Persuading husband to move house

I agree with others. Your parents decided to retire and move to the seaside. They must have realised they would get old there and may need some help but they moved anyway. It was what they wanted to do and good for them. You should not have to change your life (or that of your DH) to suit them. Get care packages for them or get them to move nearer to you. Only move to them if it is what you And your DH want to do with your lives.

I am in a similar situation. I don’t have elderly parents, but would like to move nearer to family and DH would like to stay where we are and downsize. From my point of view, moving is obviously the right thing to do, but DH sees it differently, as we do have a lovely quality of life here. I don’t feel I have any right to try to force the issue, as we are both equally entitled to have our opinions taken into account, so we are still discussing it. Ultimately, we will have to come to decision, but I think if I was adamant that we need to move, it would be counter productive and you do need to respect your DH’s point of view in this. It is understandable that he doesn’t want to relocate his life to an area that neither of you has chosen and which possibly doesn’t appeal to him. You obviously love your parents very much and are prepared to uproot yourself to be close enough to care for them, but, even if your husband is fond of his in-laws, I don’t think he can be expected to change his whole life for them.

I agree with previous posters that your choices are either to make sure your DPs have support in place and visit them frequently or for them to move closer to you, otherwise you are effectively prioritising your parent’s needs over your husband. Your parents love you too and surely wouldn’t want you to jeopardise your marriage because of them.

It depends how strong your marriage is. If you are not unhappy at the thought of abandoning it after 36 years, then you could move to your parents' home and care for them.

However - they were the ones who moved away, did what they wanted and enjoyed their retirement up till now. I agree with Izabella. We could not have moved to be near my parents or DH's mother as they were at opposite ends of the country, so we just had to manage as best we could with frequent visits.

Could they not come to live near you? Could they sell their home and pay to have a Granny annexe built onto your house, if your DH is agreeable.

I can see how he feels if he is happy where you are now - and are you both still working?. Difficult to give up everything.

Totally agree with Izabella.

How far are your parents? Do you drive and have good train service to them? And could you afford to rent or buy a mobile home in the area, or a very small flat so you can go more often and plan home help for them?

difficult. Your parents time is limited, your marriage may continue for many years. At the end of the day you may have to make a choice between the two. My own decision years ago was to organise care packages for both parents and visit monthly. The hardest part I found was trusting others to provide the level of care I would wish, but it can be done. My only advice would not to burn your bridges at home.. You may also need to have the conversation with your husband that a home is only bricks and mortar and memories themselves are carried within us. If the actual process of packing and moving is the problem, pay for a removal firm that does it all for you.

No doubt others will be along with various other points of view, but whatever your decision I wish you well.