". It's certainly a known phenomenon!

I think it's too easy for men to reach adulthood without even realising this stuff needs to be done

My Mum was the lynch pin of our extended family. I took over to a degree but as I live 500 miles from most of them, the mantle was taken up by my cousin's ex wife (yes, I know confusing) but she keeps us all together (apart from my cousin of course...). I know that one of my DDs will carry on the tradition for her generation of the ever growing family. The men always come to and enjoy the family 'do's' but never seem to be able to organise them - funny, that!

I find, in my extended family, the three daughters of my eldest sister all have regular contact with me since their mum died. I tend to find out what is going on with the boys through my eldest niece. My other sister, also dead, had five boys, none of whom now keep in contact. I did send cards and letter for a while, but they were not reciprocated. I found it rather hurtful for a while as I was very close to their mother. Once she died, and then her husband, that side of the family sort of fell apart. I don't think the boys have much contact with each other now, let alone other members of the family. My DH has a large family who, to a greater or lesser extent, all keep in contact with each other, but as this thread implies, contact is perpetuated by the female members, rather than the males.

Yes, it's always the women!

Oh yes - exactly so!