Relationships/Intera ction between parents and babies/children

We.have crossed threads here.

What gets my goat is mothers (and fathers) not just permanently gawping at a phone screen whilst wheeling a baby/child in a buggy,but ones that have got earphones in too! So not only are they not bothering to look at their child,but they can't hear it either! No wonder you hear about children starting school at the age of 4 not seeming to know what their own name is.

I have had reason to use buses a lot recently, and I have been shocked and disappointed at the young mums who spend the journey glued to their phones while child in buggy is totally ignored, even when he/she is trying to communicate with mum. I've seen the same in restaurants, waiting rooms etc. Often a member of the public will engage with child. It worries me.

I agree with old goose.
Buggy straps and buckles always give me a problem.
I have a devil of a job trying to get mine to clip together as I've got arthritis in my wrists.
Same for the car seat buckle.
Of course, the same applies to the highchair one as well.
When my little one becomes more active will have to start using the highchair one.
Why is baby equipment so complicated nowadays.
Sometimes it's a real struggle to get out the door for a walk with them.

Utterly amazed that my DCs survived to adulthood - and went on to have their own! they have their way of doing things, some of which I have reservations, but DGCs are their DCs so theirs to make the decisions. However I am still asked for advice!

My DD never seems to put her 9 week old down,always attached to her or SiL . I took him for a walk this morning in his buggy ( can't call it a pram ) and he fell asleep after a grizzle without being fed or cuddled. She was very surprised ! I too used to put my babies out in the garden to sleep each morning or inside in the pram with the windows open if wet or snowing. Fresh air was the thing but we all had smoke filled houses! My DH smoked all the time our kids were young. Each generation have their fads and I must say today's dads are much more involved and I love them for it.

DGS was going on safari. Lions etc . Cue tears when he found there was no wifi. The age we live in.

All we can do is the best for our own. My daughter and grandson live with me. No baby monitors needed. In fact no gadgets or frills. Thriving happy people - well ok most of the time not all of the time.

I actually see more of the practice I think is called "baby wearing" around my neck of the woods. Baby is wrapped in a shawl strapped to mam while mam goes about her business.Dads do it too. It reminds me a bit of babies strapped "Welsh Fashion" to the mother while she did housework etc.

I had a kind of carrier thing for dd when she was tiny but it was very impractical.

Fashions seem to come and go, and what's "done" by one generation is pooh-poohed by the next. It's unthinkable that we grew up in smoke-filled houses with no central heating or indoor toilets, eating sugar sandwiches and going to chapel three times a day.

It's also unthinkable that my grandparents' generation had a board hung around their necks to shame them into speaking English rather than Welsh. I can't believe that tiny children were sent into mines and up chimneys once upon a time. But it happened.

Nowadays I think it's a crying shame that kids are not allowed to be free to play outside without adult interference. I think that's every bit as harsh as sugar sandwiches and having to recite the Bible in Welsh!

Ho hum...

I accompany my DGD to toddler group once a week and am horrified by the number of mums who are sat glued to their phones whilst their little ones amuse/run amok themselves. No one is watching the door for strays and although the garden gate is meant to be shut mistakes do happen.

I read a female columnist who admitted that while playing Pokemon Go she dropped her baby in the bath! It did, however, alert her into thinking that this might not be an altogether good thing so that's all right then.

You need to cuddle your babies and talk to them a lot.

I agree with Iam64. There are so many classes that mums can take babies and toddlers too these day but they all cost money which means mum has to work and baby is either in nursery or with GP. I feel sorry for those mums today,yes they have lots more mods cons than we had but maybe not so much quality time with the children. As folk have said the children will be fine and will just grow up differently. Funny how with phones and computers etc my GC still enjoy picnics,fairies and make believe.

I was thinking that the opposite was true ! The latest thing seems to be a blanket-like baby sling, which looks comfortable to wear and for the baby to be in - when mine were little all you could get were those awful contraptions made of stiff material with a head rest thing. These new ones are all encompassing and cosy and babies look really safe in them. Manufacturers will always think of new gadgets to impress new Mums, but I think most babies still get lots of cuddles - the baby next door to me has all the lastest stuff but her Mum admits to me that she is cuddled most of the time she is awake. I hate all these new gadgets, and the worst thing about them is that they are so complicated - when my grandchildren were babies ,just a few years ago it used to take me ages to get them ready to go anywhere, car seats with silly fiddly buckles and pushchairs that are supposed to be easy to fold unfold. I once drove home with the pushchair on the back seat, still in the unfolded position because I simply could not collapse it !

Saw a fab picture on line ages ago of a baby cage for putting kids out in the fresh air if you lived in a high rise.......it bolted to the outside wall I believe.

Kids now are much more manipulated than we were by the media an d the wretched schools that want total control over what they wear, eat and think.........

I wouldn't have kids now, we have to let the state raise them and what is the point in that.

The concern I have is that screens -of so many different devices-seem to be the default setting of my DGC ranging from aged 3-20.
Screens sometimes at the table when eating esp first thing thing in the morning. Always in the car, one 17yr old DGC when going to a weekend away en famille to the Peak District, asked "is it by the sea?"?
I understand that screens have their uses and they all need to be gadget literate these days but I find it sad that they rarely, once out of our influence, seem to settle down with a good book preferring films, box sets, online games etc.
I realise, of course, that I'm a (much loved and respected!) dinosaur in our family?

I think I would probably speak even more strongly than Iam64 for the current generation. The way children are raised these days is no better, no worse, just different. I think we should allow today's parents to embrace the opportunities, the technology, the lifestyle they are given and make it work for them. It's their time and things move on, their children will find their own way too.

I'm just put my Pollyanna frock back on to make some very positive comments about the young mothers I know. They are devoted, their babies, toddlers and under 5's are bright, happy children, meeting all developmental milestones, eating varied diets, going to swimming clubs - I'll stop there but you get the picture.
There have always been children whose parents neglected them and sadly, there always will be. I share the worries about some parents and mobile phones. They're the same people who are always plugged into some kind of electronic device which I can only assume serves to protect them from the real world. I'm out twice a day with my dogs and I worry about the number of runners/walkers who use ear plugs. They are unaware of what's going on around them, which leaves them at risk of all manner of unpleasant incidents. They are also missing out completely on the sounds of nature that surrounds them.
I do feel some of the gransnet discussions about young parents are bordering on monty python's Three Yorkshire men sketch. Stand up the perfect parent on this thread.
My generation were in prams at the bottom of the garden, fed four hourly and left to cry. We grew up (most of us) with family members congregating and filling the living rooms with smoke. We were allowed to wander, sandwich and bottle of water to hand, coming home at tea time, somehow we all knew it was tea time despite none of us having a watch. We played by the ponds and rivers, even though we couldn't swim. Most of us survived to tell the tale and I expect the current generation of under 5's will as well.

With two of my GC I was allowed to sit for hours, when they were babies, cuddling them and building an undefinable bond.

With the third I had the occasional ten minute cuddle. Although I love them all equally there is a difference in the way they interact with me. Again it is undefinable.

Forward-facing buggies discourage interaction between parent/grandparent and child, whereas old-fashioned prams and pushchairs encouraged it.

As far as co-sleeping is concerned, there are particular situations, such as an obese, drunk, or drugged parent or one who smokes, which are contra-indicators. It can be a safe option for many families.

Yes Sue I was one of those mothers who put her children in their pram, not down the end of the garden, but out on the balcony in all weathers, except rain. However - going into the mobile phone thread - we went for regular walks, when I talked to them. They had an afternoon nap, and then we played together and watched tv for a while. I think the busy life some parents have to have these days prevents a lot of that from happening.

I'm not sure it's a new thing - my mother is of the generation that deposited the baby down the end of the garden in its pram all day!

My own GC, three of them, have all been carried in slings and have slept in bed with their parents at times. I suppose the advice to parents nowadays not to co-sleep and spending so much time in cars creates an atmosphere of separateness right from the start.

I've observed in the developing countries I've lived in that small children are kept much closer but they also have the benefit of extended family to care for them, which is mostly lost in the developed world, with us all leading separate lives.