Is a 29 year age gap acceptable?

I'd say that 21 is probably not old enough to 'know' unless they were very, very mature compared with a 30 year old!

I think it's dependent on the couple.

My brother is 50 , his wife of 3 years is 30.

They make a wonderful couple, she is an old soul and he is still the same as when he was 21!

He has a child from a previous marriage, she does not want children. They now work together. They are always at a concert, or travelling. I get tired just looking at their schedule!!

They discussed everything important before marriage and have very similar views. They are clearly in love and despite the age gap you would be hard pushed to find a happier couple whatever age.

My daughter is 35 and her husband is 47. They have been married 8 years and seem very happy.

So I would say ....why not?

Not flipping like! Dd3 was with someone who was 23 years older and he was mentally abusive - despite their divorce he still tries to be. The only good thing to come out of it is 2 of our gorgeous grandchildren.

Having said that, I know very well that if we had said something to her, we would have lost her and she would have had no one to turn to when she saw the light.

We have all come out the other side but definitely not unscathed.

Is s/he happy?
Then I would be happy for her/him. Our grown up children have the right to lead their own lives and make their own decisions
I might wish for a narrower age gap as I would not want to see my child widowed, for example, but if it is a good relationship you have much to be thankful for.

Relationships can be so uncertain, whatever the ages of the people involved.
I wouldn't be thrilled if my 21 year old DS or DD was with a 50 year old, but I'd just have to make the best of it.

Oh that's what my cousin did she had a child to him. Eventually after a few years they parted .

Many years ago I knew a girl of 19 who married my friends dad. He was 55, divorced for some years and had 4 grown up children. He wasnt what you would really call a good catch but, do you know, they were so happy together. They had 2 children and spent 15 years together before he died. I do understand that you might feel anxious for your son/daughter but I would just see how it goes.

Unhappy would cover it I think. Trouble is the 21year old will do just what they want and not take into account your feelings. Not to say such a big age gap is doomed to failure but the odds are against it on so many levels. All you can do is hope it will run its course and if not put a smile on your face.