advice please re abusive relationship / housing

Wishing you strength and a positive new life I will never forget the peace when I shut my own front door for the first time it was a grotty flat and the three kids were in one double bed with me at the other end but it was magnificent

I've just seen this thread and want to give you and your daughter congratulations on getting this far, and encouragement that things are about to get a lot better for you.
Definitely wishing you luck and strength!

cheerfullizzy I hope you, too, have found a way forward for yourself. There is much good advice on this thread for your own situation. Do let us know how you are getting on.

jelliott I am certainly wishing you well and praying that all goes well and you leave in safety this Thursday.
I hope you have got legal help to claim whatever you can to ensure that your future is as financially secure as possible. You have legal rights whether the marital home has your name on the deeds or not so don't legitimise your OH's treatment of you by going without what is yours by right.
Do let us know how things go as I, at least, will be on tenterhooks until I know you are safe. ((hugs))

Good luck jelliott

I hope you can take some advice and inspiration from this thread Cheerfullizzie and take steps to make a new life for yourself

lumpy spaced princess...You are absolutely spot on in your kind comment..I so agree with you...

Well done. I am sure you won't regret this. You have loving family who have helped, you will be fine. Good luck and all good wishes.

I wish you a safe journey, and good luck for your new life. A great way to start a new year.

Jelliot Fantastic news, you are doing the right thing and WELCOME to Scotland. 2017 will be the best yet.

Please go to a solicitor when you get to Edinburgh. You have entitlements. Don't forego them as they may make your life much easier.

Well done, and good luck.

Wishing you all the best and peace.

I thought you were off in July jelliot and am concerned you are still in this relationship. But this sounds positive and you now have somewhere to go, with dog I hope.

Go, go, go and good luck.

Let us know how things are.

Well done jelliott you have bravely done the right thing, your daughter sounds amazing too.
Enjoy your new life and time with your family.

Well done Jelliot, for having the courage to see it through. Starting a new life will be exciting! Best of luck.

Good luck Jelliot. Enjoy the rest of your life.

I would not dismiss the possibility of getting maintenance or a share of your house without taking legal advice. Good luck I. Your new life.

Good Luck. Enjoy your new life! ??

New beginning, jelliot. Take care and good luck.

That is amazing news jelliot, amazing!

Please tread carefully as women are most vulnerable when they leave a toxic relationship. Women's aid are very good and can offer some great advice.

Stay safe jelliot and good luck

Hi - just to let you know that at last i am ready to leave this toxic relationship. Things have gone from bad to worse so on Thursday night i am leaving and moving from London to Scotlnd! If it fits in my car its going with me, if not i'm leaving it behind. My amazing daughter has found me a flat and paid the deposit and i paid the rent so its all arranged. Its so sad to see 21 years go bad and get to the state it is in now. I know it will be hard and heartbreaking but i know i've got to do it for my sanity, Thanks for all your help and thanks for giving me the support i needed to make this decision. Wish me luck and strength! xx

Even If the house is owned by your husband you would be entitled to half so seek legal advice, or go to citizens advice or women's aid. look into all options and be brave. my mum stayed in a very unhappy marriage through fear and despite knowing she should go she never did. Speak to your family, maybe they can help. Good luck.

Gather all your ID stuff, treasured photographs, birth and wedding certificates and important papers, your cash, passport, driving licence etc and give them to a friend you can really really trust. Get in touch with Womens
Aid and they will advise you from there. They will come and collect you if necessary. If you are in immediate danger phone the police and tell them you need a place of safety. ??

hello jelliot...you are not alone....im of similiar age to yourself...have always been the housewife & mum..cook & cleaner etc...putting everyones happiness first..
I too have come to realise and admit that i'm in an abusive relationship..by not being allowed to work part time..have friends outside the family...told which nieghbours i am not allowed to smile at/speak to..
told that I have a 3 story house to clean..& elderly father to care for since losing my beloved mum.spoken to like im a pig...sit at the dining table alone every evening....not allowed to visit mums grave the same time as her sister...who has been very il too...as my h dosent like her.have items snatche from me when trying to help him...explosive outbursts if i havent made his native dish perfectly....feel nervous when he comes downstairs each morning...I need to find the courage to get out...so intimidated by threats to turn my family against me.....But I know I must at some point find the strength...after 36 years of being a devoted mum/wife.....how on earth do i pluck up the courage....financially i have nothing....advice please ladies.xx

Jelliot - Just reading through this old thread and I wondered if you managed to make the break and how things went?

Hopefully you're now settled in Edinburgh..............

Good luck!

This was a while ago so not sure if it still stands but I partly inherited a house after my second marriage.... when my marriage broke up we had only lived together in this house a year but I was told he had a right to half of it Luckily we worked it out and I took on some of his debts in exchange for his not contesting my house but I think you do have rights even if it's not your house if it has become the family home