Wedding Anniversaries

My husband always proclaims, on 5th November every year ....oh, it would have been our anniversary today .....I bought Enid (his late wife ) a gold watch and we went to such and such a restaurant on our last anniversary......

He never ever remembers our anniversary, hates Christmas, and never remembers my birthday either .....I therefore buy myself a present, a bouquet of flowers and treat myself (on my own) to lunch out ......oh, and I get an anniversary card for him but he never even opens it ....

I do set store by at least Happy Anniversary, Happy Christmas, Happy Birthday .....but I never hear it, only from my friends ! c'est la vie !

Children and grandchildren recently organised a family holiday for our significant anniversary - DH didn't even turn up!

'the poor men' not 'then poor men'. Sorry!

If you are in the habit of sending cards it is painful when someone forgets. If you are going to continue to be hurt if your DH 'forgets' again you'll have to drop massive hints and/or threaten him with losing something he values as men are notoriously careless about anniversaries and birthdays.

It has fallen to the lot of women to celebrate these important dates and to carry and transmit the values that the whole of society rests on. We have the important role while then poor men just get to go out hunting and bring home a bison. You have to 'help them out' with dates and so on.

My DH and I have never really celebrated our anniversary with cards, presents or meals out as we couldn't afford it when we were first married and then never got into the habit. We did have a big hotel bash for our silver anniversary but that was to make up for the fact that our actual wedding was cheap and simple and only cost us £250 in all as we catered it ourselves.

Nevertheless, while he is off the hook for the wedding anniversary he'd not be living a life of ease, comfort and happiness if I didn't get a bit of a song and a dance for my birthday! I don't mind specifying the present and booking the venue myself but I do like him to remember he's married to a person one day out of 365.

Right from the start of our marriage we have never exchanged cards or gifts and are both as bad as one another in remembering the date. Having said that we do know how long we have been married and make sure we have a fuss on important years such as celebrating 30 years next year. I do feel though that if your husband knows it is important to you then he should make an effort and yes you do have a right to feel miffed.

No we don't do cards either usually a meal out on the day where we wonder where all the years have gone and discuss what next!

Yes, they are all different. Next year why not make plans in advance and suggest you do something together around your anniversary. Even though it is instigated by you, it would take the sting out of nothing happening otherwise. And maybe next year I will actually take my own advice, lol.

DH & I always celebrate our wedding anniversary, when we more flush we used to go away but now it's anything from a day out to a home cooked meal with a very nice bottle of wine. Mid you we were married on The Glorious 12th so he has no excuse for forgetting

I've been with mine 50 years,married for 43,never had a anniversary card or given one to him.Guess neither of us is romantic.

H and I have always exchanged cards on our anniversary, birthday and Ch..... I agree that whether or not your a card sender depends on how your family were about it.
We've never had an anniversary card from the rest of the family and I wouldn't expect one.

It was our wedding anniversay yesterday too - our 47th. We do celebrate, give cards, presents, and our family give cards and gifts too, so I now have two new house plants that I have to remember not to kill.

Funny how different families treat such occasions.

Opportune = important - bloody phone!

I'd be upset too. It's really opportune to me that dh acknowledges that our marriage has lasted such a long time!! He is generally thoughtful.

In fifty years, DH has never forgotten to mark our anniversary - we don't usually bother with gifts unless it's special. I wouldn't make a fuss if he did forget or didn't want to bother - just to have him there makes every day special. I count my blessings!

British men are a dead loss in respect of romantic gestures.
We don't give cards anymore either, but hug and kiss and say Happy Anniversary, and then go out for the day.I do understand how you feel GrannyO but you should tell him and not stay quiet and resentful.?

DH is a non card sender. I accept it as they way he is. I always give him one though and we always go out for a meal. I think it is a question of upbringing. His parents never paid much attention to birthdays, anniversaries, even Christmas was very low key.

We have been married 48 years and like many marriages that have lasted that long it hasn't all been plain sailing. I think the fact that we are still together after all these years and all the turmoils says all we need to know about our commitment to each other.

We were married in 1963. On our first anniversary we were on holiday in Blackpool. Thinking how romantic the day was going to be, I`d bought him a card and a little present. I waited till after breakfast, no mention of said anniversary, so I gave him the card and present, to be met with "Oh, I didn`t think you`d want anything." So I`ve never bothered since, and the only acknowledgement of it from him was a bouquet of flowers delivered on our Silver wedding.

Neversaydie, the card's not important but it would have been nice to hear him say Happy Anniversary. I just want to know our marriage is something to celebrate, and would like him to feel that too
Smileless2012 Prosecco beside me as we speak

It's just good manners if it matters to your other half. An anniversary card matters to me.

DH and I don't 'do'cards for anything As we live together we wish each other whatever it is .As we 're often on holiday for our wedding anniversary (it's three days before my birthday) we usually have a nice meal out Often a joint celebration of the two .We have been happily married for 34years .
I think you have to ask yourself why a card is so important ? Is it indicative of something that bothers you about your relationship ?

GrannyOhave a little celebration this evening.

Thanks for all replies, I'll feel better tomorrow. The card's not important, I think he just doesn't like anniversaries, but if he'd even said 'Happy Anniversary' it would have meant a lot.at least I've been able to moan to you all, its been therapeutic thanks

Our 58th today and my H can be forgiven for forgetting as he has a serious memory condition. However I did tell him and he just looked at me and shrugged.

I'd be hurt as well. Agree you may have to tell him, kindly in case its just a case of male inability to see these things as important, how much one would mean to you. Just a wonder, does he receive cards for his birthday and if so is he pleased about it? If he is its a good way in perhaps. Hope things improve, try not to be too sad.

I agree with tanith if your OH knows how much receiving a card would mean to you then it's not unreasonable for you to feel hurt that he forgot. Did he forget the card or the anniversary?

Some people don't see the importance of cards. Our DS regularly didn't buy bday cards or cards for father's and mother's day but since he's been in Aus. he's never once forgotten. Can't give all the credit to our lovely d.i.l. either as they were together in the UK when cards were never forthcoming.